We have to ask: What did you think about the Oscars?

I didn’t watch the Oscars–I’m an NCAA basketball fan (The extraordinary event that will happen when, for the first time, Duke meets UNC in the tournament in Saturday’s Final Four game is all my state can talk about.) and, on Sunday, I had serious jet lag. But, whoa, have I read about them.

As I said in the forums, I’m happy CODA won. I resent the implication it’s not worthy because it’s not intense. The Oscars of my youth routinely nominated hugely fun popular movies (see especially the 70s and 80s). Art isn’t limited to grim stories. I’m happy the winners were diverse in wonderful ways. So, I’m fine with the award outcomes.

I found the fashion to be interesting. I loved Timothée Chalamet, shirtless, in women’s Louis Vuitton, the Haim sisters looking so elegant, the Williams sisters plunging necklines, Lily James’ frothy pink gown, and Jada Pinkett Smith’s gorgeous giant green dress. (Kristen Stewart’s mini suit was a pass, however.)

But of course, no one will remember any of the above in the way they remember the slap judged ’round the world. I’ve watched the uncensored clips and it still is so odd. Until Will Smith began shouting obscenities, I thought it might have been a stunt. The perspective I’ve read that I find myself most in agreement with is from Wesley Morris, long term film critic at the New York Times. He writes:

That’s one thing about the last two years. We’ve been made privy to all kinds of behavior we’d rather not see, witnesses of people’s worst moments. Now we’ve been made privy to one of Smith’s. Most of us don’t know any of these people. Yet we kind ofdo. We’ve made them part of some cultural family — that’s part of how stardom works (TV stardom, especially, which, early on, is what Smith, Pinkett Smith and Rock achieved). The reason so many of us are asking one another what just happened, the reason we’re so disturbed — a reason — is that maybe these three are like family, and it hurts to watch them feud. To witness intense emotional and psychological frailty (call it narcissism if you must) is to be left with as many questions about who we are as about who, Sunday night, Will Smith became. It’s like every other mystery of these past two years. We’ll never know. And with respect to him, why do we deserve to?

The Smiths, like all of us, are unknowable to strangers. Their experience as a wildly famous Black family is one so far from mine that I know I can’t make sense of their behavior. And I feel strongly that none of us should ever be defined only by our worst moments. Roxane Gay, a Black, queer writer and celeb, labeled Smith’s actions a slap, pushing, with her words, against the narrative of a dangerously violent Black man. It is unsurprising that Smith’s retaliation for Rock’s words about Smith’s wife is of greater concern to Whites than it is to Blacks.

What do you think? And, given that this topic is one that many find very upsetting, please make sure your remarks are about the Oscars rather than what other posters think about the Oscars. Thank you.

guest

24 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
04/02/2022 5:53 pm

I don’t think I can add a lot to what has already been said about the whole Will Smith slapping Chris Rock situation but:

I have been raised to believe that the responsibility is on you to keep your hands to yourself when no one has raised a finger to you.

Everyone is talking about the slapper’s pain and feelings but few have covered Chris Rock being physically and even sexually assaulted when he was younger.

That slap will go on forever on video and Chris Rock has to live with it far more than Jada does over a silly GI Jane joke that was so outdated it would have been immediately forgotten if not for WS’s behavior.

It was really upsetting to see WS and family celebrating his behavior that night without any kind of remorse.

Is this the standard now for comedians? Should they just expect that people can come up and assault them on stage if they don’t care for their jokes?

Maria Rose
Maria Rose
Admin
04/01/2022 9:16 pm

Ha! I forgot they were on. I haven’t seen any of the movies nominated (hadn’t heard of half of them either). My daughter and I had spent the afternoon grad dress shopping (found a great one that was very affordable too), and then we were watching Bridgerton S2. in the evening. I usually do watch them but they just weren’t on my radar this year.

Lynn M
Lynn M
Guest
04/01/2022 2:36 pm

I loved CODA and am so glad it won.

As for The Slap. I personally believe that Will Smith was wrong. Full stop. You don’t hit someone because of something that they’ve said (no matter how offensive or tacky), and the idea that a man should resort to violence to defend his woman’s honor or avenge a slight went out the window with Bodice Rippers and dueling pistols. Chris Rock showed class after such a public humiliation. Will Smith’s embarrassment and the fact that his crowning moment is forever tainted may be a far more appropriate punishment than anything anyone else could mete out.

What I find far more offensive is the fact that the Academy did nothing at the time, when Smith should have been escorted out of the venue. That Smith’s fellow actors came over to comfort him, as if he’d been the victim instead of the perpetrator. That the audience actually gave him a standing ovation a mere 30 minutes later. That the Smith family went out and partied as if nothing had happened, and that Jaden Smith tweeted “And that’s how we do it”. That so many people are blaming Jada’s reaction for Smith’s overreaction and implying that it was the “overbearing wife” who had browbeat her husband into losing it. That Smith did not apologize to Rock immediately on Monday morning, but rather waited to see how the Academy would react. In short, it’s the reactions and inaction of others that really bothers me.

Lynda X
Lynda X
Guest
03/31/2022 6:56 pm

Those people who say this is a tempest in a teapot, that it will all blow over are right, but it shouldn’t. Not because one man taking offense and hitting another man is not important, but because it indicates our acceptance, if not our excitement, by violence, vulgarity, and cruelty. You can bet that any action movie ends with a fist-fight, and action movies are what American makes, mostly. I am regularly shocked at the language and the vulgarity on TV, and I am not talking about cabe–which never had any virginity–but by NBC, ABC, AND CBS.

Both men’s conduct, although far from equal, should cause this country to take stock of ourselves. But it won’t. We talk a good game of outrage, but it’s just all hot air. I’m sorry, but the black community not being just as upset as whites is just a matter of “protecting their own,” which, given black history, is understandable, but needs to be examined. When Will Smith reacted so violently, I just assumed (I hope I am wrong here) that he was probably a person who beats people up when he gets angry. I hope I am wrong.

And by the way, I’m a liberal.

Manjari
Manjari
03/31/2022 1:10 am

Regarding the slap – I’m on the west coast of the U.S. and the version I saw was censored. Chris Rock’s “joke” played then when Will Smith slapped him and sat down again, both Rock and Smith’s comments were muted due to the profanity. I actually thought it was a planned bit initially. I think Rock’s “joke” was in poor taste but frankly, a lot of comedians make jokes about celebrities. For example, Ricky Gervais has hosted televised major award shows several times and made similar jokes (that I also didn’t find funny). I think the celebrities have to expect this might occur and if they don’t find the joke funny, they can show that with a stony face. It is absolutely inexcusable to go up and slap the comedian. Sadly, I think Smith will be more remembered for his poor behavior than for his Best Actor win and it casts a shadow over the movie King Richard as well, which is too bad as I quite liked the movie.

A major part of why I watch the Oscars is for the fashion. For the women, red looked to be the color of the night. I loved Kirsten Dunst’s gorgeous gown. I also liked Lily James’ lingerie style gown and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s deep green gown was beautiful and dramatic. I thought some of the ladies’ plunging necklines were a bit too much (such as Tracee Ellis Ross) and I did not like Kristen Stewart’s hot pants tuxedo look at all. The men for the most part looked good. I especially liked Jason Momoa’s look with the glasses and tamed hair – he is usually a bit more wild. I did not like Simu Liu’s red tuxedo (too costume-y).

The ceremony itself was a bit underwhelming. The way they showed those pre-presented awards was weird and I hope they get rid of it (the ceremony still went overtime, I think, so what’s the point?). The music for the In Memoriam seemed a little too joyful? And some of the presenters didn’t make sense – Olympians presenting a James Bond tribute? I don’t think there were any big surprises for the winners. CODA for Best Picture had been picking up steam and I am very happy it won as it is a great movie.

Last edited 2 years ago by Manjari
Bunny Planet Babe
Bunny Planet Babe
Guest
03/30/2022 5:29 pm

Move on world. If Smith did this in a bar, who’d care? Zero tolerance is a useless tool. Smith has no history of violence–he made a mistake. Move on.

Carrie G
Carrie G
Guest
03/30/2022 4:50 pm

Making jokes about a person’s medical condition is bullying. I don’t care if Jada is rich and famous, it’s NOT OK. While I do not AT ALL condone the slap, I’ll tell you that people in the disabled community cheered not because of the violence, but because bullying was called out. Alopecia may not seem like a disability, but losing one’s hair can be traumatic, ask cancer patients, and can cause mental health issues (trauma).

The moment with Lady Gaga and Liza was wonderful! And can we talk about Adriana DeBose winning Best Supporting Actress? A queer woman of color gets recognized. It should have been the take-away of the night.

SofhiaMarie
SofhiaMarie
Guest
03/30/2022 3:30 pm

I didn’t watch – I stopped being excited about award shows sometime ago.
Whatever wins happened that night (even Smith’s) have all been overshadowed by the slap (and the cussing). In my opinion, it was excessive and has done him no favours. I thought he should have been escorted out of the event immediately but that, I suppose would probably have started another drama about a black man being asked to leave the Oscars in the middle of the event.
My brother and I had a discussion a while back about the continuous lack of decorum people display, especially in public – yelling, assaulting people, its just sad. It’s not just happening in America for example, but here too ( Nigeria). I understand getting angry or upset on account of someone saying something awful or unkind about a loved one or even oneself, but I think that self control is something we all should strive to always possess.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “the strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling): rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets a angry”. Not everybody in the world is religious I know, but it sounds a lot like an encouragement to good behaviour and the world certainly needs good behaviour in spades

Lynne Connolly
Lynne Connolly
Guest
03/30/2022 3:08 pm

The slap. Smith will pay a big fine that he can well afford, Rock’s ticket sales are already booming, and Jada will make a documentary about it. There.
Smith knew the joke was coming, unless they somehow hid the teleprompter from him in rehearsals. Rock may not have written it himself. These things aren’t extempore. But Jada wouldn’t have been there, so maybe it was her reaction that set him off. Who knows.
I think Smith’s chances with Disney may have gone, though.
the ceremony itself was dull. The clips of James Bond and the other features didn’t add anything, and the script was boring. Maybe they were too worried about upsetting somebody. Turned out they didn’t need to worry about that. I put it on while I was working as a change from the news, which is relentlessly awful these days, and yes, I do watch it, just not all the time. It was good background fodder, except for that one bit of excitement. But as a programme, no, it was dull, dull, dull. Hollywood should do better than that.

Lynne Connolly
Lynne Connolly
Guest
Reply to  Lynne Connolly
03/30/2022 3:13 pm

And although I’m not a fan of Lady Gaga’s music, I thought her behaviour with Liza Minnelli was wonderful. I have enormous respect for her now and I’m sorry people are talking about that one act of violence instead of that.

Becky
Becky
Guest
03/30/2022 2:49 pm

I watch the Oscars every year, and I watched the incident live. Here is my perspective, FWIW. The front row is always filled with nominated A-listers, and it is a tradition that a few jokes and some teasing are lobbed their way. Rock had just made a joke about Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. Will and Jada were sitting front and center, and should have been expecting some jokes to come their way. I thought Jada looked great, and assumed she had chosen that hair style for a role or simply because it emphasized her gorgeous face. I did not know about her struggles with alopecia. So when Rock told the GI Jane joke, I thought it was a dated reference but in a way a compliment, as Demi Moore rocked her bald head, and he was implying Jada did, too, I did not see a reason to take offense. Eye rolling, yes, as it was a dumb joke. So when Smith ran up and slapped Rock, I thought it was a bit they had planned. Until Smith took his seat and started shouting and ABC muted and fuzzed the incident. Then Rock looked stunned tried to move on, presenting the award for Best Documentary. I felt badly that Questlove had to follow that mess, as Summer of Soul was amazing— I highly recommend it. Smith’s actions overshadowed everything that followed, awards people had worked hard for and even the In Memoriam segment. The rest of the evening had a weird, nothing to see here vibe.

At that point, I was shocked that Smith had lost control on one of the world’s largest stages, smiling and laughing and then flipping in one second to violence. I was appalled that he was allowed to remain in his seat, collect his award, and give a really creepy speech about love and the devil. Mostly I was horrified that he used love to justify hitting someone for a lame joke. And I was disappointed in the Academy for not taking action and removing him. I was disappointed that people gave him an ovation and applauded him. I give them a bit of grace as it was all very shocking and there is always a desire to get back to normal, but they could have done much better.

Last edited 2 years ago by Becky
Irisheyes
Irisheyes
Guest
Reply to  Becky
03/30/2022 5:05 pm

Very well said and I totally agree. I haven’t watched an award show in over a decade. I’m increasingly fed up with Hollywood and that whole establishment’s self righteous, preachy, self involved, overinflated view of their own importance. It’s easy to have an opinion and speak out against violence in this country when it’s happening in an inner city 2,000 miles away from you (or showing outrage at the vile treatment and disrespect toward women-Harvey Weinstein, anyone?). What do you do when it happens in front of you?… give the person an award and a standing ovation!

I’ve been preaching to my children their whole lives violence is never the answer, you have no right to invade another person’s space, sticks and stones will break my bones but names can never hurt me, be the bigger person and walk away and most importantly… that actions have consequences! I truly believe that and I have to believe that as a people we are advancing and learning from our mistakes. So now, we just hope that there are consequences for all of them.

CaroLinden
CaroLinden
03/30/2022 1:45 pm

The only thing I can think of, about that slap, is that now it’s A Thing. It’ll be a meme. It’ll probably be a joke at next year’s Oscars. And that means that whatever pain Chris Rock’s lame joke caused Jada Pinkett Smith is going to live on and on and on.
Whereas if Will had sat silently–maybe fuming, maybe glaring–in his seat and let Chris Rock have it later in private, no one would remember it.

So glad CODA won, it was a really lovely movie.

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
03/30/2022 12:37 pm

I didn’t watch it – I don’t think I’ve ever watched it, and certainly not live becuase it’s on at a ridiculous hour of the morning over here. Truthfully? I just don’t care. I watch what films I want to watch and it makes no difference to me if they’re Oscar winners or not. I’m certainly not likely to say “oh, that won X Oscars, let’s watch that!”

As to The Slap. Rock was out of line with his GI Jane comment, and you could tell she was upset by Jada Pinkett’s face when he said it… but two wrongs don’t make a right and Smith’s was a massive overreaction.

Last edited 2 years ago by Caz Owens
Kris
Kris
Guest
03/30/2022 10:50 am

I was disgusted and angered to see Smith slap Chris Rock. He assaulted Rock and then went on to get a standing ovation for his Oscar win. If people ever wondered how the Weinstein scandal happened , this is it right here. People looked away and didn’t hold the abuser accountable .

And smith went went on to say love makes you do crazy things. How many people who are abused have heard that. He didn’t do it because he loves his wife. He did it because HE lost his temper and couldn’t act like an adult. This is all on Will Smith. Nothing to do with love.

LeeB.
LeeB.
Guest
03/30/2022 9:52 am

I didn’t watch the show but I did see the uncensored Japanese version of the incident. I don’t care what color anyone is but the slap and the obscenities afterwards were disgusting. And the standing ovation after he won his award and the people partying with him afterwards disgusted me.

DiscoDollyDeb
DiscoDollyDeb
Guest
03/30/2022 9:34 am

I’m totally avoiding the whole Smith-Rock situation and I’ll share a personal revelation I had during Troy Kotsur’s acceptance speech: my grandmother was deaf, had been completely deaf since she was six, and didn’t get her first hearing aid until she was in her late thirties and all of her children were older. She had speech and hearing difficulties her whole life (although she was an epically-good lip-reader), but it only occurred to me during Kotsur’s speech that my father and his siblings were CODAs. I immediately texted my own siblings with that insight: How did I get to be 64 with both my Dad and my grandmother long gone to realize the impact deafness had on my father’s (and, by extension, our) family? My sister responded that no matter how old you get, sudden shifts in perception only arrive when you’re ready to receive them. Needless to say, I’ve spent the last few days reevaluating a lot of my childhood memories especially the ones involving my grandmother and her interaction with her children and grandchildren.

elaine smith
elaine smith
Member
Reply to  DiscoDollyDeb
03/30/2022 11:33 am

Deafness is the ultimate invisible disability and it is very hard on all concerned: the deaf person, their spouse, family, friends, employer, every shop or church, facility, theatre, cinema, sports venue they enter, every phone call they make or receive, etc. My husband is very deaf and it has progressed over the years, outstripping the most clever of modern hearing aids; nothing will ever give him even 50% hearing. Even safety in the home is an issue: I could fall down the stairs in the night and he would never hear me shout for help and unless I could drag myself to the phone to call 999, I’d be dead when he found me in the morning. Essentially we are both “sufferers”.

I would like to see CODA sometime. As far as the Oscars are concerned, to quote Rhett Butler: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Last edited 2 years ago by elaine smith
Becky
Becky
Guest
Reply to  DiscoDollyDeb
03/30/2022 2:30 pm

DDD, thank you for sharing your story. My MIL, who is 84, is a CODA. Both of her parents were deaf, and they communicated with sign language and writing notes. All 6 of the children could hear. We watched the movie with her this weekend. She had never heard the term CODA before, and she cried at a few points during the movie. We had some good conversations with her and her sisters, whom we saw the next day for a birthday party. I found out that my MIL’s mom also had mental health issues, and at one point was institutionalized and given ECT. It was in the 60s, and I wonder how much her deafness contributed to her issues. No doubt she did not know how to communicate all that she was thinking and feeling, and I am sure the doctors and nurses were not trained in dealing with a deaf person. Plus mental health care at that time was still pretty primitive. It was hard for those children growing up in that family, and the issues from their childhood continue to haunt them. I am glad the film CODA is drawing attention to the challenges these families face and hopefully will lead to more awareness, support and compassion for them.