the ask@AAR: Who are the best parents in romance? Why?
Peeps–my kids are driving me just a little bit nuts. Two of my adult children are temporarily living with us in our three bedroom condo–and one of them has an extremely energetic dog. And while both are, in general, lovely young men, it’s abundantly clear to me that parents in their 60s should not share living quarters with their 20 something children. I confess I’ve found myself occasionally dreaming about all those Regency heroes who were forced out of their homes by stern fathers for… reasons.
Now I since I don’t really want to toss my sons out on the street and they’ll both–if all goes to plan–be gone in a few months–I instead have been trying various techniques to get them to, oh, empty the dishwasher without being asked. I’ve tried tough love, cajoling, cheerleading, and compilations of all three. All with varying and inconsistent levels of success.
I think I could use some good parenting examples. I am particularly interested in parents who have to deal with challenges–not just those who love like Violet Bridgerton. So, who are the stellar parents in romance? What makes them so wonderful? And do you think the techniques they use could be applied today?
Ollie, from Sally Malcolm’s Twice Shy, is a terrific single dad. He is bringing up his sister’s two young sons following her death, whilst only in his early twenties. He tries so hard…….
I’m almost sure I remember past discussions about how many romance protagonists don’t have living parents, or have bad or estranged parents, because that helps reduce the circles of people the protagonists can rely on and increase the focus on the protagonists. Several posts have already mentioned good stories by Chase. Just quickly skimming titles I’ve read, I find it hard to recall anything about the parents in most.
I though of:
Devil’s Cub by Heyer
Sylvester by Heyer
A Rake’s Reform by Cindy Holbrook
Stories with the trope of the overwhelmed single parent finding a match who is perfect at handling the little hellions (or darlings) would be half-answers to the topic, since only one (step-)parent is a good parent.
Leopold Dauntry, Duke of Villiers, reformed and sought a step-mother for his 6 illegitimate children in A Duke of Her Own by Eloisa James… By the time Three Weeks With Lady X rolled around it seemed he and Eleanor had been great parents for Thorn, the eldest of the 6 and hero of Three Weeks.
He is one of James’ most interesting creations. Very hard to categorize until Three Weeks with Lady X.
Do grandparents count? I have always had a soft spot for Genevieve, Jessica’s grandmother in Lord of Scoundrels.
OMG. I ADORE HER. She is just the best.
She’s the grandmother I want to be!
We have a tag for Realistic Parenting. Typically this involves MCs who are parents, but it can also involve their relationships with their own parents – for instance, dealing with an elderly and infirm relative.
https://allaboutromance.com/review-tag/realistic-parenting/
I’m not a mother nor am I an aunt so I can’t bring any personal insight to my reading of parents in romantic fiction. However, after thinking about this topic for a bit, I think that perhaps the most interesting parenting situation I have come across is probably Claire Randall Fraser, Frank Randall and Jamie Fraser who jointly raised Briana. And, of course, there is William, Jamie’s son who in turn is raised by Lord John Grey and all of this is done across differing time periods which, of course, will have had differing customs in bringing up children. In Briana’s case, she is brought up in two time periods though is virtually adult when she slips into the 18th century. All in all, despite the differences in customs, social stature, nationalities, time periods and, in Briana’s case, a triumvirate of parents, the four adults do a good job of producing well brought up offspring. Of course we don’t yet know how William will finally turn out after Written in My Heart’s Own Blood (8th in the series) so I look forward to seeing whether he learns to accept his own backstory and comes to terms with Jamie when Go Tell the Bees I am Gone finally appears.
From Loretta Chase as well: Bathsheba Wingate from Lord Perfect. She clearly loves Olivia but is well aware of her faults and does her best not stifle Olivia’s spirit (too much…) but still make sure she’s prepared to marry well (as was to be expected for the time period.
I do adore Bathsheba!
As someone who has no children, does it count that I’ve witnessed my friends and their children? Probably not, but I can tell you one tip that is absolutely, universally true in all cultures, countries, and times: dogs are easier than children.
I’m not sure I would agree–dogs are, ultimately, unknowable in the way that all animals are unknowable. And while they are trainable, they are not able to be reasoned with.
Agreed! They don’t require a university education, a big fancy £20K wedding or need The Bank of Mum & Dad!!!! And they are usually glad to see you, not so sure that’s true of the average 15 year old in a strop ;-)
Ellie Flemming, mother of David Cyprian in A Gentleman’s Position by KJ Charles, is wonderful. She’s been through A LOT, doesn’t let it get her down, and is wonderfully supportive of her son. Her telling off Lord Richard is a delight.
Violet Bridgerton may be off-limits here, but Quinn also wrote quite possibly the loveliest stepmother in the genre, Mary Sheffield. She never plays favorites between her daughters, and is always there for both.
It’s not Romancelandia, but when I was younger I always wanted a benevolent, generous, and permissive parent like Carson Drew, Nancy Drew’s dad. He gave her a brand new convertible to tool around in, supported all her schemes and presumably bankrolled all her trips to places like Lilac Inn, Shadow Ranch and Crocodile Island.
Unlike my parents who imposed curfews, denied sketchy outings and actually needed to know crazy things like who I was with and what time I would be where, good old Mr. Drew was fine with Nancy taking off and utilizing the emergency clothes and overnight stuff she kept stashed in her trunk.
In romance novels, I love the parents of Brenna O’Toole, the heroine of Nora Robert’s Tears of the Moon. They first show up in Jewels of The Sun where the Mom and the family is kind to the heroine Jude and continue to show up as supporting players through the trilogy.
Brenna has a lovely relationship with both. Her Mom offers kind, practical advise to her brood of girls and Brenna works with her Dad building and fixing things. They are not rich or fancy but they seem like the kind of warm, charming people you would want to spend time with or ask for advice.
Chrisreader – I couldn’t agree more re: the O’Toole parents in the Gallaghers of Ardmore series! I have been rereading Nora Roberts this summer, starting with her trilogies since they are my favorite. I like a lot of the characters in their 50/60s that she writes – the O’Toole parents, Justine Montgomery and Willie B, Roz Harper, Lulu (from the Three Sisters Island series) and Cal and Fox’s parents from the Sign of Seven trilogy.
Also got a laugh over your Carsen Drew comments! I’d’ve loved that as a teenager too
Oh The Three Sisters Island books are my go to comfort reads! I just want to move to that fantasy version of Martha’s Vineyard/Nantucket.
And the sweet couple who have the anniversary party are just darling. Those books give me the warm fuzzies. Nora is great at writing really nice, kind everyday people. Love them.
I nominate the Earl of Hargate from the Carsington books by Loretta Chase. This father manages to give great lectures to his sons, sends them into the fray, and they return married to heiresses (often with bonus step-grandchildren to add to the family.) He’s a Dynasty builder!
I have a memory of a great lecture he gave to Alastair (?). I need to go find that and, ah, share that with my sons!
Yes, I love how much his parents understood their sons and directed them without too heavy a hand. Alistair, in Miss Wonderful, was one of my favorites.
In the same boat here: one of my three twenty-somethings is still living at home—but she’s working full time and saving money to go back to Grad School next year, so I’m trying to bite my tongue when her knitting projects take up half the sofa—lol! (If you’re reading this, Victoria, I love you!) As for parents in romance novels, I’m not sure—the genre is heavy on “plot muppets” who exist only to get the single/widowed parent together with a new love interest—and Romancelandia parents are so wise and patient and thoughtful, you never see them losing their rag. Perhaps romance-adjacent, but I liked how Anne & Gilbert raised their children in the later books in the Anne of Green Gables series—but that’s a different era and a different world.