the ask@AAR: Are you ready to travel?
Today, I, Dr. Feelgood, and our twins are going abroad. I can barely believe it. We’ve not left the country since Covid hit. But it’s our daughter’s spring break and our son can work from anywhere so we’re off to Portugal–we’ve never been–for a week. We’ve uploaded our vaccines, gotten tested, and packed our masks. We are READY!
I come from a family of travelers. So it’s been really weird the past couple of years to stay at home and only travel to visit family. And it’s a somewhat scary time to travel–between the latest Omicron surge and the terrible war in Ukraine, I definitely have misgivings. But I’ve been smacked in the gut lately by two unexpected deaths of extended family members my and Dr. Feelgood’s age and I’d rather take the risks than stay at home.
How about you? Are you ready to travel? And if so, where would you go?
We’re planning a trip to a family reunion in Ontario in the summer (it’s a 20+ hour drive). We haven’t been to the US since summer 2015 and our passports are expired so I don’t anticipate leaving Canada anytime soon. But after 2 summers spent in the same province, it will be nice to go a little farther east. Still, I won’t hesitate to cancel my plans if another variant pops up.
I took a trip to New England last Fall. I’m currently in Florida visiting my brother. I drive back home in another week (a two day drive), with a stop in North Carolina to visit other relatives. I feel comfortable traveling within the U.S., but I really want to go to Italy and I’m not comfortable with overseas travel just yet. Maybe next Fall or in 2023. I guess I’ll just continue doing those home improvement projects and do my overseas travel virtually until then.
I’m headed out on a road trip with my mom next week. She’s a healthy, pretty active 70 something and we’ve done a few of these little trips since the pandemic started just to have a break. It’s been fun to explore my own state and take the back roads and find little out of the way things that I would normally never try and visit. As for international travel I’m still happy to wait a while longer. Maybe 2023.
Yes, yes, yes! We road-tripped in the Western mountains (US) last summer. We were/are vaxed and boosted and continue to wear masks and can’t wait this year for May (a trip we were originally booked to take in 2020). Budapest to Amsterdam. My SO is a huge history buff, has never been to the EU, and we are so looking forward to it. I hope/expect that our presence will not be taking any specific resources away from refugees, and that our $$ will help the local economies we do visit. We’ll spend time this summer in the Colorado mountains again too.
Not with COVID rates being what they currently are.
As someone who has had Covid, is vaccinated, and is boosted, and has no pre-existing conditions, I feel so fortunate I don’t worry about contracting Covid at this point in my life. I know it is a huge gift.
Our family started traveling again this past November to celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday. Although the vaccine/travel docs present new challenges to the ordeal of traveling, it has been well worth it. We’ve been to Mexico several times since then (we love it), and just took a cruise with friends for our school Spring Break. We are used to the travel “process” now. I’m glad to be able to get away. I’m vaccinated and boosted and so is my husband, both of our boys are vaccinated. Everyone in my family – except me – had the Delta variant of Covid when it was everywhere. We wear masks when it is required (and sometimes when it isn’t!), and wash hands A LOT.
We traveled to Italy for Christmas and then Portugal for New Years the year before Covid. My extended family loves Portugal; I was less enamored. I think the holiday played a big part in this – the city was a mess after the late night partying. Bottles, trash, vomit. It was yuck. I hoped to get to Porto but it was a just a bit too far from Lisbon for the limited days we were in the city. I drank many excellent glasses of wine, had some wonderful meals and might have consumed my body weight in pasteis de nata. YUM.
I hope you have an amazing trip!
We are intimidated by the process to get there, but hope it will be lovely. We are spending three nights in Lisbon–we are airbnbers–two nights in Porto and two final nights in Lisbon.
I never like going anywhere for New Year’s or, in Europe, the World Cup. It’s just always a mess!
Your trip sounds wonderful, Dabney. My husband’s sister and family lived in Portugal for many years. Unfortunately we never got to visit, but it sounds beautiful.
With five children, medical bills and a good but limited income, we’ve unfortunately never been a traveling family. I do have some regrets, but I don’t see how we could have done much differently. My husband and I would like to travel now, but we still have responsibility for several kids, so big trips are still not very doable. But we’re determined to make smaller trips a priority, and in that spirit we’re planning a trip to the NC coast for a long weekend in May. After that we’re planning a trip to Williamsburg VA for the Grand Illumination next Dec., and rescheduling our cancelled 2020 trip to DC for spring 2023. The last two trips will include one or more kids in the mix. We have a wedding in Asheville,NC in late Sept, so we’re planning fun things around that, as well.
Will and I will celebrate 40 years in 2024, and are definitely planning a big (for us) trip that year. We’re hoping to visit England, Wales and Scotland.
Your 2023 trip sounds lovely.
And, again, your children are so lucky that you and Will are their parents.
You’re sweet to say that. I can get really grumpy sometimes, and I sometimes feel envious of other people’s lives. However, I feel really fortunate to have close relationships with my kids, and very thankful to have the financial resources to help.
This year we thought going abroad was a bit too fraught. Haven’t been back to Califirnia for 6 years now but don’t have any family there any more so no loss. Yes, petrol prices are also a concern for us too so we decided against the 3 week trip to the Western Highlands and Orkney Isles planned for last year. In the end we have decided to spend some time in a part of England that we don’t know at all: East Anglia. I have arranged a luxury cottage in Norfolk in a tiny village (with 2 pubs!!) and have started on an itinerary of places to visit. The cat is booked into her regular 5* Kitty Hotel & Spa and we will be good to go at the end of September when the rug rats will be back in school and the weather will still be good. And it’s only a 2 hour drive to get there.
We’re off to France in early May for the first time since 2018, and I can’t wait. It’s been a bit of a nightmare to organise though – both girls are coming and as both are working now and my youngest is still studying and has exams coming up (and a driving test) it was a real juggling act to find a time when we could all go! But it’s sorted and booked.
But I’m looking anxiously at petrol prices – we drive to Folkestone, go through the tunnel and then have a six hour drive the other side to our destination, plus whatever driving we do when we’re over there. The fuel is going to turn out to be a much larger percentage of the total cost of the holiday than ever before.
Like you and Katja, I do feel a pinch of guilt about travelling for fun when so many are being forced to leave their homes – but I’m also at a stage of life where I feel I want to do things while I still can.
I hope you have a wonderful time! I agree with Dabney that we need to be compassionate and helpful, but we need to live life, as well. We need to recharge or we burn out emotionally.
Yes, that’s where I end up when those thoughts start. I think I coped with everything over the last couple of years fairly well, but the situation in Europe is doing what Covid didn’t and some days, I just want to slob around, read and comfort eat. Which would also be a terrible idea (I’m diabetic). Having the trip to look forward to is a bright spot for me, at least.
Being in Middle Europe, where travelling to neighbouring countries can easily done by car, I’ve travelled even during the past two years – apart from the time when we were in complete lockdown and basically not encouraged to leave the house and from the time when all borders where more or less closed. Since I have family in another country (the actual distance is 300 km, but there is a border in between), those times where really hard. Especially christmas 2020, when I was allowed to visit but my husband wasn’t. (Not being directly related)
But yes, I’m looking forward to more spontaneous travelling and perhaps sometime in the future travelling without checking the different COVID rules for all the countries.
As for the Ukraine war, so far we don’t notice it too much here: Yes, there are more and more refugees and petrol prices are through the roof (which makes travelling more expensive).
It is more a psychological thing: should we really do this and that, when Ukrainians are fighting for their lives. Do we have a right to enjoy ourselves in such a situation, Is it fair to travel, when refugees don’t have a choice
I so respect your sense that it’s uncomfortable to enjoy life when others suffer. But I personally don’t think that’s how life should work. Joy is hard fought for so many and when we have the opportunity to experience it, I think we should. I can’t imagine ever wanting others to limit their lives simply because mine is full of misery–for me, I’d hope that others made the most of the time they have here because who knows when it might be their turn to be miserable.
The mother of someone very close to me had a massive stroke from which she is not recovering and, once in the hospital, it was discovered she has Stage Four pancreatic cancer that has spread all over her body. This person said to me, “Go, enjoy your time with your family. Life is so unpredictable and tragedy is always suddenly, horribly, possible for all of us.” He said, “Pray for–we’ll call her Mabel–and for me, but don’t let our pain prevent you from your joy.”
I have traveled to places of great privation over the years and come from a family of historians. I think the answer is not to limit our lives a priori but to try and make the world a better place. I focus on the things I can do for the Ukrainians–donate money, raise awareness, stop supporting companies that won’t divest, write my government to open our borders to refugees.
But that’s just me and I can see that others would see my choices as selfish. And that’s fair.
If anyone would like to help Ukraine, I have a friend who is doing an amazing thing. I am sharing his FB post below–with his permission. If you’d like to contribute, email me at dabneygrinnan@allaboutromance.com and I will give you his contact info. As many of you know, I lived in Warsaw 1990 – 2000. Last Tuesday (March 8th) I came back to Poland for the first time in more than 18 years to help however I can with the Ukrainian crisis. It is simultaneously heartbreaking to see what the Ukrainians are going through and uplifting to see the massive support that Pols are providing. I have done everything from driving down to the border crossings about 4.5 hours southeast of Warsaw to bring refugees back to Warsaw, to picking up dozens of bags of aid packages at the airport, to helping refugees at Warsaw Central Train Station. There are many volunteers and like so many Europeans they speak 3, 4, 5 languages. Sometimes I feel like my contribution is less effective than theirs but I do what I can with my adequate Polish and English. The Warsaw train station was originally a short stop over for Ukrainians before being matched with housing. It still is a stop over for many. However many are now many are staying there longer and sleeping at the station as the numbers increase and it takes longer to find housing. There are hundreds and hundreds of Ukrainian grandmothers, mothers, and young children. It is emotional and heartbreaking. That said, even more heartbreaking and what emotionally hit me the hardest over the last 10 days was when I realized who was not at the train station. There are no teenage kids at the train station. In fact, I dont think i saw a Ukrainian child over 10 years old. There are no girls/women without kids. There are no older grandfathers or old men.Just mothers/grandmothers/LITTLE kids. That’s it. All the others stayed in Ukraine to defend their country. I keep thinking about my kids when they were in middle school and picture them trying to stop a Russian invasion. The relief effort here is fluid. What was originally an ad hoc/grass roots effort led by individual Pols fueled by adrenaline and huge hearts is now starting to be led by professional leadership from NGOs, local municipalities and the Polish government with a combination of volunteer and professional people doing the work. For example, hundreds and hundreds of private Polish individuals have driven tens of thousands of miles running down to border crossings to shuttle Ukrainians to cities throughout Poland. The drivers have been doing this at their own expense. People without children are going out and buying car seats (virtually every Ukrainian family coming in has kids). Fuel here is $7 to $8 per gallon. On Monday, I went to a shelter at the small border crossing in Krowica Sama to bring refugees back to Warsaw. The next day, I was driving back to Krowica Sama to pick up a Ukrainian mother and her 2 and 4 year old sons. I was about 2 hours from getting there when the shelter called and said to turn around as a bus stopped by and picked them up to take them to Warsaw. This was great news! Buses are now being organized for even the smallest border shelters like Krowica Sama. Virtually all of the border crossings have become de facto bus depots. At the bigger shelters such as in Korczowa or Przemysl there are dozen(s) of buses, organized by both the government and private aid organizations coming every hour that take Ukrainians to cities around Poland and now all over Europe.The addition of professional organization and process combined with all of the volunteers has dramatically increased what amount of aid that can be provided across the board. Similarly, private Polish citizens have been opening their homes and allowing Ukrainians to stay with them. About 1.8 million Ukrainians, approximately half of them children, have come into Poland since the invasion began. The schools are registering tens of thousands of new Ukrainian students daily. I went to temple on Friday night. At Shabbat services there was a Ukrainian woman who crossed the border on Thursday, had housing Thursday night, registered kids for school on Friday and the kids started school on Monday. I can not say enough about how much the Pols have done. As I said above, I have been going to the train station and helping as… Read more »
Dabney, I’m sorry if I led you to believe that I think you shouldn’t travel. I wish you a fantastic holiday in Portugal. Lisboa is a great place and so is Porto (albeit very different). As a historian I’m sure you’ll enjoy the Mosteiro dos Jerónimos and the monument to the Portuguese explorers in Belem.In Porto make sure you take the old tram to the coast, that is a really interesting trip. And of course enjoy a nice glass of Port wine (or two).
I too will travel to Barcelona just after easter, because I promised my nephew the trip a long time ago and now we can.
My post was more some vague musings then meant as a critique. Somehow I feel I ought to do more than just give some money, but I don’t like strangers in my house for more than a few days, I don’t speak Russian or Ukrainian … so there is a general feeling of shortcoming in me, which probably came through in my initial post.
Again, I apologize and I do hope that you make some fantastic memories on your trip.
Oh Katja, I did not feel judged by you. What I felt is that you have a large heart and want less suffering in the world. You have ABSOLUTELY nothing to apologize for you.
I learn from others every day I am alive, I hope. Your post inspired me to share the post from my friend. So thank you. <3
Can I just jump in and say that I didn’t find your comment at all judgmental, Katja. I feel very similarly to you – and frustrated when I look at the UK government’s pathetic response , but that’s another issue.
Anyway *virtual hugs*.
FWIW, Katja, I didn’t take your comment as critical of people who are planning to travel either. I, too, am desperately afraid for the people of Ukraine (and Russia); and disappointed/frustrated/angry about the events Putin has put into motion. We’ve had the same “should we or shouldn’t we” musings here that you are having.
We ultimately decided that among other ways to help, travel is one more way to keep money flowing into the economies and hands of people who are even better positioned to help Ukraine – in some very immediate, hands-on ways that we are not here in the US. Especially on top of two years of economic pain fighting Covid.
I hope your Barcelona trip is fabulous! And that the bar owners, restaurants, hotel personnel, tour guides, etc. you meet along the way will be glad to see you.