the ask@AAR: What’s your idea of a romantic meal?
Yesterday was my–gasp–32nd anniversary and to celebrate Dr. Feelgood and I ordered takeout pizza from a place that specializes in Roman inspired thin, crunchy crust pizza. I made us each a ginger martini, and we sat on our patio and talked about A Place to Call Home. It was lovely–any meal I don’t have to make is a good one–but not especially romantic. Which was fine.
If you were to ask my husband, he’d say the most romantic meal he’s ever had was a picnic I brought him in the weeks we were first dating. I’d gone to our local gourmet shop and gotten Pâté de Canard a l’Orange, Cotswold and brie cheese, raspberry jam, a baguette, chocolate truffles, and a split of champagne. He still talks about that meal to this day.
I’d say the most romantic meal we’ve ever had was at the famed Union Square Cafe, the first time he and I went to Manhattan together. It was the nicest place I’d ever eaten and absolutely everything tasted like a gift from the gods. We were in the salad days of our relationship and even the smallest things we did seemed infused with wonder.
I am rarely struck by food scenes in romance. I do love the descriptions of the pastries Maria makes in Laura Lee Guhrke’s Secret Desires of a Gentleman and, though I think it’s Sherry Thomas’ weakest romance, the meals Verity prepares in Delicious sound divine. But, other than those two, I can’t recall any meals whose description made me salivate.
How about you? What’s your idea of the perfect romantic meal? And are there meals in romance that you think are splendiferous?
I’ve been enjoying all of Jackie Lau’s romances set in Toronto. Generally they feature foods from various restaurants in Toronto or foods that the various families serve for holiday meals.
For our 10th anniversary, my husband took me to eat at The Borgata, which was at the time the newest and swankiest casino in Atlantic City. We don’t gamble and we almost never eat out that fancy, and I love to try new foods and restaurants, so that is why I knew he was taking me there as a gesture of love.
Love that!
I just remembered a book in which the meal descriptions made me positively salivate and where food helps deepen the connection between the hero and heroine – Dream Lake by Lisa Kleypas. Zoe’s cooking had a touch of magic (literally) to it, and Kleypas’ description of the food was just divine. Dream Lake is also one of the few contemporary romances that I frequently re-read.
A quote: “Because the problem with having tried something new and amazing was that you could never go back and take the same pleasure in the thing you used to enjoy. You could never erase the awareness that somewhere out there was a better experience you weren’t having. You knew you were eating a canned biscuit after you’d tried a fluffy, tender homemade one with a crisp buttered top, the whole of it split open and doused with honey.”
That’s the rare Kleypas I’ve not read. I’ll check it out. Thanks!
It’s a great book – there is a slight paranormal element, which I could have done without, but the chemistry between the hero and the heroine is electric! I also absolutely loved the heroine, she’s such a generous, warm, bubbly character.
I think it was reviewed at AAR and it received a B. I would have rated it B+/A-.
as someone who’s quite a bit younger than a lot of you here I absolutely love reading about your life experiences. i always come away with interesting recommendations or new ways to think. makes aar feel like a book club, which is especially nice since we don’t have book clubs where I live.
I think AAR is better than a book club, because there’s no pressure to read a book somebody doesn’t want to read, and you can drop in and out as you please. :)
Lovely comment, Ayesha!! You have highlighted one of the reasons I’ve been coming here since 1999. :-)
Okay my most romantic meal was in Paris with my Mother! We got caught in the rain near the Louvre and dashed into a bistro. The atmosphere was charming and we ate steak with pomme frites and a simple salad with dijon vinaigrette. We drank the most delicious Rose from Provence and then the best creme brûlée and coffee for dessert. It was magical sitting there dry and cosy watching the Paris street scene go from downpour to sparkling sunshine. It’s been twenty years and we still talk about it.
I love Paris.
My husband and I have had many romantic meals after cooking them together, but one of our most romantic meals out was in a pub in Edinburgh off the Royal Mile when we were first falling in love. It was dark and noisy and we ate the best fish and chips EVER and drank copious amounts of Scrumpy Jack and then stumbled back to my tiny flat. It was the beginning of a great summer!
I’ve spent more time in Paris than any other European city. It’s magical.
One of the coolest things our family ever did was get a tour of the INSIDE of the Eiffel Tower. Amazing. Afterwards, the six of us ate at a cafe on the river and watched the sunset. It was superb!
Last October was our 40th anniversary and we did have a purely hedonistic celebration after an otherwise busy and difficult year. We had 2 nights at The Ritz in London, champagne in the Rivoli Bar and then dining in the Michelin starred restaurant. It was lovely to dress up and enjoy the luxury and being thoroughly spoilt by the staff. A once in a life time experience and we loved every minute. The Ritz dining room itself is reckoned by some to be the most beautiful in Europe. Oh well, maybe one day…….. Back to earth and the local pub.
I am jealous. I’ve had some of the best meals of my life in London. I’ll put the Ritz on for the next time–someday!–I’m there.
Tea at The Ritz is lovely but a mad scramble and full of noise. 60 feet further down the corridor, lunch in the restaurant costs the same (plus a glass of wine and a coffee with utterly divine petit fours) and is a far nicer experience. A few of my girlfriends and I go once a year, take in an exhibition and start making plans for the following year. Sadly we had to cancel our outing this year. Roll on 2021! It’s just one of those experiences that make you feel pampered and that nothing is impossible. I hope, Dabney, you do get to try it!
My husband was a Very Good cook and an adventurous eater, so we ate out fairly often to try other versions of dishes he made and also the ones that were too complex or time consuming for a home cook. Plus these were social occasions, as we’d usually go out with friends and/or family, and I have lovely memories of good times with the people I loved shared over all kinds of food from all kinds of places. But I must say that one of the best meals I ever had was one of the simplest. It was in Florence, Italy, of food we bought at a rosticeria (not sure of the spelling) when my husband and I were on our honeymoon over 40 years ago. One of my sisters lived in Florence at the time, and the 3 of us had taken a day trip somewhere. By the time we stumbled off the train that evening, we were all exhausted, too tired to even contemplate a restaurant. So on the way back to her apartment we bought carryout roast chicken and sausages, peppers, and other veggies. Everything was so fresh and so flavorful — it was one of my first experiences of why locally raised, seasonal food can be so much better than the stuff that’s frozen and shipped half way around the world. Not that I’m not grateful for the occasional strawberry in February, but it was a lesson in why the strawberries purchased in June at a local farmers’ market are worlds better.
The most romantic trip my husband and I have ever taken was six months after we wed. We’d had a horrible honeymoon–he got Giardia and almost died–and this was the first trip we’d taken since then. We went to Florence, stayed in a pensione on the Ultrano, drank dirt cheap chianti, ate at places where the menus were only in Italian, had gelato every day, and marveled at the art. We went back ten years later and it was lovely, but not the same. I always think of it as our true honeymoon.
Aww Dabney, your ‘true’ honeymoon sounds wonderful! I’ve only been married for 3 years, and our actual honeymoon was dreadful too. My husband’s mother-in-law had a terrible accident so we had to cut our Bali trip short, and we also had food poisoning. We keep saying we want to have a ‘proper’ honeymoon, and want visit Italy again. Tuscany is by far the most romantic place we had ever been too. We had a very small budget, but we still managed to drink (as you say) dirt cheap chianti and eat at amazing local restaurants.
I meant my mother-in-law, not my husband’s mother-in-law haha
Well, the good news is that over the course of your marriage you can constantly justify taking second honeymoons because the first one sucked. I think we’ve taken ten….
The first few romance books that come to mind for food (I know I’ve read more):
The Kitchen Witch by Annette Blair
Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie
The Marriage Test by Betina Krahn
Taste for Trouble by Susan Sey
A Taste of Heaven by Penny Watson
Apples Should Be Red by Penny Watson is another good one where food is an important part of the plot (Thanksgiving dinner).
Food plays a central role in the characterization, psychology, healing of the soul, and/or livelihoods of the characters in several books by Deborah Smith (e.g., Crossroads Cafe, Biscuit Witch, etc.) and Sarah Addison Allen’s Garden Spells and related books.
I love to cook and I love to eat good food, but I don’t really think of meals as romantic. I think of them as happy, especially shared with family and friends. The most memorable use of food in romance that I remember isn’t exactly a meal. It’s the scene in Jo Beverley’s Winter Fire, when the heroine and hero have had a mock engagement that they intend to break. She thinks that he has given her the cue to do this, so she starts screaming at him and pelting him with sugarplums and other delicacies (it’s Christmas) while he’s trying to propose for real.
There’s something very romantic about a man dressed in Georgian finery dripping with sugar and syrup as he proposes.
This is a tough one.As far as food in romance, I remember two scenes but I’m not clear on where I read them. I think one is in Loretta Chase’s Captives of the Night, where Esmond in his (problematic) pursuit of Leila goes the hedonist gourmand route with silks and pillows and sumptuous cuisine. In the other book I’m thinking of, the H/h go to… I think a “cottage” in Scotland, maybe? And it’s the hero’s secret lair and they enjoy all the things he actually likes, including food. I’m sorry. That’s the vaguest of vaguery and could describe any number of books probably. OH- and Judith Ivory’s Untie My Heart, a book I will cherish forever; the sensuality of food – of everything! – is practically weaponized.
My own preferences are a little less elegant. I have had lovely meals with my husband, from the Greystone in Pottsville, PA, Spencer’s in Salt Lake City and most recent and probably most romantically, Brennan’s in New Orleans, but my favorite honestly tends to be that we order hot wings with fries and onion rings to go on Valentine’s Day every year from our favorite spot and eat after the kids go to bed, usually with Saturday Night Live on. Laughing with him is my favorite version of romance, and frankly I think as you get older and grow with your person it tends to look less like flowers and candlelight and more like the comfort of knowing love doesn’t diminish just because you’ve got buffalo sauce all over your face.
I love this so much. Thank you for sharing!
What a sweet tradition!
When our children were young we couldn’t afford babysitters, so we rarely went out. Once my oldest was old enough to leave with her four younger siblings during the day, my husband and I established our Saturday lunch date. In the beginning we went where ever we could afford or had coupons for, and we sat and talked for an hour WITH NO INTERRUPTIONS. It was wonderful.
As our kids got older and our budget bigger, our Saturday lunch dates ended at better places than fast food, and we could take longer. We kept the tradition up for almost 20 years, but it mostly died out when I had to go to work and worked most weekends. Now with Covid, it’s officially dead. Maybe we’ll resurrect it once we start eating out again. But even if we don’t, the Saturday date was a big bright spot in our week and a guaranteed time for connection between me and my husband when we needed it most.
One great thing we learned as our lunch date budget increased was that we could get smaller portions of the same great foods at nice restaurants for lunch at a lower price than at dinner.
We had a similar tradition–we went out for dinner every Sunday night until our youngest kids were in high school! We’d go to cheap local places, split appetizers, and NOT BE PARENTS for 90 minutes. I think it’s one reason our marriage survived four kids in five years!
My most memorable meal was at Nobu in Mykonos Greece. It was just perfect. We dined outside. The food, wine, ambiance, and weather was incredible. It was an expense meal but worth every penny. My husband and I always reminisce about it. We have been to Nobu in NYC and DC but it’s not the same. The food is always wonderful but it’s not romantic.
We ate at Nobu in NYC once and it didn’t blow me away. It was a work dinner–I was thrilled someone else was paying–but the food was just too fussy for me.
Probably the best meal we’ve ever had in terms of sheer gustatory joy was Mr. & Mrs. Bund in Shanghai–I think Kristen will back me up here. It was just astonishing. And, like your experience in Mykonos, the ambiance was amazing.
the view from our table
I think the most romantic meals are the ones you enjoy the most which is why places or meals that are a surprise are some of the most memorable- and why your husband likely remembers your picnic so fondly.
I certainly enjoy a fancy meal at an elegant restaurant, but so many times there’s so much planning, dressing and preparation that goes into an expensive night out or an event. And then there are the expectations that are built up, if something is off or is less than you anticipated you start thinking about the money and time rather than the experience.
I think the most romantic meals where the ones where you would stumble onto a great place or just because the evening or conversation was so great in addition to the food. Finding an Irish inspired inn/pub with delicious homemade scones (served as the house “rolls”) on a cold Autumn day was wonderful. I’ll never forget how delightful it was to walk in and find a fire going in the fireplace after a morning and early afternoon walking out in the chilly air with the fall leaves on the ground. The food was great and we had a cozy booth. It was completely unplanned and such a great day.
I so agree. Dr. Feelgood and I had just arrived in Copenhagen–we’d flown in from the Eastern US Coast. We were tired and starving and we found a hamburger place that had the best truffle fries I’ve ever had. We sat there, at the bar, talking to the owner/chef, and, when I think about that meal today, my heart swells.
I suffer from being more practical than romantic, I fear. Paying large amounts of money for food makes me twitchy. That said, however, one of the most memorable meals I’ve had was a date to an historic Inn in Kennett Square,PA. I was dating a young man with the same birthday as me, and we celebrated with a really long, lovely 5 course meal and wonderful wine. The rooms were small, with only 4 to 6 tables, and there was a waiter and an assistant in each room. It was leisurely and so much fun. Most of the diners were there until close, and as it got later, we started a chat between the tables and shared wine. It really was one of the best eating out times of my life. About a month later I moved the NC to start work and we mutually decided not to try the long distance thing.
My husband and I met while on a camping trip with mutual friends. We took a hike together and when we got back to camp,everyone else had left for a while and locked everything up. We scrounged and found some snacks and soda, and ate while we continued to get to know each other. Three weeks later we were engaged and five months later we were married, so I’d say that sparse picnic was one of our most romantic meals. We’ll be married 37 years this coming January.
Descriptions of food in books isn’t a big deal to me, and in fact, I generally skim any details of cooking, etc. that don’t directly pertain to the plot. That’s mainly because I really don’t like cooking. Someone once said if they could hire one helper around the house they’d get a house cleaner. I would hire someone to plan, shop, and make meals even if it was spaghetti and burgers. I’d gladly clean up after them and clean the house!
I really like to cook. The bit I dislike is actually working out what to cook. I ask for suggestions from the rest of the household and the responses are usually… unhelpful!
Now that the kids are gone, we’re past that–Dr. Feelgood will eat ANYTHING. But when the kids were home and I’d ask what they wanted they would say Bojangles. Not helpful.
Cooking for 5 kids with varying personal tastes was a challenge. In my house at the moment I have one (mostly) vegetarian, another that needs lots of salt, low sugar and can’t digest some things (she has POTS), one that has intolerances to most fruits and vegies, gluten, beans, dairy, and other things, and a husband on WW maintenance. The POTsie and oldest need meat, youngest will eat some dairy and chicken, but no beef or pork. Thankfully the oldest, with the myriad intolerance issues, cooks for herself. My husband helps cook, and actually did the majority of it when I was working full-time retail. We rotate through a list of dishes most of us can eat, and then celebrate about once a week with sushi, which everyone eats but me. I’m just happy not to cook those nights.
I love to cook. I just hate to prep. My perfect helper would chop all the veggies, peel the skin off the chicken, de-bone the fish and depit the fruit. Once all the ingredients were ready, I’d be thrilled!
I once took a cooking class that was like that. You did the actual cooking but the ingredients were all prepared so no grunt work. I felt like the host of a cooking show on tv with lovely glass dishes of the components ready to sauté mix and add. Quite a difference from spending a hour peeling, julienning and scraping before you been begin.
I don’t mind the prep, what I hate is the clean-up!
We have a rule in our house–whomever cooks does not clean!
I get twitchy, too, about spending a lot of money on upscale meals at restaurants. Hubby is a pretty good cook (far better than I am), so we can create meals at home just as nice and pay far less for for them.
I met my husband through work. We had been to happy hours together, but I don’t count those as first dates. On our first date, we were supposed to go to the lake, but it rained that day so we stopped by the grocery store and bought food to fix at his apartment that night. He bought apples from some boy scouts, too. He made me shrimp scampi and apple pie. That’s my most memorable meal. He’s the one who usually makes our holiday dinners, too. Lucky me.
In books, I more often than not find the intimate, get-to-know-you dinners more romantic than Harlequin Presents style where the billionaire whisks his woman off to some exotic or upscale locale just because he can and wants to impress her with his money. I think I’ve read too many of those.
In college, I had my heart utterly broken by a philosophy grad student who, on our first date, invited me for dinner at his tiny apartment and made me Cornish game hens. I was agog.
That’s pretty impressive!
This was in 1983!!!! I’d never even seen a Cornish game hen!
That was probably his signature dish!
I have three boys and these are their signature dishes. Kid 1: Roasted chicken stuffed with root vegetables in a Dutch oven and Greek salad. He’s had the same girlfriend for awhile now but she told me last summer that before she met him she had heard all about his roasted chicken dinners from other coeds. Kid 2: He’s like me and uses simple spaghetti dishes to woo and Kid 3: He’s like his Dad and builds incredible sandwiches. His girlfriend told me he took her on this challenging hike and when she was at the point of killing him he whips out the most incredible sandwich she’s ever had and cold cider. It’s hard when your children become sexual.
I was mad about this guy in college and I wooed him with spaghetti dishes cooked on a hot plate, he broke my heart when he decided to moved to Australia for better surfing.
This is SO funny. I have three sons and I wager none of them has a signature dish. One is currently single, one has a girlfriend who doesn’t eat any desserts but adores junk food (she’d live on mac and cheese) and the other and his girlfriend live in NYC and just get takeout.
I do remember one of my daughter’s exs wooed her with homemade pizza split down the middle–veggie for her and meat for him. She was SO impressed.
Fancy food and fancy settings make me nervous. I always stress about whether or not I’m enjoying it enough to justify the price. I also feel pressure for big “event” meals.
If I could snap my fingers and be anywhere in the world eating anything, for a special event, I’d probably want to spend the evening eating kaiten (conveyor belt) sushi. It’s so much fun.
I’ve done that once and it was fun. I love conveyor belt dining–there are a few places in Manhattan that offer it and it’s always a blast. Thanks for reminding me of it!
I’m tempted to say “one I don’t have to cook myself”! I’ve come across some delicious sounding things in romances recently, but while I’m someone who enjoys good food, I can’t recall anytihng that I’ve immediately gone and looked up a recipe for.
Congrats on the anniversary! Mr. Caz and I are coming up on 30 years (in Jan – although that’s not the anniversary of our wedding; that came 8 years later!)