On “Say Yes to the Dress”

I’ve watched almost no reality TV. I watched the finals of the first four seasons of American Idol, some scenes from the two Survivor seasons my niece’s husband was on, and the episodes of The Voice when a kid who went to school with my twins performed. I’ve never seen a cooking show, a home show, or a this family is completely crazy show.

Today, as part of an assignment for a journalism class I’m taking, I’m going watch two episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and live blog as I do. (Live blogging means I’ll be writing in real time as the show runs.) I picked this show because a wedding is so often part of the HEA we love in romance. I’ve read descriptions of hundreds of wedding dresses in the books but other than planning my own (I wore an altered version of my grandmother’s dress.) and going with my sister when she picked out hers, I’ve never been privy to the process.

As I began to prepare for this blog, I tried to recall memorable romance novel dresses. Do any come to mind to you? (published at 2:45)

While waiting for the show to start, I searched our site for wedding dress. Lots of hits came up but none were in reviews. My most recent memory of a wedding dress in a book was in Sonali Dev’s The Bollywood Bride. (Sonali and I talked about the fabulous saris in the book in this interview.) (published at 2:58)

And, OK, the show has begun. I can tell that the show’s set in Manhattan because they just showed a shot of a sign for 42nd Street and of course there’s only one of those in the US, right?

Today’s show is about Melissa who has worked at the boutique for the past year. I’m a little confused why she’d have a show about choosing a dress–hasn’t she figured that out by now? She plans to spend 10K or more on her dress. She says she wants a dress by Panina. (That turned out to be Pnina Tornai.)

Melissa apparently has an “incredible body” and so she looks great–they say–in the first dress. That dress looked very very puffy to me and had a huge–the size of a toddler–bow on the side.

OK, so maybe the show follows two brides? Now’s there’s a woman named Stella whose Greek family is there with her. Her dad wants her to wear a dress that makes her look like a Greek god. Athena? 

This confuses me. (published at 3:07)

I wonder who watches this show? Women of all ages? The ads have been for the Peanuts movie, Sketchers shoes, The Mattress Store, and a slim line of Depends.  (published at 3:12)

Dress Two for Melissa looks great on her but she says it’s not how she pictured herself as a bride.

Switch to Stella, the Greek bride, who is now wearing “an avant garde wedding dress” that has a crazy crazy back. Her sister said it looked like a mullet: Work in the front and party at the back. The dress was rejected quickly. Stella now loves Dress Three and now there is a theme. Stella’s family and the bridal consultant differ in opinions. And, for whatever reason, Stella can’t pick a dress she likes unless her rather bitchy sister likes it too. Poor Stella. If she were a romance heroine, she’d straighten her shoulders and tell her sister, “Sis, this is my day and I need to pick my own dress.” and the sister would realized she was just jealous and the wedding would happen and the sister would drown her sorrows and end up sleeping with the groom’s best friend–he’s a fireman?–and a new romance would begin. (published at 3:18)

Melissa is trying on her third dress which cost 26K. 26K!!!!! It’s quite a dress–very fitted through the hips and then a huge skirt made up of a bunch of roses. Melissa loves this dress and, despite that it’s 16K more than her budget (if I were her groom to-be, I’d worry about this). Melissa can, however, get the employee discount which they don’t tell us what it is. If it’s 50% off, which I doubt, it would be 13K which is, I guess, better.

Now there’s a third bride who is marrying a guy named Ralph in a hotel in Fort Lauderdale I used to drive by when I went to work.

And, we’re back to Stella. So, the wedding consultant has decided the answer to the family/Stella problem is to let the family pick Stella’s dress. I now feel really sorry for Stella. (published 3:23)

I had no idea there were so many reality shows. This is the TLC channel. I’ve seen ads for a show about a very overweight woman’s love life, a show about a family with seven kids, a show called Sister Wives–is this about sisters who marry brothers?– and a show about a coach.

And we’re back with Carly, the bride who is there just for her fitting. This is another dress with a huge bottom. Is that the look this year? Carly and her mom are in an argument over whether or not Carly should wear a veil. Again, it seems weird to me that the bride isn’t the decider.

Stella is trying on a dress her family picked out for her. Stella loves it because it makes her family so happy.  The bridal consultant just said “Family knows best.” And Stella said “Yes.” This one only costs 2600. That seems wildly reasonable. The dress makes Stella look a big dumpy if you ask me, but Stella says she’s happy. I want to send her Jill Shalvis books.

Carly overruled her mom about the veil, though. So, that’s one sane bride out of three.

And that’s the first show. The appeal of this is still escaping me. (published at 3:29)

We’re in the bridal salon on 42nd Street. There are three bride here who don’t have an opinion on what they want. The first girl named Farrah who has brought five women to help her. She wants to look as perfect as possible. Her friends say Farrah is very picky. Farrah says her price range in 2K. She’s marrying groom Jose who she loves because “he can put up with me.” The bridal consultants find Farrah a challenge because all she says is what she doesn’t like.

So, we’re now with Stephanie who knows just what she wants. Stephanie has brought her mother and her mother in law to be. Brave woman. Stephanie’s price point is between 3K and 5K. She’s paying for her own dress. She wants to look “vintage glam.” Stephanie is first trying on a dress she loves parts of but just doesn’t know. Apparently Stephanie has a dream dress but isn’t sure it’s right for her so she’s trying on other dresses. If this theme of helplessness in the face of the dress choice is a constant on the show, the show would drive me crazy. (published 3:37)

Stephanie is now trying on what she hopes was is the dress of her dreams. It’s not. She says it makes her feel matronly. It’s not the dress.

Farrah is decisive–she’s yet to try on a single dress because she hates them all. She’s a tough candidate. They talk her into trying on a dress she dislikes. She says it looks too wedding like. I like Farrah. She shows her friends Dress One just because why? She tries on Dress Two which she doesn’t think is “ugly.” Her friends like it sorta.

Stephanie is now trying on other dresses. Dress Three has a skirt made of feathers with a very embellished bodice. First Stephanie loves it. Then, she wonders if it’s too much and starts crying. Crying! I think I misunderstood the point of this show. I thought it would be to show viewers brides they’d be happy for. Now I think it’s to show brides we can feel superior to. Not only are most of these women unable to think for themselves, they’re spending a small fortune to do so.  (published 3:48)

We’re back to Stephanie and her tears. Her friends tell her it’s the perfect dress for her. Stephanie says yes to the dress which is 5300. We’re done with her which makes me glad.

Now we have a bride with Leila who is from Alaska. She’s gay! There are two brides. Stephanie says they’ve come to NYC to marry because they can’t in Alaska. (This show must be from several years ago.) Only Leila is trying on wedding dresses. Leila’s first dress was hideous and rejected by all. Dress Two is also a no-go.

And here’s Farrah whose look the wedding consultant feels he’s gotten. Will Farrah agree? The camera pans away. And it’s an ad for Sister Wives which is apparently a show about a polygamist family. Isn’t that illegal? How can there be a show? (published 3:54)

Farrah likes this dress somewhat. Her lack of enthusiasm is noticeable. Her friends are thrilled–they are ready to move on. Farrah is buying this dress because it will be easy to accessorize. Huh.

Leila still doesn’t have a dress. (Is it weird that Leila is a bride but not Stephanie?) Leila finds a dress she loves. They show her and Stephanie getting married at the Empire State Building. Stephanie looks glam in a tux. Out of all the brides I watched today, Leila, the is the only one who picked her dress without significant input from others. Maybe it’s more a right of passage for straight brides to have an entourage who weigh in? (published at 4:03)

And I’m done. Say Yes to the Dress didn’t do a thing for me. I’m all for marriage and happy brides but on this show the emphasis on an expensive dress makes getting married seem so commercial. Is there a reality show that is genuinely romantic?

I did go back and find the pictures of some of the brides. These two episodes were from Season Eight in 2012.

(I spelled Lela’s name wrong!)

Lela and Stephanie.

Stephanie (of the feathered dress)

Farrah (without her accessories)

Stella (Would Athena wear this?)

Melissa (this is the dress but not her)

I think all the brides would have been better served by Jenny, the wedding dress designer in Kristan Higgin’s latest If You Only Knew. Certainly I enjoyed reading that book more than I enjoyed this show!