WHY ROMANCE? A guest post by Alexandra Y. Caluen
Romance novels, and romance writers, still get a lot of no respect. Why would any self-respecting, trained historian with a fairly intellectual job choose to write romance, knowing that a lot of people – even people who read romances – scoff at it?
Well, personally, because it’s fun. It’s fun to write love stories. It’s fun to come up with two characters and plop them into an imagined environment and see what happens. And also:
It’s important.
Why on earth would I make that claim? Is not a fictional love story the most trivial thing in the world?
NO.
Because a happy intimate relationship is one of the best indicators of healthy long life.
Because the desire for a happy intimate relationship is embedded in our genes.
Because the drama associated with intimate relationships drives most great literature, never mind the 140-page paperbacks you used to find at the supermarket checkout.
And because the choice of a mate is often, if not always, the single most important choice most people make in life.
Especially in a historical context, but not much less so now. Who you choose to marry and have children with (or not) has a weight of consequence that is ignored only by the foolish. The choice of mate can still be, in many cultures including our own, a matter of life and death. Even now, when conventional marriage is no longer seen as the only acceptable form, the uncoupled person is often viewed as somehow less-than. The person (especially the woman, because we always get the heavy end of the judgement stick) who never achieves a successful intimate relationship is seen, nearly everywhere, with pity not unmixed with scorn.
So even though I started reading mysteries long before I started reading romance, even though I still read at least one mystery or science-fiction or fantasy novel to every romance novel, my personal preference is for literature – of all genres – that does not shy away from the importance of the intimate relationship. I have a hard time engaging with books in which a loving relationship is not central to the main characters’ lives.
As I get older, I’m consciously using the guaranteed happy ending of a romance novel to fill in blanks in my own life. I don’t enjoy books in which terrible things that happen to the main characters are unresolved. In which those characters are left at the point of failure, loss, or tragedy. If I like the characters, I want to feel as though those characters are going to be alright. (If I don’t like the characters, I don’t finish the book.) A lot of us read romance because we need to see things work out well. When real life is not giving us happy endings, looking for them in our literature is perfectly legitimate. I’m giving my characters successes I haven’t had. Letting them achieve things I missed out on.
If you’re writing with any realism, of course bad things are going to happen. People get sick, lose jobs, break up with their lovers. I’ve found myself doing bad things to my characters. The series I’m writing has a timeline from 2000 to 2020; that’s much too much time for everybody’s life to go perfectly. And with over a hundred characters, it’s statistically unlikely that nobody’s going to run into trouble.
But these are romances. Even the people who run into trouble are going to find happiness eventually, or again.
Will I turn around one day and say to myself: Self, you need to write a Serious Novel? It’s possible. It’s possible that I will continue my current trend of getting more serious about the issues my characters have. It’s also possible that I will get more and more frivolous over the years. I have yet to see a study finding a connection between portentousness and happiness. In my observation, those who frolic have a lot more fun in life. It’s possible to frolic while still being responsible. And that’s just what I intend to do.
I’ve always thought Romance’s reputation suffers as a genre because it is so uniquely female driven, both in its writers and consumers. It always reminded me of the quote by Virginia Woolf-
“Speaking crudely, football and sport are “important”; the worship of fashion, the buying of clothes “trivial.” And these values are inevitably transferred from life to fiction. This is an important book, the critic assumes, because it deals with war. This is an insignificant book because it deals with the feelings of women in the drawing room. A scene in a battlefield is more important than a scene in a shop—everywhere and much more subtly the difference of value persists.”
Romance has always been undervalued because it deals with the “feelings of women in the drawing room” or the feelings of women at all.
But that is what makes me love Romance novels. It is all about feelings, and often women’s feelings-examining them, understanding them and celebrating them.
Those were the parts of other books that I often loved the most, that I would read over and over again. When Laura Ingalls agreed to marry Almanzo, when Anne finally realized her love for Gilbert or that wonderful, heart felt letter from Captain Wentworth to Anne. I think falling in love is the most optimistic thing a person can do, and often the bravest.
I think it’s sad that romances command something like 50% of the paperback market but many of us, myself included, embraced Kindles and e-readers partly because we didn’t want the funny or disapproving looks when we read them in public.
I know for years Romance Novels have been a big joke, laughed at as the silliest and most foolish kind of “trash” that “bored housewives” and “naive girls” consume but for me it feels like a purely feminist action (apart from my pure enjoyment of them) to give my money to female authors who examine and revel in “women’s feelings.”
I would really love to know if male readership of romances has gone up thanks to e-readers. There must be some statistician somewhere who needs that for a research project!
“I think falling in love is the most optimistic thing a person can do, and often the bravest.” – you are absolutely right!
Great quotes and examples, Chrisreader.
And here’s another insult I’ve heard of the romance and erotica genres- “mommy porn.” I love that romance novelist who sat on a panel and said in retort, “Well, don’t mommies deserve orgasms too?” Good for her, and LOL!
Very well said, said Chrisreader. I hadn’t yet posted on this thread and your comments have saved me the trouble. Perfect summation and 100% agree.
You said it right.
“Because the drama associated with intimate relationships drives most great literature”
“And because the choice of a mate is often, if not always, the single most important choice most people make in life.”
Thank you so much for your post! You articulate romance’s popularity with readers so well. In addition, you help to explain why there is such diversity within the genre. Despite the popular criticism that “all romances are the same” and “it’s just the same story over and over again”, romance readers know that pretty much every other “genre” resides within romances. I can handle pretty much anything a writer throws at me setting- and plot-wise, as long as I know the characters will survive it. (Except Gothic romances. Because I generally don’t enjoy “horror” fiction either.)
Thank you for reading & commenting! Glad you enjoyed this. There is tremendous diversity, especially now. I’ve found myself reading (and writing!) things that would never have crossed my radar ten years ago. :-)
Yes, thank you for taking time to share your view of the place for romance in our world. I have been a prolific reader since I was about 7, read a lot of books that were beyond my age. I can still remember crying as I read War and Peace, I was 10. I only discovered romance when I was pregnant for the first time at 28. I developed a heart condition during the pregnancy and to keep my heart at a safe rhythm, I needed to avoid all stress. I found reading romance was the key to calm. So now facing retirement, divorced, alone but not quite lonely I choose to read romance as it brings back such sweet memories of being in love and knowing that once I was loved.
oh mercy, War and Peace at 10?! I applaud you and I sympathize. I still haven’t tried to read that one. Here’s to sweet memories, hope, and stress-avoidance. <3
Thanks for the article, Alexandra. I love hearing about fellow authors’ motivations, thought processes, and other behind the scenes info.
“It’s possible that I will get more and more frivolous over the years.” Go for it. Frankly, I think the world could use more frivolity. So much entertainment is so dark these days whether depressing books or miniseries. And I can’t slog through most literary fiction, particularly “classics,” because as one AAR commenter once said, “It’s like biting into a giant vitamin pill rather than fun.”
My journey to romance wasn’t typical. I was originally sniffing out get rich quick schemes before I realized that, yes, romance is legitimate rather than hack work. But the promise of an HEA drew me in, more so than the central romance actually. I find it comforting like the old “Star Trek” or “Bonanza” in that no matter what happens to the main characters, you know in the end that they will all be okay for the next adventure. Apparently that’s considered childish. I say, “So what?” With a few exceptions, I don’t like downers.
By the way, do you self-publish or use a traditional publisher? Your covers are great, have a nice aesthetic.
Thanks for reading! I am right with you on literary fiction. :-) I’ve been self-publishing since 2012 – the cover design in use now was created by my awesomesauce sister/marketing guru. I will pass on the compliment!
Thanks for writing back. I had a feeling you self-published, and I mean this as a great compliment. Some of the product descriptions I read of your work have a free spirit about them. They’re the kinds of interesting stories that wouldn’t fit well into romance industry standard boxes (thank God!) Good luck to you from one self-pubber to another!
Your sister is a talented artist/marketing guru. I’m glad you’re passing along the word to keep up the good work.
On a side note, I noticed the Amazon description of A Braid of Love says the story is “M/F/M,” but the same description on your website says “M/M/F.” Just speaking as an erotica writer, you might want to change the Amazon description to “M/M/F” so readers are aware at a glance that the men hook up with each other. :)