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Good Music, Terrible Message

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I’ve had “Love The Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rhianna stuck in my head lately.  I’m not a fan of Eminem’s rapping style, but Rhianna’s part is compelling.

The thing is… the song’s lyrics are awful.  Not awful as in poorly written, but awful in its references to domestic violence.  “If she ever tries to leave again/ I’ma f—ing tie her to the bed/and set this house on fire.”  Sort of terrifying.

It sort of makes me feel guilty for liking the song.  Do you ever feel that way?  Are there songs you like listening to, despite offensive lyrics?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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Royce Croner
Royce Croner
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11/02/2011 3:08 am

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Missie
Missie
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09/02/2010 9:13 pm

Donna, you’re right — the Dixie Chicks do make it be rather more of a satire…I just can’t find myself to be disturbed by it, ‘though I know many are.

xina, I think you hit the nail on the head that it’s important to talk with your kids about what they see and how they interpret it…open, honest, frank talk isn’t done enough in families/relationships, I don’t think. :-(

JaneAAR…yeah, that Underwood song is just CATCHY…seeps into your pores before you even realize it.

Keri C
Keri C
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09/02/2010 4:31 pm

I hate to say this because I’m not the biggest Eminem or Rhianna fan, but this is poetry. The message is 100% anti abuse. It’s taking you into the thought process of an abuser and an enabler, male or female. It’s about the lies that abusers tell themselves to justify what they are doing or how they lie to themselves saying that they will never do it again. Without help or counseling, it is hard to break that cycle because you don’t have tools, only lies. This is a powerful song with a powerful message, you have to understand it first and then explain it to kids/teens. My kids are teens and they completely GET the song because I explained it to one of them, my 14 year old totally understood all of the nuances on his own. Simple. When they hear it (in every store that we walk into on earth) I don’t cringe at all. BTW, my 12 year old daughter explained it to her friend the other day and her friend was like, “Um, I get it, it’s called sarcasm, the guy keeps lying to himself but he’s a monster.” These tweens are not us (from the 80’s) they live in a more sophisticated, sarcastic, and brutal world and they can learn from things in a different way. :-)

katyco
katyco
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08/25/2010 1:20 pm

It’s sad that a lot of 13 – 16 year old girls are going to think this song is cool and most of them won’t talk to their parents about it. And let’s face it, if E & R weren’t making a boatload of money, nobody would care about the message.

xina
xina
Guest
08/23/2010 10:22 am

Well, I think the lyrics are supposed to be disturbing. I think her side of it shows that even when women are abused, they still stay. His part shows that he doesn’t want to hit and abuse her, but does anyway even though he fights with himself over it. I think the song is very sad, but very revealing as to what an abusive relationship is. My children are not young anymore and do get what he is trying to convey, but young teenagers? I don’t know. I think I’d have to talk about it with them. It is a very disturbing song, but very meaningful in a way.

Sandy AAR
Sandy AAR
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08/20/2010 6:28 pm

Kids don’t get subtleties or irony. And the real intention of this video is going to go right over their heads. It is incredibly disturbing to hear Rhianna sing ” I love the way it hurts.”

Donna Lea Simpson
Donna Lea Simpson
Guest
08/20/2010 10:52 am

Mack the Knife anyone?

And the song about spending all his money… IIRC, was it by Blu Cantrell, Hit ‘Em Up Style?

And… Goodbye Earl seems to ‘pass’ because it strikes me like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon, and also, the abuser is the one killed! Doesn’t make it right, but the Dixie Chicks sure make it funny!

Ellen AAR
Ellen AAR
Guest
08/20/2010 10:10 am

It’s been that way since – oh – forever. A lot of the old murder ballads feature violence against women. How about these lyrics:

Poor Ellen Smith
How was she found
Shot through the heart lyin’ dead on the ground
Her body was mangled and all cast around
And X marks the spot where Poor Ellen was found

The Rolling Stones had a poster for Black and Blue featuring a woman bound up and bruised and saying, “I’m black and blue from the Rolling Stones and I love it”

Eminem is back? Bleh!

kathy
kathy
Guest
08/19/2010 11:18 pm

It is beyond my comprehension how all these songs about violence and degradation toward women are even allowed on the airways!

maggie b.
maggie b.
Guest
08/19/2010 11:10 pm

My song is “Loser” by Beck/Glee. Great tune till you hear your teenagers belting out “I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

Missie
Missie
Guest
08/19/2010 5:32 pm

And BTW, I’m not generally into country music…but that Underwood song was played EVERYWHERE, it seems…and there’s something about the Dixie Chicks that I just like.

Missie
Missie
Guest
08/19/2010 5:30 pm

That song by Carrie Underwood that was so popular — “Before He Cheats.” I would find myself bobbing my head along to it, and even my hubby would bob his head along to it…and then I listened to the lyrics and though “How awful and despicable, the vengeful destruction of property!” If the roles in the song were reversed — a man keying and destroying his cheating partner’s vehicle — it wouldn’t go over so well…either way, and no matter what the circumstances, I find the message of vengeful property destruction disturbing.

However, I’m rather contradictory in that I do like the Dixie Chicks “Goodbye Earl.”

Contradictions are what make us humans interesting, though, eh?

Lynda X
Lynda X
Guest
08/19/2010 2:51 pm

I thought what was most interesting about the video was the fact that the woman hits the man first and I really thought that Eminem nailed the abuser’s feelings. In the video, BOTH are abusers, which I think we overlook a lot. I found the repetition that the heroine sings that she LIKES the abuse to be disturbing. The video did an excellent job, IMO, of showing what happens in an abusive relationship: that the woman fights and hits too (often in the beginning of the fight), the honeymoon period, the regret and self-loathing of the abuser who has a lot of self-knowledge here.

Lynn M
Lynn M
Guest
08/19/2010 1:09 pm

I had the exact same reaction. I was in the car and the song came on and I was thinking how much I liked it. I guessed pretty quickly that it must be Eminem because he always sounds so angry when he’s rapping. But then I started to listen to the actual lyrics and I was horrified. They are just so awful. Next time I heard the song was when my kids (tweens) were in the car and we discussed that fact – that it was a cool song musically but pretty awful when you listened to the actual words.