Good Music, Terrible Message

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I hate to say this because I’m not the biggest Eminem or Rhianna fan, but this is poetry. The message is 100% anti abuse. It’s taking you into the thought process of an abuser and an enabler, male or female. It’s about the lies that abusers tell themselves to justify what they are doing or how they lie to themselves saying that they will never do it again. Without help or counseling, it is hard to break that cycle because you don’t have tools, only lies. This is a powerful song with a powerful message, you have to understand it first and then explain it to kids/teens. My kids are teens and they completely GET the song because I explained it to one of them, my 14 year old totally understood all of the nuances on his own. Simple. When they hear it (in every store that we walk into on earth) I don’t cringe at all. BTW, my 12 year old daughter explained it to her friend the other day and her friend was like, “Um, I get it, it’s called sarcasm, the guy keeps lying to himself but he’s a monster.” These tweens are not us (from the 80’s) they live in a more sophisticated, sarcastic, and brutal world and they can learn from things in a different way. :-)

Well, I think the lyrics are supposed to be disturbing. I think her side of it shows that even when women are abused, they still stay. His part shows that he doesn’t want to hit and abuse her, but does anyway even though he fights with himself over it. I think the song is very sad, but very revealing as to what an abusive relationship is. My children are not young anymore and do get what he is trying to convey, but young teenagers? I don’t know. I think I’d have to talk about it with them. It is a very disturbing song, but very meaningful in a way.

Mack the Knife anyone?

And the song about spending all his money… IIRC, was it by Blu Cantrell, Hit ‘Em Up Style?

And… Goodbye Earl seems to ‘pass’ because it strikes me like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon, and also, the abuser is the one killed! Doesn’t make it right, but the Dixie Chicks sure make it funny!

It is beyond my comprehension how all these songs about violence and degradation toward women are even allowed on the airways!

That song by Carrie Underwood that was so popular — “Before He Cheats.” I would find myself bobbing my head along to it, and even my hubby would bob his head along to it…and then I listened to the lyrics and though “How awful and despicable, the vengeful destruction of property!” If the roles in the song were reversed — a man keying and destroying his cheating partner’s vehicle — it wouldn’t go over so well…either way, and no matter what the circumstances, I find the message of vengeful property destruction disturbing.

However, I’m rather contradictory in that I do like the Dixie Chicks “Goodbye Earl.”

Contradictions are what make us humans interesting, though, eh?

I thought what was most interesting about the video was the fact that the woman hits the man first and I really thought that Eminem nailed the abuser’s feelings. In the video, BOTH are abusers, which I think we overlook a lot. I found the repetition that the heroine sings that she LIKES the abuse to be disturbing. The video did an excellent job, IMO, of showing what happens in an abusive relationship: that the woman fights and hits too (often in the beginning of the fight), the honeymoon period, the regret and self-loathing of the abuser who has a lot of self-knowledge here.