Eyerollers and Wallbangers
After reading Rike’s hilarious blog on phrases we never see in romance novels and then all the other great additions by AAR readers, I started thinking about what brings me out of the story, and what I will accept. I wish that there was another saying, but suspending disbelief, overused as it is, explains exactly what problem we have as readers. It is readers’ shorthand for saying, “This plot device or action is just too ridiculous for me to believe.”
Wouldn’t authors, publishers, editors, etc. love a master plan of situations that readers can and cannot accept. Item number 489: heroine and hero on the run from bad guys, overcome by lust so they make love by the waterfall; classification: unbelievable. Of course nothing is that simple. Part of an author’s skill is making unbelievable, believable. For me, if an author can make me laugh, then I tend to suspend disbelief, but if the author is going for the more serious, dramatic vein, then I am a lot more critical. It is just almost impossible for me to go with the flow if an author uses certain plot devices. To get things started, here are a few things that tend to drive me crazy:
1. Heroine and hero making love, while a child is missing or in danger. Come on really! I just can’t imagine any mother feeling like sex when worried about her child.
2. Hero and Heroine making love while on the run from bad guys! (variation of item # 1)
3. Ethics related to career. While I know that people break the rules all the times, I tend to want my heroine and hero to be better than that. So if they are a doctor, lawyer, accountant, minister, etc…, then I want them to be bound by the ethics of their profession
4. Love heals everything! I know readers really vary on this one, but I don’t want to be bogged down in a lot of angst and while I do believe that love and support win the day, things like the miraculous and sudden curing of mental health issues lie beyond my ability to accept.
5. Infidelity. Authors are being more creative and writing scenarios that are much closer to gray then black and white. I have read several books where the heroine or hero is in a relationship with someone else, and then has sex with his/her love interest. Even if I still like the book, it still gives me pause,
Now any of the above do get eye rolls, and some can turn a book into a wall-banger. It depends on the author, and her skill in writing the scenario, the placement of the scene, if I continue reading or not. Some situations bother me so much, that I find myself vowing not to read the author again. For an example of this, I once read the following book: Heroine and hero have been best friends since college. Heroine is married and supposedly in love with her husband. Her husband dies and on the day of his funeral, the heroine and hero make love.
Do you have a plot device that takes you out of the story every time? Is there a certain one that makes a book a wall banger? Is there a certain scene that is seared into your long term memory as just too outrageous?
– Leigh Davis
My personal pet peeve is historicals that are 21st century politically correct, while set in the 18th or 19th century. Pulls me out every time, and is guaranteed to be a wallbanger. Especially those that have the heroine dressing as a maid/servant/housekeeper for whatever reason, then mouthing off about female/employee/racial rights to the lord of the manor. Stops the story immediately, and then I start hoping that she is let off without a character, so that the story goes NOWHERE.
The other one is when one of the main characters undergoes a “”personality transplant”” halfway through the book, with no real explanation for why said transfiguration occurred. Bugs me.
Em, no worries, I wasn’t offended at all, that’s why I put a smiley in there :-)
Tacilija wrote: “” Em, I agree with you completely – messed up languages are my pet peeve, too.
As a Serbo-Croatian speaker, I don’t think it is an obscure language ;-) )) but it is true that not many people speak it – compared to English…or Russian. On the other hand, I cannot tell you how many times I heard in movies (and on TV) supposedly Russian bad guys speak Serbo-Croatian.””
LOL, Tacilija! I used “”Serbo-Croatian”” only as an example of a language that would be obscure to the average American, no offense intended! I’m from an Eastern European (and thereafter, a very polyglot) background as well, so I do know the difference between many of those languages. Funny you should mention hearing Serbo-Croatian as supposedly Russian–my point about laziness exactly! I just feel that an author could easily get some guidance on correctly transcribing a simple phrase or two in a foreign language–unless he or she is not interested enough to bother.
Tacilija, I would agree with you about the language but since I found at least two typos on my posts, I don’t have a leg to stand on. (grin)
Mingqu, sometimes I do feel that authors feels pressure to insert a love scene within the first 50 pages. . . And it so not necessary to me, if it doesn’t make sense.
Cora, it depends on the book if workplace romances work for me. . . A serious, suspend filled book, with the hero and heroine working for a government organization like FBI, military, etc doesn’t work if one is responsible for evaluations on the other. I am somewhat okay with co workers if they don’t start their romance while investigation a kidnapping (grin) Change the tone of the book, make it humorous, then I don’t have a problem with it.
Nikki, yours is catch 22. I have read stories when the heroine is not satisfied. . . and then the hero is saying oh, it will be better next time, etc. . . sorry, it wasn’t great sex etc. . . and that definitely brings me out of the story but I do agree that it doesn’t have to be multiple!!!
“”Do you have a plot device that takes you out of the story every time?””
The h’s multiple first time vaginal orgasms.
Huge historical or factual errors are my main pet peeves. In fact, I hardly ever read historicals, because it is so difficult to find good and reasonably ones. I also tend to avoid books dealing with fields I am very familiar with.
I also dislike sex scenes in situations where no sane person would think of having sex, i.e. while running for one’s life, on the backs of horses or motorcycles, behind a screen at a ball or public gathering in the 19th century, unrealistic feats of stamina, etc…
This is probably cultural, but infidelity does not bother me so much, as long as the explanation is good enough. Someone in a completely happy relationship suddenly sleeping with someone else – instant wallbanger. However, if one character is still caught up in an unhappy relationship he or she is unwilling or able to leave for whatever reason and then starts up a relationship with someone else, I can accept it, if the writing is good enough.
And since I come from a country where workplace and office romances are not taboo and even quite common (I know several couples who met at work), I don’t mind boss – secretary romances, as long as there is no coercion involved. And coercion is a big no-no in any context. If anything, I find the strict taboo against workplace romances in the US baffling. Relationships between teachers and students, doctors and patients or police officers and suspects, however, are definitely out, though again it depends on the writing and the circumstances.
I used to be okay with sex scenes occurring at the worst of moments/situations/locations, but after reading them for years, they have started to pull me out of the novel with their ridiculousness. Is it so hard to wait 50 pages to have sex at a better moment? I remember reading Willig’s Seduction of the Crimson Rose and how the hero/heroine DIDN’T have sex, though the characters in the first 3 novels of the series did in their respective books. Looking back, there really wasn’t a good moment to insert a sex scene and I respected the author for the gutsy decision to not just stick one in for the sake of having one.
I don’t mind characters breaking ethics as long as they are conscious they are breaking ethics. I hate it when a character treads all over something like doctor-patient confidentiality without realizing that there is such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality.
Julie, You are absolutely right about the language. It is a fine line. While I can appreciate the classics. . . the language usually has me reading lines over and over to understand the author’s meaning, and that pulls me out of the story. The words have to common enough to pull us into the story, into the world that you are building, but not so modern or trendy that they jump out at the reader.
I’ve been taking notes! I agree with most No-No’s, as a mom and someone who doesn’t find it believable to succumb to hormones if someone is after me with a gun and someone who can’t imagine having hot sex with someone I don’t know, I’m waaay too private a person for that.
One comment about language in historicals, though. As one poster here commented, if you REALLY used the language of the times, no one could read it (Shakespearean English, anyone?) Historical author loops talk all the time about how to express something (like “”making love”” in the Regency; there are no equivalent terms) in a way that doesn’t sound too modern but makes the meaning clear. It’s a difficult target to hit, but most historical authors try really hard to straddle the line between 100% authentic and readable/understandable. As with jerk heros and tstl heroines, no writer sets out to create prose that pulls readers out of the story!
Sandy C. . . all the great post prove that each of have a hot button and not necessary the same one. What works for one, doesn’t for another.
I do agree that I expect authors to keep fact straight. . . If I can do it as a reader, then I expect the person who created it, to know it even better. I tend not to do long term series books because of the reason you stated. . . It is just not worth the aggravation of starting a series, that goes on and on. . . and people change beyond recognition. I will say that many time an author just gives a snapshot of a character, and the reader’s imagination fills in the blanks, which is not what the author intended.
Heather. . . oh, you make me glad it wasn’t me reading that book(grin). . .
I have issues with extreme physical exertion followed by hours and hours of hot sex. You can’t tell me that the H/h wouldn’t be dead tired after hiking through the mountains for six to eight hours, only sharing one bottle of water between them! And apparently a head injury is the perfect excuse for a couple of have some fun; what headache?
I also have a problem with inconsistencies, especially in a series. I don’t care if the author has to draw a chart that fills the entire wall of her office, I want to beg, “”Please, don’t get it wrong!”” I like to reread books, and when I reread the first book and realize that a secondary character (who has a book later on) is completely different in the two books, I lose interest. Maybe I’m being too critical, but “”world building”” is not only confined to historical and futuristic novels.
Unbelievable scenarios also include things like: 1) the h inheriting a complicated business with no prior experience, and yet she steps in and in no time makes everyone love her, doubles the company’s profits, and so on, 2) the h who has a complete personality change (dumpy and shy to pretty and confident) in a very short time frame, etc.
Leigh, “”When A Man Loves A Woman”” (that’s the book in which the H/h make love the same day as her husband’s funeral) happens to be one of my keepers. I won’t go into great detail here, but I think it made perfect sense given the context.
Ditto to the ethical violations! Any sort of blatant conflict of interest like that is guaranteed to make me angry. Most of the time it reeks of abuse of power and that is so not sexy in my book.
I recently had the displeasure of reading the worst book I have ever read. The premise was so preposterous that I could not take any of it seriously. The hero and a band of his cronies journey to a convent to retrieve the daughter of a noble who has arranged a marriage for her. Unbeknownst to them, a plague of some sort has struck and all the nuns are deceased with a group of women hiding there for various reasons posing as the nuns. The men start pairing off and begin to have intimate relations with the “”nuns.”” So I have to say “”boning pseudo-nuns”” is an automatic fail for me. :)
JMM, I was bothered with a book with a social worker supposedly evaluating the home life of a child and starting an affair with his brother, who was acting as his guardian. . .It wasn’t a wallbanger by any means. .there were many cute scenes in the book, but it still made me uncomfortable.
Renee, one reason that I love friends to lover scenario so much is that the author has the “”knowing part”” of the relationship in place. I don’t have to worry about suspending belief on the time frame.
Angela, I dislike physical violence of any type between adults, when it is a case of losing control of their temper. (like you said, safety is completely different) One author used to always have the hero and his friend or brother in fist fights at 28-35 years of age. . . It wasn’t just a punch, it was rolling around in the dirt, fighting. The men that I grew up around left that behind when they entered adulthood. .
I not saying it doesn’t happen. . . but not in my family so it seemed very weird. My family excels at door slamming (grin). .
Nikki, It is refreshing isn’t it, when authors have the hero and heroine actually talking about hurt feelings and misunderstandings. . .and not jumping to conclusions. . . I can handle it better if it is not the main conflict of the book. . I think this is one that definitely takes a talented author to pull off.
Dr. Zoidberg. . . condescending pet names or the taming of the heroine. . .
I happened to love Passion and did not find the situation so out of the realm of possiblity. Again the whole different strokes for different folks sort of thing.
What I cannot stand and I will immediately put a book down,is the heroine throwing/punching/hitting and any sort of physical abuse against the hero. The only exception to this rule is if she feels threatened for her life and is trying to get away. I would expect resistence from the heroine in a situation like that.
But what I hate is when the heroine is just mad or couldn’t win the argument so she lashes out physically against the hero. To me this is petty and immature and I’m thinking maybe she needs some counseling.
Recently I have been turned off by books without any real characterization where the hero and heroine say they are deeply in love but all they have done is have hot sex every 10-15 pages.
Renee’s comment reminded me of another pet peeve of mine :
How about the whole, I hate and detest you,but I am so going to screw you six ways from sunday. I am sure somewhere out there it’s been done. But if there is anyone out there like me, if I hate someone,I am not going to be imagining how I can get into their bed.
Regencies where they ‘chat up’ the heroine? Please, no! But painfully accurate historical speech patterns? “”Laird, ye canna gie a woman a’ her will.”” Uh-uh, nope, sorry, not going do 307 pages of that.
My #1 eyeroller/wallbanger? The simple act of the h/h not talking to each other.
Ethics being ignored.
Sleeping with the boss.
Sleeping with a patient.
Sleeping with a suspect.
Sleeping with a witness.
Sleeping with someone you are investigating (spy novels might be the exception)
Sleeping with someone who doesn’t know who you are because you’re undercover.
Sleeping with someone whose business you are taking over.
bungluna, it was probably the same book! Many readers posted great reviews about the book. . . It was too outrageous for me. . .
LOL, on not being a picky reader. . . if you are not, then neither am I. . . because we share similar dislikes. . .
Danie, It makes me wonder what authors are thinking when they put together a plot. . . I don’t expect them to have first hand knowledge of what it feels like to have a daughter in a coma, but at least try empathy. .
Any terribly obnoxious terms of affection from the hero to the heroine will make my eyes roll; i.e. ‘kitten, hellcat, waif, nymph’, etc.
Luce’, I agree with you on the mores of historical heroines. . . although, I do read some authors. . . Amanda Quick, tends to always have this happen to heroines. . .I tend to read her books more for the dialogue between the hero and heroine.
Becky, I view movies differently. . . I just tend to go with the flow. Dumbed by Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Mr and Mrs. Smith, Air Force One etc. . .not that I watch all that many. . . but put in something that I know about. . . The Closer had a episode with a person dying of sepsis. . . I had the same reaction that you did with Salt. . .
I remember reading a book in which the widow made love to her best friend on the day of the funeral and the rest of the story was about their relationship and I thought the author did a good job of exploring that relationship. Which is my way of saying that it all depends on the author and the story.
The one thing I will not tolerate, aside from obvious tstl moments in dangerous situations, is blatant disregard of factual things. This includes language use, career no-noes, ethical misbihavior contrary to a profession, etc.
Anachronisms also set me off. And h/h acting all pc in historicals also drive me crazy.
Other than that I really not a picky reader. ;-D
Em, I’m with you on messing up other languages – ça me fend le cul! Also, I have to echo the having sex while your kid is missing/dying. I read a Joan Johnston book where the couple have been having marital difficulties and are fighting while their daugher drowns. The father (a doctor) immediately wants to pull the plug on his daughter. Later, but still less than 48 hours after the drowning, the parents decide they have to have a heart to heart about the state of their marriage and arrange to meet at home while their DAUGHTER LIES IN A COMA. There were so many things wrong with this book but that whole story line just killed it for me. I’ll never read anything by that author again. I do not buy it and, therefore, I will not buy your book!
I recently finished a historical romance novel where the hero and heroine are running from some serious bad guys. They were leaving bodies littered in their path-dangerous. So, the h/h get to an inn where the hero knows the inn keeper. He pays him for his silence and besides, he’s friends with the guy anyway. H/h proceed to their room where they have loud sex with the hero shouting during sexual release. I’m thinking…really? Aren’t you supposed to be quiet for goodness sake? Other than that, I continued reading and it was a good book. Took me out the story for a moment.
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Michele, stranger sex is an automatic wall banger for me, especially in a historical. . . and ick. . . on the sex in a room full of people.
Patricia. . . . weather is a definite deal breaker expecially cold weather. I did recently read one where the hero and heroine made love in the rain. . . that got a big eye roll from me. Like I am going to be in the mood with water cascading on my face.
Pat. . . sheesh. . that had to hurt. . . I wonder why authors can’t use comfort. . . instead of adding sex into the picture. Nothing is more attractive to me then caring. . .
Em, you must be bilingual. . . I don’t notice it all that much, because I don’t speak a foreign language (even after four years of Spanish in HS) . . but put in some type of medical situation and I am all on it.
I do think it is sad and hilarious. . . that several celebrities have a tattoo that is either mispelled or the words are in the wrong order. . Talk about a reason to do your research and get it right!
Tee, I agree that it is never black or white. . .Some things pass on by me, and others I am like what? what?. . You can’t be serious. . .
Robin B, for a long time I just quit reading all but a few historical authors because of what you stated. I am sticking my toe back in the historical genre more. . . but once I come across something that seems out of place, I really have a difficult time continuing with a book.
Jennifer, I just spewed diet coke all over my screen, after reading your post. . . Ah, yes that would have completely pulled me out of the story. I did once read a book, where the heroine and hero made love on a motorcycle while it was going 60 miles an hour, and I thought it was an okay book (grin). . . . only because I have a habit of skimming through some love scenes. . and missed it. I only knew about it, because a friend read the same book.
quoting Dick “” But things like sex while on the run from bad guys? Not so unbelievable; hormones work all the time.””
While I can’t speak for all women, for me that is more a “”guy thing””. Since I never have been on the run from bad guys I can’t say never. . . (grin). . . but I suspect if I was, the guy with me, shouldn’t get his hopes too high . .
With children involved? I can’t see it either. . . Again not talking about all women. Some of the men that I know, wouldn’t be interested in sex either, if their child was missing. . .
A couple of authors have worked around the infidelity issue. . .for some readers, not the full blown black area, but the shades of gray. . . like Julia Fleming Spencer, Kristan Higgins, etc.
Full blown infidelity. . . I completely agree with you, has no place in a romance novel, and that would automatically be a wallbanger
My LOL and quit reading moment comes when the hero is shot/beat up, the heroine helps/cleans off the wound, and they go back to wherever one of them lives and make love.
I’ve been accidentally shot once (with an arrow on an archery field and told it wasn’t as bad as being shot with a bullet) and I don’t care what kind of stoic the hero is or how gorgeous and sexy the heroine is, making love will not be something that comes to mind.
But I guess for some romance writers this is a delineator of a real man. LOL.
For me, it’s the moment when the author has her h/h supposedly speaking another language (usually French), and it is laughably, ridiculously WRONG.
It’s just one of my pet peeves–why can’t an author do the simplest amount of research to get just one, teeny phrase right? It’s not like she is writing in Serbo-Croatian or something even more obscure. I have seen this sort of mangling of French, Italian and even Russian in various romances, and it colors the rest of the book for me thereafter. Petty, I know, but there it is.
Em, I agree with you completely – messed up languages are my pet peeve, too.
As a Serbo-Croatian speaker, I don’t think it is an obscure language ;-))) but it is true that not many people speak it – compared to English…or Russian. On the other hand, I cannot tell you how many times I heard in movies (and on TV) supposedly Russian bad guys speak Serbo-Croatian.
Yeah, sure, some things that occur in fiction strain one’s suspenders a bit, but, and that a big BUT, romance fiction by its very nature asks us to suspend disbelief from the moment we open a book. Some things I refuse to accept–such as infidelity, although I don’t really question it’s believablilty as much as its acceptability anytime, anywhere. But things like sex while on the run from bad guys? Not so unbelievable; hormones work all the time.
Improbable sex scenes do pull me out of a story. I read one book by Stephanie Laurens where the hero is seducing the heroine into marriage (a frequent theme of hers) by seducing her and having sex outside (since I guess they could not find a place to sneak away to that is in doors) at night in the middle of winter. Come on! I hate being cold and nothing spells romance like a frigid wind blowing over a bare back side. Besides, how do they even see each other? I could not finish the Lisa Valdez because I just could not get past the idea of people having sex in a room full of people. Just because they are behind a screen does not mean that no sounds are being made.
The scene that comes to my mind immediately is from a movie…Salt, starring Angelina Jolie. WARNING…I’m going to talk about the ending, so if anyone is planning on seeing the film, stop reading now. It was an action adventure spy flick, so my suspension of disbelief was working overtime already. Then, after the absolutely, unbelievably stressful, physically draining, confusing, suspenseful days this character has, we are expected to be OK with her dropping out of a helicopter into a freezing cold river wearing nothing but a blouse and pair of pants and emerging from the river at a run, off to hunt down more bad guys. I mean, she had had the crap beaten out of her…oh PLEASE! It was way too over the top for me and pretty much ruined the movie.
Well done! I don’t read romances involving children in peril because there is NOTHING that could put me in a romantic mood in such a situation. Another thing that bugs me is when a virginal heroine in a historical asks to be taught about sex for whatever contrived reason. I just CAN’T accept that a real person would suddenly disregard her upbringing and principles, especially with a stranger.
The Oh, please! scene that sticks in my mind featured the hero and heroine making love in a gazebo in the middle of a hurricane with the structure literally coming apart over their heads. Not possible, hon–a gazebo being an open structure, they’d have been blown away in more ways than one, never mind the flying debris. I’m also uncomfortable with the adultery scenario. Nothing romantic about a cheater. Someone should tell the authors that breaking rules of nature and romance doesn’t equal originality. On the other hand, that making-love-on-horseback scene someone mentioned? Cossacks were legendary for that…:)
The most outrageous jaw dropping scene for me was in Passion by Lisa Valdez. By page 10 two strangers who didn’t even know each others names were having full on sex in a public place behind a screen. Whoa!
I recently read a Sarah McCarty book with a sex scene on a horse where I swear they’d have to be members of Cirque de Soleil to pull it off. So I guess improbable sex situations can bug me, not that I put either of these books down! :)
For me, it’s not so much a plot device that causes an eye roll/wall bang reaction when reading a story–it’s either sloppiness or laziness on the part of the author or editor! I wish had a dollar for every historical that I’ve read in which a character says or thinks something using phraseology that was just not used during the Regency or during medieval times or whatever period the story is set in. Maybe it’s because I majored in history in college, but really–it doesn’t take a whole lot of research to find out that a 20th or 21st century word or phrase is a total anachronism in a story set hundreds of years earlier!
Not any particular one in mind right now, Leigh. But I’ll know it when I see it. When my reaction is—“”Oh, yeah, that’s pretty stupid and I’m supposed to believe that?””—then that’s the thing that just may discredit the rest of the story because more TSTL moments may be just around the corner.
I think, though, that it’s different for each reader and sometimes we only recognize what sets us off while we’re reading it. Because it’s as you said; some authors pull TSTL circumstances off better than others. I have tolerated what I would believe are unacceptable behaviors to me in one book and completely reject them in others. It’s all in the authors’ hands.