Call in the Angry Villagers: 10 Clichés We Can Live Without

My sister Erika got me hooked on band of brothers and now this shit is gettin’ too fuckin weird. Vampires, psychics, shapeshifters, werewolves, Gods :|

Oh, and here’s one: In a series with three or four heroines, one is blond, one is brunette, and one’s a redhead. Always. (If there are four, you get two shades of brunette, or one’s got black hair.)

I had to laugh so much, you all really made my day! I have one more clìchè I hate more and more: the H/h can make love everywhere, everytime, in every condition. I read books where the hero just got stabbed in the back/ beaten to a bloody corps/ came back from prison after being tortured (all for the honor of the heroine of course) and the next thing they do ….and the places!? Beaches, horseback, riverbanks (no stones?)…….In one of my all time favorits, “”Lord Carew’s Bride””, the hero was in a boxing fight to defend the honor of the heroine, he won, came back home, he could not breath, could not see, because his eyes were swollen, could not bear a touch because he hurt everywhere, and the heronine tells him, she wants to explore new things in bed, and he is happy to show her…poor guy. Can’t the authors think of another way – sometimes – to show love?

@Nana. You must have read Daniel’s Gift by Barbara Freethy. It left scars on me.

Great list and comments. Very funny.

Oh my god I just found this site today and just about wet my pants reading your list of cliches. But I agree with some of the other commenters that you should have mentioned the hidden love child. I hate the stories with the ex-boyfriend who dumps the small town girl because he just had to leave the above mentioned small town who returns years later and runs into his small town first love and the love child she hid from him. And of course they all live happily ever after lol. Ha, I would have never hidden the child because I would have taken his butt to court for child support.

But aside from that, I am ashamed to admit that some of those cliches like the befuddled father and names like Rafe still do it for me. A hero just isn’t a hero if his name is Fred.

One of the reasons I stopped reading romances for a long time(especially the historicals), was the impossibly silly names both heroes and heroines ended up with. And to be equally “”pedantic””, Derik and Tiffany may have been real names in the Middle Ages, but they weren’t very common. Worse, though, I started to read a book that was set in Anglo-Saxon times(a period that particularly interests me), where the hero was called — get this — *Wulfson*! That would *never* have been a given name in this period! He might have been referred to as something like Edmund Wulfson, if his father was named Wulf(yes, some people were). And that’s just one example of lazy research. Like one other person here, if I see “”jarring”” names like this, the book goes back on the shelf immediately.
Anne G

I unknowingly started yet another book that paints small towns as hot-beds of hatred and small-mindedness. After the post on SEP, I decided I wanted to read something by her and picked up Dream a Little Dream. But as much as I love her writing, I’m sick of reading about small southern towns populated with hateful religious bigots.

“”Alex kissed Sam.”” LOL! Absolutely. Which one is the girl? I’ve read several books recently where one or the other of those names has been used for the heroine. So this sentence is very PC. ;-) The book could be m/m, f/f, or m/f.

@Magdalen .I’ll root for Amy too.I’m so tired of reading about how “”Alex kissed Sam.””

Could we amend #5 to include Overly-Masculine Heroine Names? Julie James is particularly guilty of this: Three books, and her heroines are (in chronological order): Taylor, Payton, and Cameron. Really? As someone with a tricky first name and “”Stuart”” as a middle name, I can tell you this is not nice to do to your heroines. Or to your readers; I’m constantly getting confused when I read the heroine’s name and can’t remember if that *is* the heroine, or just the surname of a secondary character.

So sign me for both clubs: the “”David Is a Fine Hero Name”” posse and the “”Why Can’t the Heroine Be Amy and the BFF Be Cameron?”” group.

You are on fire with these op-eds ladies of AAR: keep em coming!! Now I just thought of the quintessential city romance: Roarke and Eve! She hates and fears cows. She loves New Yawk and all that it stands for.

I do get a little wiped out by the idyllic small town series … even as I reach for them like I do comfort food. So sue me :) I’m a reading pendulum :D

I’ve been thinking more about the small town vs big city comments, and either I don’t read whatever category of books where authors glamorize small town life, or I’m just not that tuned into it. I don’t read many historical romances and I don’t read many series/category romances. I mainly read romantic suspense and contemps, with a few PNRs and sci-fi romances thrown in. Just setting a book in a small town shouldn’t be a problem, right? I mean small towns are legitimate settings for stories. I’ve been looking over the lists of books I’ve read in the past two years and a few fall into the small-town is better mold, but few or none have June Cleaver in them, unless June Cleaver was having hot sex with the local sheriff or bad-boy or the local billionaire.

In fact, most of the books I’ve read are set in cities, or towns on the outskirts of cities. In the romantic suspense genre, small town settings usually mean we’re gonna get small-town gossip, corrupt good ole boy lawmen, and racist narrow-minded populous. The small-minded biddies and well-to-do citizens have kept some good, but lower class, people stuck on the wrong side of the track, and now the poor boy (or girl) is going to make good and get the rich girl (or guy) s/he has always been in love with. After they solve a mystery which of course involves one or more of those repressive, yet upstanding citizens. ;-)

I guess I’m saying that I see small towns vilified as much as glamorized in romance novels. I guess you just have to pick the ones that fit your tastes. And the same with the clean-scrubbed small-town girl vs sophisticated big city woman. They both play their part in romance novels.

hilarious list, especially with the ellipses. I wonder if someone has a romance novel checklist out there to see which books use the most cliches. I totally agree with you about the names. I don’t get why authors have to use such exotic names. Women are perfectly able to drool over men with normal names:
George Clooney, Tom Cruise (pre-couch-jumping Tom), Jonathan Rhys Myers, Johnny Depp, Hugh Dancy, Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ed Westwick, Will Smith, James Franco, James Marsden, James McAvoy, David Beckham, Patrick Dempsey, Richard Gere

I’d like heroes to have geeky names and then own it instead of using “”cool”” first name nicknames.

I am also really tired of the Big City=bad/ Small town=good. As a city dweller, I feel pretty left out when I’m reading those books. I’d like to think that a big bad city dweller like me can find love too.

Re; heroines who are beautiful but think they’re ugly…I highly doubt most authors are thinking ‘let’s give my character body dysmorphic disorder’, but rather ‘let’s have this stunning character still be attractively modest’! I totally buy a heroine who is cute, but there’s something about her not currently considered desirable (chubby, flat-chested, whatever) for example, not feeling great about the way she looks, and the heroine finding her really attractive. It’s when the character is described as being stunning to the point where everyone is after her, but still does the ‘tee hee, me, really?’ Most people who are *that* attractive do have some conscious realisation of it.

Also, I have met people who are #10–still holding grudges against people who did things to them in high school. They are not pleasant to be around. Show me someone who wasn’t at one point both a victim and perpatrator of ‘jerk’ behaviour and I’ll be quite surprised. Most poeple just only remember when they’re on the losing end of it.

Loving the list! I have to disagree with ‘what would we have left’..many of these are pretty specific, so it seems to me it wouldn’t be that hard to do without. Not to say nobody should ever write them, but it does strike me a bit funny when a rather random plot element suddenly seems to get taken up by everyone!

I really really want to write a book that turns 6 on its head. She was raised in the big city, and went to the small town to escape the hustle and bustle…she married Jake, the rancher, who ended up cheating on her and leaving her much in the fashion of Evil City ex. She went back to work for her parents in the big city, and had to deal with the guy they’d hired, who she immediately butts heads with…

And I’m a member of ‘more heroes named David’ club.

My pet peeve is everyone is soooo nice! I want to smack them all and then throw away the book. That was before I discovered Half Price Books. I hate the overly nice heroine.

My BIGGEST romance pet peeve is when babies somehow bring couples together. Couples that hated each other/would have never been together but now because this baby is in existence, they’ve magically solved all of their issues. UGH. Drives me crazy. But this list is great.

I don’t usually read historical romances, so I’m not up on the overused plot lines there, but I have to agree with the weird/unusual names in every sub-genre of romance. And I’ll add this: 1) Overused common names. Once recently I read three books in a row with a heroine named Grace. I love the name, but got really tired of it (not to mention confused about which story I was in). Kate or some derivative thereof (usually Cat), is another one. There are guy names (Nate for one) that show up way over norms as well. 2) Using masculine names/nicknames for heroine. I am dreadfully tired of all the Sams, Charlies, Joes, and Andies.

I honestly haven’t read many books with the small town=good, big city=bad plot. I’m always confused when people mention this one. In fact, I got so tired of the cool, sophisticated fashion diva heroine with impeccable make-up, perfectly coiffed hair, and designer clothes that I sought out a few stories of ladies in jeans and t-shirts.

One last thing: I’m sick to death of “”spunky”” heroines where spunky=b*tchy. Male of female, I don’t like people who think they can treat other people like dirt in the name of independence. An independent heroine can be strong and single-minded without being rude and cutting.

One of my favorite books ever, a Silhouette Special Edition published in 1987, titled “”Time After Time”” by Billie Green, explores film cliches in a very funny way.

I agree with most of these, although the last part about getting over your high school years? I’m more than a bit embarrassed to admit that I haven’t gotten over mine, and probably never will. Those years aren’t called the “”formative”” years for nothing! :)

I must also agree with several others who mentioned the “”hide the baby from the hero, and live on welfare until he tracks them down”” plot. Jeez, that’s not pride; it’s stupidity! If the heroine doesn’t care how she lives, what about her child?!

My pet plot peeve, though, has to be the Big Misunderstanding which could be cleared up in thirty seconds if the H/h would just talk to each other! None of this, “”I was afraid to hear the answer, so I didn’t ask.”” Huh?! It puts both of them in the TSTL category, or at least the TSTBH (too stupid to be happy!) category.

As for #2 – I’d like the heroine to get MAD at her neglectful daddy sometimes.

I’m so tired of “”DNA is everything! You MUST love your parents and your siblings, no matter how rotten they are to you!””

I wanted to slap the heroine in one of Carla Kelly’s books when she rushes into the arms of her father AFTER he sells her to another man to get rid of a gambling debt. (I forget the title) I wanted the hero to shoot the SOB.

There are some horrifyingly true suggestions here, everyone. The list needs expanding!

And thanks, Susanna, for the link to Lynne’s wonderful blog.

This is a smooth and funny piece Sandy!

I’m ok with heroine/herb basket and war wounds. However, I am with you on silly and/or anachronistic hero names and spies. Nothing screams writers block more than a romance novel with the spy schtick. It should die down the way the “fake widow” and the “woman disguised as a boy” did.

Muse missing in action alert: The heroine who ignores *obvious* sound advice and sour grapes related to high school.

Um, should probably let this go, because I too hate ridiculous hero/heroine names, but both Tiffany and Derek were in use as early as the middle ages. Tiffany was used for girls born on the feast of the Epiphany and Derek is the Dutch/Flemish version of Theodoric which was usually Terry or Thierry in England and France. Sorry to be pedantic but I’ve seen Tiffany sneered at so many times I thought I should speak up.

I have absolutely nothing clever to add, but I did want to say thank you to Sandy for making me laugh. We could add another one:

#15: The hero assumes the heroine is a slut because he sees her kissing or even just talking to another man. Of course, it always turns out that the “”other man”” is her cousin, but the so-called hero doesn’t believe she is virtuous until they have sex for the first time and he discovers that she is a virgin. After much teeth-gnashing, he admits that she is pure and that he was mistaken. I won’t even go into the idea that a woman’s virtue is totally dependent on the state of her hymen but will only add to Laurie’s comment that I don’t find it romantic when the hero treats the heroine like garbage and she’s supposed to love him for it.

Love it!

@Nana – I’m with you on the heroines who don’t bother to tell the hero they’re pregnant – or to seek child support.

I’d also add the love scenes with heroines who wonder how the hero will ever manage to fit. Rose Lerner does a funny twist on this in In for a Penny, but otherwise the cliche just needs to be retired.

Stop everyone! I’m laughing so hard!

Nana – I totally agree. These are two of my most hated cliches. The pregnant heroine who doesn’t tell who becomes the heroine years later who won’t accept financial support. I’ll add another that goes along with it (ALWAYS in Harlequin romances). The Billionaire Alpha Male (usually Italian or Greek) who, upon discovering said heroine is pregnant or discovers heroine with his child years after birth, swoops in and blackmails or somehow forces her into marriage, completely erases her life, treats her like garbage, and, of course, she loves him for it. Honestly, I’m still wondering why in 2010, this scenario is still considered romantic.