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Dan Wingreen’s The Family We Make is a charming, funny and incredibly touching contemporary romance featuring a single dad with a teenaged son and a guy who feels as though he’s lost his way in life. It’s well-written and sharply observed, with brilliantly drawn relationships, a teenager who speaks and acts like one and two complex, flawed and utterly endearing leads. I pretty much inhaled it, and even though there were a couple of things that didn’t quite work for me, I adored it and came away from it with a huge smile on my face.
At twenty-eight, teacher Spencer Kent has been a father for half his life. His son Connor – the result of a drunken more-than-fumble when he was just thirteen – is the centre of his universe; which is not to say that life is plain sailing and they don’t have their ‘moments’, especially now Connor is a teenager, but Spencer adores him and wouldn’t have things any other way. Becoming a father so young, though, has been a bit of a struggle; Spencer had help from his parents in the early days, and they took care of Connor while Spencer went to college, but it’s just been him and Connor for a decade and even now he is never sure he’s doing the right thing – something any parent of any age will identify with. But most of the time, things between them are pretty good, and if Spencer is sometimes lonely for adult companionship and conversation, if he’s missed out on his chance to find ‘the one’ – because what gay man his age is going to want to take on a teenaged boy as well? – then that’s the way it is. Having Connor in his life more than makes up for it.
Connor is fairly quiet and reserved, but it comes as a shock when Spencer discovers his son doesn’t have any friends and that he’s being bullied, and he panics. How can he not have noticed something that important? When a colleague recommends he signs Connor up for the local Big Brother program, he thinks it’s worth considering, and after a discussion (and a hefty bribe!) Connor agrees to give it a try.
Tim Ellis finished his psychology degree and intended to continue his studies at grad school, but dropped the idea when his professor made it clear that his acceptance to the master’s program was dependent on Tim’s having sex with him – and when he refused, the man threatened to blackball him at all the other colleges in the area. Tim broke up with his manipulative boyfriend a few months back, his mother is forever on at him to come home, to do this, or that, and instead of embarking on the career in child psychology he’d planned on, he’s back working at a friend’s bakery. He’s fed up and feeling useless, the one bright spot in his life his volunteer work at the local youth centre. Which is, of course, where he meets Spencer and Connor.
To say that Spencer and Tim get off on the wrong foot at their first meeting is an understatement of massive proportions, and they part actually hoping never to see each other again! Fortunately however, Tim and Connor get along really well, and their growing friendship eventually expands to include Spencer, and I loved watching Tim and Spencer become friends, then fall in love, and the three of them gradually become a family.
The story is told from Spencer’s and Tim’s viewpoints, but really there are three main characters, as Connor is integral to the story without overwhelming or unbalancing it. I adored all three of them; the characterisation is superb, and they’re all fully-rounded, complex individuals whose flaws and insecurities combine to make them feel incredibly real, and the dialogue is sharply focused and often very funny. Spencer is a bit chaotic, but he’s also hilarious – he’s cynical and sarcastic and has no brain-to-mouth filter (sometimes Connor seems to be the more mature of the two of them!), but his snarkiness is clearly a defence mechanism. Tim thinks he’s adorable, and it’s true – beneath the waspishness, he’s rather charming. Tim is six years younger, but seems to be a bit more ‘together’; he’s also the more sexually experienced of the two, which makes sense given Spencer has put his social and dating life in order to parent Connor.
The book tackles a number of serious issues, from the problems of being a father at fourteen to how to parent a child close to you in age, to how to protect and support that child in a way that still allows them to acquire the independence they need as they grow up. One of the things the author does very well is to expose the difficulties involved in handling bullying at school; as a teacher myself, it’s something I come up against a lot and while schools do their best, they can only do so much. And while I’m on the subject of school and teaching, the only parts of the book that didn’t work for me were mostly related to Spencer’s job. Some of the things he did and said (like texting during a lesson) were unprofessional (and here in the UK would have probably led to disciplinary action), and there’s an odd sub-plot relating to a female teacher who is widely known to sleep with older students, and who is still in a job. Here, she’d have been suspended at the merest whiff of a suspicion, let alone actual complaints.
Those things apart however, I loved The Family We Make and recommend it highly. The familial relationships that develop between Tim, Spencer and Connor are really well done, and the friendship between Tim and Connor, especially how Tim is absolutely there for Connor and makes sure to respect his privacy, was lovely to watch developing. There are some wonderful moments of raw emotion that perfectly capture the ups and downs of family life, and of what it’s like to love another person so much it hurts that really hit me in the feels, and the romance is a lovely, angst-free slow-burn. I loved that once Spencer and Tim start dating (and having sex), they’re exactly the same people with the same sense of dry humour and ability to snark back and forth that they always were, and by the end, I was completely convinced that these guys – all of them – were going to be together for the long haul.
The Family We Make is cute, funny, insightful, sexy and utterly delightful. It’s the fabulous feel-good read I didn’t know I needed in my life, and I’m so glad to have found it.
Buy it at: Amazon
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Grade: A-
Book Type: Contemporary Romance
Sensuality: Warm
Review Date: 14/04/20
Publication Date: 03/2020
Recent Comments …
Yep
This sounds delightful! I’m grabbing it, thanks
excellent book: interesting, funny dialogs, deep understanding of each character, interesting secondary characters, and also sexy.
I don’t think anyone expects you to post UK prices – it’s just a shame that such a great sale…
I’m sorry about that. We don’t have any way to post British prices as an American based site.
I have several of her books on my TBR and after reading this am moving them up the pile.
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Finished this a few days ago, and left it to sit a bit before commenting here. I’d grade it a B. It was a nice read – and a good diversion from some of my more recent, darker reads – but not A material. Having said that, I hope the author continues to publish. Wingreen has written interesting, human-scale characters here. I particularly liked Connor – the teenager – a lot, and I loved the relationship between Connor and his Dad, Spencer.
The author provided enough detail for me to believe the single dad explanation (although even more about Spencer’s parents would have added to the story). The educational plot points as noted in the review were a mixed bag for me. The teacher accused – but not charged, much less convicted – I found believable, for example. But I don’t believe a teacher checking a cell phone while actively teaching. And, sorry, but there is no way a younger, newer teacher would ever get a better classroom over teachers with more seniority. But the bigger hole in the book for me was the overall time frame. I wanted Tim and Connor’s relationship develop before the leads began to consider getting involved, especially since neither lead was particularly looking for a relationship to begin with and both had self-esteem issues to start with (e.g. the bullying subplot and resolution could have been the catalyst for bringing the leads into contact with one another over time, rather than something the two deal with after they’ve become a couple). In general, I find that contemporary (and more recently published) romances rush the relationship. I’m sure it is a function of author’s trying to make a living. Longer, more detailed books take longer to write and delay cash flow. But I definitely prefer books (and series) that give characters lots of things to do/think about while slowly coming to realize they’ve met someone special, and Wingreen had all the elements in place to do that with these characters. Maybe next time?
I’m glad you enjoyed it at least :)
The not-charged teacher thing could absoutely not happen – not in the UK anyway. I’ve sadly known of teachers accused wrongly and maliciously whose careers have been ruined even though they had done nothing wrong. Any whiff of something like that, and the teacher is out. Texting in class is a complete no-no; I’ve known people be reprimanded for it.
On the other hand, the whole classroom thing isn’t a big deal over here, so that plot point could have been completely dispensed with as far as I was concerned!
As you’re a teacher, too, there will be things here that make you think “woah!” – and I wish the author had done some research there, but the main story – the romance and the familial relationships – are excellent.
This is a great example of a book priced slightly higher than I like to spend…but given a glowing recommendation by a reviewer I trust. I bought it & will get to it as soon as I finish the new Kris Kennedy. Which, if anyone read my GR review of the first book in this series, is going in a similar direction. :)
This is certainly a perfect contrast! I hope you enjoy it if you do pick it up.
Done. Along with Joanna Chambers Gentleman and Master Wolf!
So, I’ve been rereading Gregory Ashe’s Hazard and Somerset books. I really like them, and recommend them. But some of the violence in them has been a little hard to take. This sounds like a perfect diversion before I begin the next one. Thank you for the review!
No, the mother isn’t in the picture, and although it’s not explained in detail, I think she didn’t want custody, but Spencer did and his parents were involved somehow. It’s not clear, I admit.
And yes, the school stuff was really off (the same thing would happen here) – but the fact I enjoyed the book regardless shows, I suppose, how good the rest of it is.
I work in an American high school. In our school district, a teacher, regardless of gender, who was having sex with their students (regardless of gender or age) would not only lose their job but (if the students were under 18) would be charged with criminal violations and, if found guilty, be on a Sex Offenders registry. Also, we are instructed not to use our phones during instructional time or when we’re on duty. Those two elements alone would take me right out of the book, but I have another question: what about Connor’s mother? Is she in the frame at all?
That is my question too. It’s hard to imagine a plausible scenario where a teenage boy gets custody. What’s the setup that makes that work?