Seven Minutes in Heaven

TEST

Seven Minutes in Heaven is the third in Eloisa James’  Desperate Duchess by the Numbers series which is a kind of Desperate Duchesses TNG – the heroes and heroines featured in these books appeared as children in some of the earlier stories and are now grown up and getting their own.  This means that there are some references to characters from and events that took place in both series; I confess that while I’ve read the previous two books in the By the Numbers series (Three Weeks with Lady X and Four Nights with a Duke), I haven’t read all of the Desperate Duchesses books which meant that I was sometimes a bit adrift as to who was related to whom.  But for the most part, Seven Minutes works perfectly well as a standalone.

Mrs. Eugenia Snowe has been a widow for some seven years, having lost her young husband in a boating accident.  The daughter of a marquess, she now owns and operates a very exclusive agency that supplies governesses to the best families, and even though her social standing has taken a just the tiniest bit of a dip because she engages in ‘trade’, she is nonetheless regarded as a woman of the highest standing and steadiest character throughout society. (I don’t think we’re told why she styles herself ‘Mrs.’ when she is entitled to be called ‘Lady’.  Mind you, if she had used her title, there would be no book.)

Eugenia has become very much a ‘dull boy’ over the last few years, rarely taking the time to visit friends and family or attend any of the various society events to which she is regularly invited.  She is still not fully over Andrew’s death and even though, as a woman of beauty, brains and fortune, she could have her pick of men, she isn’t ready to remarry.  Although, as her best friend and assistant, Susan, points out, as a widow, she doesn’t have to marry a man in order to enjoy one ;)  Eugenia liked the physical side of marriage, but has never thought about the possibility of engaging in a discreet affaire… and she probably wouldn’t have done, had not the handsome, overbearing and persistent Mr. Edward Reeve,  bastard son of the Earl of Gryffin, barged into her office demanding a replacement governess  for his eight and nine year-old half-siblings.

Reeve –or Ward, as he is known to his friends – is in a bind.  His own irregular birth has never really bothered or hindered him, but when his half-brother and half-sister are literally dumped on his doorstep following the death of their mother, Ward takes them in and determines to do his best to care for them.  But it’s not easy.  For one thing, Lizzie and Otis were brought up in a travelling acting troupe and their behaviour is unconventional to say the least; and for another, their mother was the eccentric (widely regarded as mad) Lady Lisette, who ran off with a man half her age. Her mother, the Duchess of Gilner, is now set on wresting the guardianship of her grandchildren from Ward, in the face of the wishes of both their parents.

Ward knows the duchess to be a despotic, uncaring woman and is equally determined that the children remain with him – but he needs to show that he can care for them.  Otis needs to be prepared to go to Eton, and Lizzie needs to be educated and taught all the things the daughter of a viscount needs to know.  The children have obviously not had an easy time of it, and I liked the way in which Ms. James makes the reader aware of that without making anything overly sensational or maudlin.  It’s very clear that these are children desperately in need of love, security and normalcy, and that they are going to need careful nurturing for a while until they get used to the fact that they have a permanent place in the world and in their brother’s life.

The replacement governess doesn’t work out either, and Ward is becoming desperate.  So he travels to London, determined to ask Eugenia to return to Oxfordshire with him – temporarily – so that she can see the children for herself and spend some time with them in order to better appreciate the task facing him.

According to the book synopsis, Ward ‘kidnaps’ Eugenia, but fortunately, she is quite happy to go with him, making it clear that she is open to the idea of having an affair with him. Their conversation at this point is laden with amusing and steamy double-entendres and sexually-charged banter;  but given these two people barely know each other and have really only corresponded up until now, it feels inappropriate – it’s too much too soon.

Much like Mary Poppins, Eugenia is able to see what Lizzie and Otis really need and begins to build a relationship with them – and not like Mary Poppins, does it while she and Ward are engaged in a relationship of another kind.  He finds himself thinking about permanence, but dismisses the idea quickly.  Because of his illegitimacy and his mother’s terrible reputation, Ward needs to marry well if Otis and Lizzie are going to be able to hold up their heads in society.  He needs a wife above reproach, a Lady with a capital ‘L’, one ‘to the manor born’ to ensure that they are received everywhere; and a former governess – Ward seems to be the only person in England who is ignorant of Eugenia’s pedigree – won’t cut the mustard.  So he is prepared to sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his brother and sister and let Eugenia go at the end of her two week’s stay.

I liked Ward’s protectiveness of them, and Otis and Lizzie themselves are engaging – if a little too precocious to be believable.  But the use of this particular device to create the conflict in the romance is so flimsy as to be see-through.  We’re to believe that Ward really can’t recognise that Eugenia IS a lady, in spite of the odd spurt of behaviour HE (the model of propriety himself – not!)  considers unladylike?  We’re to believe that nobody, but NOBODY – the person who suggested he employ a Snowe’s governess for example – remarked upon her social standing, even in passing?  Her assistant, Susan, who is the one who tells Ward where to find Eugenia on the day he ‘kidnaps’ her, never mentioned it?  There’s living outside of society and there’s living under a rock.

Ms. James writes with her customary elegance and assurance, and there is no question that she is a dab hand with the risqué banter and sexy love scenes.  But overall, the book lacks… heart, for want of a better word.  Ward is a stereotypically handsome, virile, protective hero with a soft side he doesn’t often show and Eugenia is, well, she’s Practically Perfect in Every Way.  It seems there is nothing she cannot do, whether it’s in the bedroom or the kitchen.  She is a woman with no flaws and I just couldn’t warm to her.

Seven Minutes in Heaven  was an easy read, but ultimately one from which I felt rather disconnected .  Neither of the protagonists really came to life or made me want to know them better; and when I finished I found myself equating it with a perfectly polished piece of veneer – a beautiful surface but with nothing substantial underneath.

Reviewed by Caz Owens

Grade: B-

Book Type: Historical Romance

Sensuality: Warm

Review Date: 26/01/17

Publication Date: 01/2017

Recent Comments …

  1. excellent book: interesting, funny dialogs, deep understanding of each character, interesting secondary characters, and also sexy.

guest

27 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kay
Kay
Guest
09/03/2017 10:28 am

I ended up really like this one. It was one of my favorite historicals so far this year.

Blackjack
Blackjack
Reply to  Kay
09/03/2017 5:03 pm

Thanks for posting this, Kay! I’m still trying to figure out which ones to read next!

stl_reader
stl_reader
Guest
09/02/2017 6:06 pm

Loved “When Beauty Tamed the Beast,” but this one was just meh for me. Here’s my Goodreads AAR post from February: “Cute, forgettable (I’m already forgetting), and only for people who don’t mind an historical that has contemporary overtones and uber-precocious children.

And here is something that took me right out of the story, when the heroine was discussing the approved gray colors of half-mourning clothing: “She smiled at him over her wine glass. ‘There are forty at least. No, likely fifty. Fifty shades of gray.’” Yeah, no.

Blackjack
Blackjack
Reply to  Caz Owens
09/03/2017 4:48 pm

I haven’t read this one yet, but I do recall enjoying the secondary characters Kibbles and Bitts from _When Beauty Tamed the Beast_. completely contemporary reference but still funny. I think her humor might be appealing just based on the two books I’ve read. We shall see.

Blackjack
Blackjack
09/01/2017 5:38 pm

I’ve had a complete 360 on Eloisa James. I picked up a few books and tried them and could not adjust to the tone and banter. However, I finally made up my mind to just sit down and read one in its entirety — When Beauty Tamed the Beast — and I just loved it. So, this past week I read a second book, My American Duchess, and loved it too. I find her humor ironic and very intriguing and now I’m out to read many of her books. I’m grateful that I gave her another chance.

Blackjack
Blackjack
Reply to  Caz Owens
09/02/2017 12:44 pm

I can see what you mean about the “knowing” element to EJ’s writing, which I have taken as ironic humor. At least in the two books I’ve read, it’s worked for me and I’ve found them quite funny. I’ll try Three Weeks with Lady X soon though.

Susan/DC
Susan/DC
Guest
09/01/2017 4:28 pm

I’ve loved some of Eloisa James’ books, although there were a few where I was more interested in the secondary characters than in the main ones. This book had clever dialogue (all of her books do), but it lost me when the Bishop’s warm reception of Eugenia didn’t serve as a catalyst for him to research just who and what she was. She told Ward that the Bishop and her father were good friends, and that should have been the moment when the light bulb went off and he began to question his assumptions about her humble origins.

Susan
Susan
Guest
03/03/2017 3:08 pm

Would love to read this. I remember Ward from an earlier book.

Melody S
Melody S
Guest
03/02/2017 7:19 pm

Great review! I love Eloisa’s writing, even when I have issues with the plot direction or her characters her writing is so engaging and witty. I’ve pretty much read all her books in her DD series except for one and they are a delight. My favorite series by her though is the Pleasure series. Soooo good! She was my very first HR author I read.

Kay
Kay
Guest
01/27/2017 10:48 pm

My favorites are Kiss Me Annabelle and When Beauty Tamed the Beast (the one where the H is a doctor).

Keira Soleore
Keira Soleore
Member
Reply to  Kay
01/28/2017 5:26 pm

Kiss Me Annabelle was my first EJ book. Loved it!

Keira Soleore
Keira Soleore
Member
01/27/2017 7:56 pm

I loved Eloisa’s Essex Sisters and Pleasures books. I also liked her Paris Memoir very much. I didn’t care much for the fairy tales, but I will always try her books, because I’m a huge fan of hers, first, books, second. She’s so wonderful. Her message board was among my first few forays into Romancelandia, and I cherish all the friendships I made there.

Dabney Grinnan
Dabney Grinnan
Admin
01/27/2017 11:13 am

I’ve loved Three Weeks with Lady X, Four Nights With the Duke, This Duchess of MineA Duke of Her Own, and have enjoyed a few of her fairy tale books.

Kate
Kate
Guest
01/26/2017 9:52 pm

I think ‘Three Weeks with Lady X’ was the best thing she’s written – I’ve read a lot of her others and nothing else really measures up to that one. I’ve requested this book from the library rather than purchase it, and I’m glad to have done so after reading this review!

Amanda
Amanda
Guest
01/26/2017 8:34 pm

Eloisa James is really hit or miss for me. I sometimes feel like one of the only fans of of historical romance who doesn’t really “get” her. I *know* I’ve read some of her books, but I can’t even tell you exactly which ones. A couple I’ve enjoyed, and a few were incredibly difficult for me (too many secondary characters, awkward editing so that a scene ends in the middle, switches to another, then goes back to that scene, etc). I am really only inclined to put a newer release of hers on my TBR if the premise really appeals to me.

Dabney Grinnan
Dabney Grinnan
Admin
Reply to  Amanda
01/26/2017 9:01 pm

I have adored many of her books. This one, not so much…..

Blackjack
Blackjack
Guest
Reply to  Amanda
01/26/2017 9:38 pm

She’s a miss for me too and I admit to not getting her popularity.

Sara Elliott
Sara Elliott
Member
Reply to  Amanda
01/27/2017 12:44 pm

Amanda, you’re not alone :) I stopped reading her books when I started getting the feeling that she was making fun of her readers in her books. The characters were atrocious and yet we’re asked to believe they are good people worthy of a romantic story line. I called shenanigans and pulled her off my TBR shelf.

Dabney Grinnan
Dabney Grinnan
Admin
01/26/2017 8:46 am

I just couldn’t get past the premise. It’s like contemps where no one has Google.

Em Wittmann
Em Wittmann
Member
01/26/2017 6:28 am

I felt EXACTLY the same way you did about this book. Though Ward and Eugenia were likeable and entertaining principals – and I very much enjoyed their romance, the whole conflict was so transparent it spoiled the story for me. I hate to shout at people (maybe), but I sometimes wanted to shake Ward and say DUH!!!!!!!! Also, likening Eugenia to Mary Poppins is spot on. Everything about her was a bit too perfect. Honestly, the (I know it’s offensive) phrase “Lady in the streets & a freak in the sheets,” flashed through my mind a few times reading this one. I also don’t love kids in my romance novels – and this book is a good illustration of why: precocious kids are great on paper but tend to be… ahem. Annoying? in real life. I have two of my own & I love them to death! But if you want to write a romance novel about me, I’m pretty sure my parenting (it’s solid – I promise ;) ) doesn’t add to my allure. Ha! So when they feature so prominently in a story I find they pull me away from the romance, and back to the ‘real world.’ I’m not sure any of that makes sense but it does to me & was just another reason I couldn’t enjoy this story as much as I hoped to when I started it.