TEST
I read Maya Banks’ novel Colters’ Woman, the first in the Colters’ Legacy series, for one simple reason. I had never before read a ménage romance, and had to start somewhere to correct the deficiency.
However, I finished the book and still don’t think I’ve read a ménage romance. But more on that later.
The story begins when Adam Colter discovers an unconscious woman near the hunting lodge where he lives with his two brothers. The moment he turns the woman’s body over and sees her face, he starts getting hard, which is a sign that she’s The One. So he carries the (still passed-out) woman inside, where his brothers Ethan and Ryan also recognize that this is who they’ve been waiting for all their lives. Then Adam strips her naked and puts her in the Jacuzzi.
With a novel that was more realistic, I would have been utterly repelled. But here, it couldn’t be clearer that we’re in a fairy tale if the story had started “Once upon a time”. Plus, the pacing is so fast I barely had time to think. Page 1 : Woman. Page 2 : Erection. Page 3 : Brothers. Page 4 : Bathtime. So I went with the flow.
Much as the heroine, Holly, does. Yes, she’s fleeing from her murderous husband and yes, she doesn’t know any of these men, but they’re all sooooo hot. Plus, they make it clear they’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt her. Holly soon trusts them, but after first Adam and then Ethan kisses her, she’s mortified at having responded to both of them. Doesn’t that make her a slut?
No, they’re delighted to inform her. It makes her their woman. This is how they roll in the Colter family.
“Our fathers chose our mother, our grandfathers chose our grandmother.”
Apparently there are three sons in each generation, and they all fall for the same woman. I found this fascinating in a bizarre way, and kept reading from sheer curiosity – what would happen if the sons had different preferences in women? Or if they can’t all live together because their education or work takes them elsewhere?
Unfortunately the story doesn’t get into any of this. Instead, after the men explain to Holly that she is now the sun around which they’ll revolve, they prove it by taking care of her every need. For instance, when she has a headache,
He walked to one of the cabinets, retrieved a bottle of ibuprofen, shook out several pills and handed them to her.
Ah, the bottle had a child-proof lid. For her part, Holly flinches and sobs a lot, to the point where the men think of her as a “skittish colt” and a “frightened fawn”. Naturally, she’s a virgin, since she escaped from her husband before their wedding night (but of course she’s an expert at oral sex and engages in an enthusiastic four-way her first time). She’s also a trust fund baby, meaning she doesn’t need to work.
In other words, she’s perfect for the brothers. I should say something about their characterization, but they’re so thinly sketched they never advance beyond one-dimensional. Adam is the authoritative one, Ethan is the easygoing one and Ryan is the tortured one. That’s all you need to know, since when it comes to sex they’re pretty much interchangeable.
Speaking of the sex scenes, they’re numerous and detailed, if not emotionally moving, and there’s no m/m of any kind. This was another thing I was curious about: did the men decide beforehand on how to maneuver so they didn’t end up accidentally touching each other (and what to do if they did)? Alas, no answer was forthcoming.
Ultimately, Colters’ Woman doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is – not so much a romance as a wish-fulfilment fantasy where you can imagine yourself in the place of beautiful blank-slate Holly, relaxing in a picturesque snow-covered lodge with three gorgeous men to feed, bathe, clothe, protect and make love to you. Especially make love to you. But any readers looking for a deeper or more well-characterized ménage romance may want to look elsewhere – as will I.
Grade: D+
Book Type: Erotic Romance
Sensuality: Hot
Review Date: 15/02/17
Publication Date: 12/2016
Recent Comments …
Yep
This sounds delightful! I’m grabbing it, thanks
excellent book: interesting, funny dialogs, deep understanding of each character, interesting secondary characters, and also sexy.
I don’t think anyone expects you to post UK prices – it’s just a shame that such a great sale…
I’m sorry about that. We don’t have any way to post British prices as an American based site.
I have several of her books on my TBR and after reading this am moving them up the pile.
I'm Marian, originally from Sri Lanka but grew up in the United Arab Emirates, studied in Georgia and Texas, ended up in Toronto. When I'm not at my job as a medical laboratory technologist, I read, write, do calligraphy, and grow vegetables in the back yard.
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I read this one some time ago and, frankly, found it puerile, silly and demeaning. Definitely not my cup of tea. I would have given it a D-/F+.
Sibling ménage is…interesting? I mean there’s no way there’s no touching if you’re having sex with the same person at the same time. It weirds me out.
Also from my limited exposure to ménage there seems to be a lot of double penetration in mmf/mfm and I always thought that was just something that happened in porn because it looks painful????
The guys didn’t even seem to notice each other, let alone accidentally touch, during the sex scenes. My theory is that they share a hive mind, because they don’t have to decide before or during sex about who goes where and when.
What I found a lot more offensive was the fact that the lucky women who are “chosen” as Coltermates don’t get much say in the matter. Once the men take a look at you and bond, that’s it. Any hesitation or reluctance on the woman’s part means the men will sit her down and insist she listen to all three of them while they convince her this is the best thing that’s ever going to happen to her (exchanging cocky grins with each other as they push her closer and closer to giving in). For me, that was a huge turnoff.
Wow. Gross.
The concept of a sibling ménage book just sounds utterly icky to me. It’s basically incestuous.
I reviewed Loving You Easy by Roni Loren, which is a contemp ménage about tech nerds. I gave it a B+ as a solid read. https://allaboutromance.com/book-review/loving-you-easy-by-roni-loren/
I’ve seen lots of recommendations for this one! And it’s so rare to have an Asian male hero. Sadly lacking in romancelandia.
I enjoyed the review of Loving You Easy, and I’ll check this one out. It’s odd, I’m Asian, but until now I never thought how rare Asian heroes were in romance.
Thanks for the rec! Historical menage sounds really interesting. I’ll check that one out.
I read that one quite a bit ago but I like Ms. Chambers/Clancy’s book very much so I feel good telling you I liked it. But the Leigh book was a recent read for me & I’d probably give it a B+. Pretty good stuff and I thought she really sold a relationship I didn’t want to believe was even possible. Happy reading!
That was supposed to say – I like her books very much so I feel good saying I liked this one too. IT’S STILL EARLY. ;)
O. M. G. This review made me giggle.
I haven’t read many menage books but I have 2 I can recommend to you!
Contemporary: Misfits by Garrett Leigh (m/m/m)
Historical: Lord Atwood’s Lovers by Joanna Chambers writing as Eva Clancy
(M/f/m)