The Wayback on Wednesday: Adele Ashworth on her Virgin Widow

Adele Ashworth on her Virgin Widow

I’ve been reading romance novels for a long time. A long time. Now, it’s true that for the first twenty-five years or so of my personal romance reading, there wasn’t any place for discussion of what I liked and disliked as there is now on the Internet. I simply read what was available to me and accepted the stories for what they were.

But today is different. I think it’s wonderful that readers can now gather “virtually” to talk about which books and authors we enjoy and/or dislike. It’s opened up a world of great books, with differing ideas and attitudes, for many of us. But what truly stuns me is how vitriolic many readers are about certain issues — like virginity — in works of fiction. Doesn’t anything go in fiction?

Of course I realize that for most of us liberal-minded, educated women of middle age (like myself), we remember and are very much aware of just how suppressed female sexuality has been through the history of time, and how fortunate we all are to be able to live in a modern world where we can make our own sexual, and reproductive, choices. In fact, we’re generally very vocal about it. I know many of you who become irate when you read about the virgin widow in a romance novel, even in an historical romance, can speak for a lengthy span of time about it. It’s obviously a hot button for a lot of readers. I understand how the heroine’s virginity or lack thereof can make for an absorbing discussion but what I really don’t understand is: why the anger? And I mean I really, really don’t understand it.

I found it interesting to read many of the comments about the “virgin widow” on the latest ATBF Message Board. As most are now aware, my book, Duke of Sin, featured a “virgin widow”… sort of. Laurie offered me this opportunity to clear the air about my book, my thoughts on the issue, and my publisher’s decisions to make changes to the book, and so I’m going to do just that.

First, before I get to specifics from the board, let me say that the heroine in Duke of Sin is not a widow. She poses as a widow. Yes, that’s kind of a spoiler, but in my view a very, very minor one, just as I thought the virginity thing was a minor issue. But because, through most of the book, the reader thinks Vivian, the heroine, is still married, my publisher was concerned that having her engage in sexual acts with the hero would turn off more conservative readers because technically the hero and heroine would be committing adultery. However, if it’s discovered that she’s a virgin when the hero and heroine consummate the relationship, there would obviously be more involved (and in my mind more interesting questions), like … why didn’t her husband sleep with her? What happened to him? Why hasn’t she taken a lover? What is she thinking in terms of her continued virginal state?

I can’t speak for other publishers or writers, but in my case, as I was writing Duke of Sin, I really believed there would be more scuttlebutt regarding the issue of why the heroine’s husband didn’t sleep with her rather than why she was a married/widowed virgin. I thought I was doing really well to come up with something other than the “gay husband” approach; I used opium addiction and impotence instead. But immediately upon the book’s release last November, on the AAR Reviews Board, lots of people jumped in, upset with me and/or my publisher, regarding something I thought was a non-issue. A couple of readers said they read and enjoyed the book to the point of consummation, then “threw it down in disgust.” To say I was floored by this reaction is an understatement. I mean, the hero discovers she’s a virgin after their first encounter, she explains it, and that’s that. After less than a two or three paragraph discussion between the two, it’s hardly mentioned again and the story continues regarding her husband and what happened to him, the hero’s murder charge of five years previously, the bad guys, the kidnapping and extortion plot, the rescue, the near-death scene, the “I love yous” and on and on and on. The hero couldn’t care any less about her virginal state; he’s falling in love with her.

So why were readers so mad? The only answer I can fathom is that readers feel they read too many books with the “ploy” of keeping the heroine’s virginity intact until she meets the hero. I’m sure there are a lot of these stories published each year, but I can guarantee to all of you, without any doubt whatsoever, that there is no “virginity conspiracy” going on in the Big Apple. Sure, in real life virgin widows were probably rare, even in historical times, but ultimately, shouldn’t each book be judged for its own writing, plot, character development, and how the author uses such plot devices? The same so-called ploy may be used in lots of books, but then so are marriage of convenience stories. There isn’t a “marriage-of-convenience conspiracy” going on in New York, either.

I’d like to address a few reader comments that struck me while reading the recent ATBF discussion on the topic of virginal heroines.

First, maggie b.writes:

“I am not someone who demands experience in every heroine and has a “down with virgins” attitude. But this is something that truly sends me over the edge. It seems to send a message that sex of any type — even what would typically be deemed “good girl” sex (surely you are allowed this within a marriage??)– completely “ruins” a woman. The underlying message of the Virgin Widow seems to be that virginity is not just preferred in a romance heroine but required.”

I don’t think authors or publishers intend to send forth a message that sex of any kind “ruins” a woman. Frankly, I don’t think editors, marketers, booksellers, authors, and publishers think very deeply about such a thing. Remember, the sex in a romance novel is a very small part of the whole book. All the work that goes into one particular book is about making that book salable. However, since publishers will publish what the majority of readers buy, in a sense, if books with virginal heroines sell better than books with sexually experienced heroines, then yes, I would say that although virginal heroines aren’t required, simply from a sales standpoint they are likely preferred.

Carol M. follows with:

“What a wonderful explanation of why I absolutely can’t read books with this theme. I’m totally disgusted by the idea that virginity is so important that even if a woman has been married, she should still be a virgin when she meets the hero. I bought Duke of Sin by Adele Ashworth, but didn’t read it when I found out that the publisher had insisted that her widow become a virgin. There is almost no possible plot point in a romance that can make me more angry or make me avoid future books by an author who uses it.”

First, in defense of my publisher, they never insisted that my heroine be a virgin when she meets the hero. What actually happened was that my editor was concerned that as readers learned the heroine’s husband was still alive, in the first chapter, I might add (even though she was posing as a widow to everyone, including the hero), they would be more disconcerted by the heroine committing adultery than by any other factor, especially when readers still knew nothing about the husband or his life with the heroine. I happened to agree with them and so took their suggestion that I rework the plot. What’s not been revealed is that my publisher never said she had to be a virgin widow. I could have created Vivian any way I chose. If her husband was dead – truly dead – then nobody in New York would have blinked at her having a long and satisfying sexual past until she met the hero. In the end I was quite pleased with the changes to the plot and character because I thought they made the heroine’s life more interesting, and it made the hero more interested in her past and why she remained a virgin— something I could delve into more deeply in character study than just an average, everyday sexually experienced widow. Average, everyday sexually experienced widows are fine; Duke of Sin just wouldn’t have been the same story with one of them.

Next, Liz A commented:

“…I usually enjoy Adele Ashworth a lot, but when I read that the heroine was a virgin despite being married for years and years, I felt this was not the book for me. It just doesn’t ring true to me. It just seems forced. there are good reasons why somebody is a virgin, but they never get used. I could understand it in a small community (frontier farm or something like that) with strict moral values, where all the guys were married to people the heroine knows and respects – then, maybe, yes. But an aristocrat in the 19th century? no.”

I think comments like this trouble me the most, not because there are readers who don’t like my books or plots or characters, but because many readers decide before reading a book — and this could be any author’s book(s) — that they won’t like it due to one small and perhaps insignificant thing they’ve heard or read about on an Internet message board.

What concerned me initially with the release of Duke of Sin was that the “virgin widow” issue came out immediately after publication on the AAR Reviews Board. There was a lot of talk about it, and I suspect there were a number of people who might have purchased it to read, or wanted to read it because of the DIK status it received, who then never did because the “virgin widow” plot point was revealed when really no such plot point existed— at least not in the sense that it was described. But what has maybe not been said is that Duke of Sin sold very, very well, and in general reader feedback has been extremely positive. Could this be because the majority of romance novel readers tend to enjoy conservative plots and/or characters? I don’t know, although it’s certainly a possibility. There’s no way of knowing how many AAR board lurkers out there purchased the book because the heroine is a virgin, even a married virgin, but I think it’s food for thought.

I do know that those who frequent and post on the AAR boards do not seem to typify the average American romance novel readers. They can’t possibly when sales say otherwise. And for publishers, sales are everything. Period. Sales are the only real way they have of determining what the public demands. As it’s been said here and elsewhere numerous times, publishing is a business, and what’s selling is what’s printed and put out there for reader consumption. Babies sell, brides sell, millionaires sell, clinch covers sell, rakes sell, aristocrats sell, Regency Historicals sell, and yes, virgins sell, even widowed ones. When, month after month, publishers try new things — like, for instance, flowers on a cover of a non-big-name author’s latest release (because big-name authors can sell by name) — that book won’t sell nearly as well as a cover displaying a bare-chested rake holding a barely clad, and probably virginal, heroine. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But just because lots of readers, and authors, would prefer it, no publisher is going to change it until sales start suggesting flowers, not clinches, is what’s selling. And this goes for virginal heroines.

My personal opinion is that the majority of romance novel readers really want the hero to be the one for the heroine, not just in love and spirit, but in flesh as well. The United States is, by all accounts, a conservative nation, which means we really shouldn’t be all that surprised that the majority of romance novel readers prefer a conservative book. This is neither right nor wrong, it just is. But that certainly doesn’t mean those who work in publishing, from the author to the bookseller and everyone in between, share these conservative attitudes and try to push them on everyone.

In the end I think I, and many other authors I know, will continue to write what we want, creating our own twists to standard plots, with the inspiration and input and suggestions from our marvelous editors and publishers. They know what sells, what the public wants (which is always drifting with the tide), and try to steer us toward writing the best — and the best selling — book possible. We authors know what we love to read and will always try to mesh our ideas with what our publishers think will build our careers, not diminish them.

One final note about conservative readers: My third book was entitled Winter Garden . It’s a luscious story about a sexually experienced, 29-year-old woman who wants a sexual, no-strings-attached relationship with the hero. He, in turn, is in love with her from page one and withholds sexual contact with her until at least half-way into the book when he finally needs to express his love as he gives in to her. When I wrote it, I intentionally wanted to turn the tables on the standard love story, and by all accounts it was a success. Winter Garden won as Best Romance in AAR’s 2001 reader poll, and has received continued praise for being “different” from the standard virginal heroine/rakish hero storyline. Readers still talk about it more than any other book I’ve written. However, just recently, this reader review was posted at Amazon.com, which I have to say I found rather interesting if not a little disheartening:

“This is the first review I have written for Amazon, although I have been with them for many years. But I feel driven to say that this book is trashy. I was expecting a lovely romance (it has a nice title and I guess I was naive.) But there is little or no plot to this book, and it seems to be simply a vehicle for inserting torrid sex scenes, one after another. I have read less erotic stories in Penthouse and Playboy. No doubt there are readers who want that kind of writing, and I don’t object to their having it, but I think it is wrong to label this book a romance novel; it is simply pornography, and should be labeled as such. I have read my share of both and know the difference. I shall avoid this author in the future.”

To each her own, I suppose. But maybe publishers aren’t that far off base when it comes to knowing what readers — in general — want to read in a romance novel.

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Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
09/02/2020 12:04 pm

Wow, what a great article to republish. It covers so many topics that come up again and again when discussing books here.

There were a lot of great points made by Adele Ashworth. One I particularly agree with is that most AAR posters aren’t “typical” readers. They are usually people who have read hundreds, (maybe even a thousand or more) romance novels in their lives. They are not the average reader publishers are targeting who like to pick up a novel or two at the supermarket, Walmart, Costco etc.

I think it was pretty jarring for Ms. Ashworth to come on AAR and see some pretty blistering comments from people who were incensed over a “virgin widow” heroine. Nowadays with Goodreads and the proliferation of comments and reviews authors generally expect some internet outrage even if they don’t agree with it.

I think that as well read, critical consumers of romance novels “we” can sometimes be overly critical of authorial choices and read too much into what a singular character does. If Ms. Ashworth wrote nothing but virginal widows and it was a trope of hers maybe some of the comments would hold more water. As she points out, she writes different characters and in this one book the heroine happened to be a fake widow and a virgin.

I do think it’s perfectly appropriate to call authors out when they mess up or write something that is offensive. I just think that (along with so many other things on the internet) people often read too much into every choice and forget that just because it’s not something they like, it’s not automatically an offense across the board.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Chrisreader
09/02/2020 12:15 pm

I just think that (along with so many other things on the internet) people often read too much into every choice and forget that just because it’s not something they like, it’s not automatically an offense across the board.”

Right. And the problem is, one person can say, “I find this offensive” and another person in the same designated group can shrug and say, “What’s the big deal? I don’t find this offensive at all.” This really puts authors in a bind, especially in today’s heightened call-out culture. Who do you listen to? Your harshest critics? Your biggest fans? Your editors? Yourself? Ultimately, I think authors need to decide what’s best for themselves. Because, while there are actual criticisms that might make sense, large swaths of the internet today are largely filled with a squawking white noise refrain of “racism, racism, racism” that a lot of authors are frankly sick of listening to, especially knowing that most of the loudest critics will never become readers of their work anyway.

Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Nan De Plume
09/02/2020 2:19 pm

I think since I am getting older I have a lot of sympathy for authors who have been around a while, lived through the changing times, walked the walk when it comes to standing up for women and feminist ideals but can get lashed out at for things like having a virgin heroine in a book.

It doesn’t mean they are saying everyone should be one. It doesn’t mean they don’t support women. If it’s not your thing, that’s fine. I know my taste has changed with my age and the young naive heroines I enjoyed when I was young often seem insipid to me now. Unless an author is really writing something truly ignorant or offensive and doubling down on it I just can’t see that level of outrage and vitriol.

Elaine S
Elaine S
Guest
09/02/2020 9:41 am

Interesting column. I just looked back at a review I wrote of Winter Garden in 2001 on Amazon. I gave it two stars and tried to justify that rating carefully. The criticisms I made then are ones I sadly often apply when a book is (for me) riven with inaccuracies, willful ignorance or poor quality writing. I did not and do not consider virginity or lack of to be a hot button” for me. I ask only that it fit in with the time and place in which a story is set, the nature of the characters, the circumstances in which they find themselves, etc. as Nan De Plume writes. The virgin widow trope is actually one with a lot of possibilities; too bad we don’t see it more often.

And to Caz, if a reader decides not to read a book because of something they have read about it, then surely they are responding to a review? Granted, the “review” might be something very brief somewhere in the Ether Land but then why else would readers like me follow AAR if not for trusting the wonderful and well structured reviews we can read here to help us select our reading?

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
Reply to  Elaine S
09/02/2020 12:47 pm

I wasn’t really talking about the well structured reviews you so kindly reference :) I was more thinking of the way outrage snowballs these days so that people who only read a line on Twitter decide not to read a book. There are some one liners that I can understand producing that reaction – “Nazi hero” perhaps. But those are rare.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Caz Owens
09/02/2020 2:07 pm

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Caz.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Nan De Plume
09/02/2020 2:16 pm

There are some one liners that I can understand producing that reaction – “Nazi hero” perhaps. But those are rare.”

And even then, it wouldn’t be beyond some Twitterers (Tweeters?) to write something like “Nazi hero” for a character who isn’t actually a Nazi. (Isn’t “Nazi” one of those catch-all ad hominin attacks now?) Or what about a story about a young man who escaped from Third Reich era Germany but had been a Hitler Youth as a child because he had no choice, but now he’s hiding out in Allied territory or something? I don’t know. I’m not defending anything to do with Nazis, and I certainly wouldn’t blame anyone who couldn’t stomach a scenario like the one I mentioned. But something like “Nazi hero” is an example of a comment I might examine more closely, especially if the reviewer has a history of slapping on knee-jerk remarks like that without giving any context.

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
Reply to  Nan De Plume
09/03/2020 6:05 am

Oh. absolutely. It’s all about context – and it’s hard to get that from 280 characters of outrage.

Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Caz Owens
09/03/2020 2:42 pm

280 characters of outrage. I love it! Probably the best description of twitter I’ve heard yet.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Chrisreader
09/03/2020 3:03 pm

Agreed! I also like to think of Twitter as a platform for “righteous indignation.” ;)

Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Caz Owens
09/02/2020 2:12 pm

I agree that it doesn’t take much to cause a furor on the web for almost anything. I think there are well meaning people who genuinely care and I think there are other people who just like to get behind a keyboard and be outraged about any number of things without having the full story.

I am afraid it has made me be more skeptical because of all the times (and this does not apply to just romance novels) I have been outraged over something that turns out to be partially or completely untrue. We can’t even trust news sites to fully vet their sources a lot of times. Everyone up to and including 60 minutes has had to eat crow over reporting that was debunked.

It has made me tend to err on the side of cynicism I’m afraid, until like Doubting Thomas, I see the evidence for myself.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Chrisreader
09/02/2020 2:34 pm

Yes to all of this, Chrisreader.

Honestly, I haven’t watched the news in years for similar reasons, plus the fact that 99.9% of it is stuff that either doesn’t affect you directly or you can’t do anything about anyway.

Not long after I gave up the news, I read an interesting medical journal article by a Dutch or Norwegian (can’t remember which, and can’t find the article… Grr…) about how regular news consumption has the same effect on the brain as regular junk food consumption has on the body. He said, basically, the news trains you to chase after soundbites, erodes short-term memory ability (because it jumps from one thing to the next without adequate time to process it), wreaks havoc on the attention span, and makes the mind lazy. His recommendation for staying informed was to instead delve deeply into current events/international journals such as National Geographic and trade journals for your particular field. A jeweler, for example, should read all the national and international goings-on through jeweler publications, as the information is both relevant to the reader and gives a snapshot of what’s going on in the wider world through the lens of the profession. I don’t recall if he used this example specifically, but a jeweler who read the trade journals during the Burmese ruby embargo would get the inside scoop of certain world affairs that generic international news isn’t necessarily going to cover, or may cover only superficially.

Tim Ferris, who wrote The Four Hour Workweek, is also a big advocate of tuning out the news rather than tuning into it. He said not only is it a massive time suck, but try to name the last ten big news items of the previous week. Chances are, you probably can’t because a) they’re not immediately relevant to your life and b) you can’t do anything about them anyway.

Neither the neuroscientist or Tim Ferris believed the nightly news is necessary to “stay informed,” and I agree with them. Especially when so many things turn out to be hoaxes anyway, it doesn’t hurt to read broad, in-depth forms of topic coverage as an alternative. And the really important stuff you tend to find out sooner or later anyway- nightly news programs or not.

Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Nan De Plume
09/02/2020 4:33 pm

I don’t love the news formats these days (it’s all some one ranting about their opinion) either and I agree that people want (or are just getting) a quick flash of something rather than a real examination of situations or events. Everyone’s attention span is shrinking it seems.

I saw an article recently that was discussing the decline in viewership for the NBA over the past 10 years. It’s declined about 45% I believe in that time frame, and there were many possible factors. One big one was that it attracts a younger audience, from 18-39 and people of that age are less likely to sit and watch a game. In polls they may list it as their favorite sport but in reality they want to watch highlight clips on the internet.

Chrisreader
Chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
09/02/2020 4:25 pm

Yes, If I had a nickel for every time I saw a friend or family member repost something on Facebook without checking it out first, I’d have a lot of nickels. Half the time the person in the picture didn’t even say the quote in the first place.

Elaine S
Elaine S
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
09/03/2020 11:27 am

My feelings exactly – Dabney and Chrisreader. I refuse to get involved with twitter or facebook and stick to good quality review sites and, like you, do my utmost to check out questionable things by doing research at sites that I hope are honest and sensible. It’s hard in these times to swim through the BS everywhere. I’m just glad I was educated to have a questioning mind and not to accept everything at face value.

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
09/02/2020 7:47 am

because many readers decide before reading a book — and this could be any author’s book(s) — that they won’t like it due to one small and perhaps insignificant thing they’ve heard or read about on an Internet message board.

Plus ça change…

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
09/02/2020 1:10 am

Fascinating article that feels just as fresh today as it probably did when it was published. Thanks for digging this gem out of the AAR archives, Dabney.

It wasn’t too long ago that we had a discussion at AAR on one of the Ask posts about what readers want or don’t want in sex scenes- and the trope of the virgin heroine came up. I think it’s safe to say the debate between a preference for virgin heroines vs experienced heroines is alive and well.

I think the author’s comment here is spot on, both then and now: “My personal opinion is that the majority of romance novel readers really want the hero to be the one for the heroine, not just in love and spirit, but in flesh as well.”

Personally, I’m not terribly fussed one way or the other as long as the heroine’s virginity- or lack thereof- makes sense for the particular time period, setting, and/or individual character circumstances. Like a few commenters at AAR, I give the side-eye to HRs, particularly Regency, where the unmarried middle or upper class heroine cooks up a scheme to ruin herself for… reasons. In that time and place in real life, a woman who didn’t guard her virginity until marriage would have likely had grim prospects. That doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t enjoy the story, but I have to exercise a little more suspension of disbelief than I might want to. On the other hand, if a heroine in her mid-twenties in a contemporary romance is a virgin until she meets the hero, I’d like a somewhat plausible explanation. The reason doesn’t have to be based in religion necessarily, although it can be, but I would expect something.

I can’t wait to read what other AAR commenters have to say about this week’s Wayback on Wednesday.