TEST
I chose this book because of the title – Isle of Lies – isn’t it great? It implies intrigue, seduction, mystery, and an island. Unfortunately, this book has none of those things; the hero and heroine don’t even go near an island! Once again, I found myself searching for a more appropriate title, and in this case I’d go with: “The Coneheads Visit Sixteenth Century Scotland.” It’s bizarre, but surprisingly accurate.
The story actually starts off well. Moira Maclean is 29 and has long given up hope of marriage and children. She’s been living in a convent for years, studying every subject possible and handling all the books. One late night there is a pounding on the door. It’s Ian Cameron of Glencoe, her father’s arch-rival. Ian implies that Moira’s father commanded her to marry him as he was dying, so that their clans could unite and peace would be preserved. Moira quickly agrees, and a marriage and quick consummation take place. Moira and Ian barely have time to dress before her father appears, very much alive. He is furious at the turn of events but reluctantly agrees to end the fighting between their clans and deed part of his property to Moira’s offspring. The latter concession is intended as a joke; no one believes that Moira can have children at her advanced age.
Moira’s father convinces Ian that she is better off left at the convent, so Ian rides off and leaves Moira alone with her shame and anger. Then, about two months later, he’s back. He’s heard rumors that Moira’s life is in danger, and he doesn’t want to take any chances. He’s determined to protect Moira, and besides, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Moira isn’t exactly eager to leave the convent, and after Ian’s initial deception, she’s sure she can’t trust him. But Ian is determined, especially when he finds out that Moira is definitely not barren – she’s expecting his child.
Moira gathers all the important research materials that she can carry, and takes her friend Anne with her. As they ride toward Glencoe with Ian, Moira is determined to treat him with the barest civility. She has Anne act as a spy, hoping she can quietly listen to the talk among Ian’s men and find out why he has decided to take her from the convent. Meanwhile, Anne, begins to get cozy with Ian’s right-hand man, Blair. When the entourage is attacked en route, everyone understands that the danger to Moira’s life is real.
When they arrive at Ian’s castle, Moira and Anne quickly set up a bogus “stitching room” where they will conduct their experiments in secret. Moira continues to rebuff Ian’s advances, because she figures that there is no need to honor her marriage vows when she’s already pregnant. But eventually her curiosity gets the better of her, and she begins to “experiment” with sex. The rest of the book is spent waiting for Moira and Ian to discover who the villain is (there’s no wait for the average reader, who will be able to figure out the villain’s identity as soon as he appears) and waiting for the hero and heroine to admit that they love each other. This also takes longer than expected, since Ian is perfect, and he seems to be able to tolerate Moira’s more annoying qualities.
I’ll say this for Isle of Lies – it’s too bizarre to be boring. Still, it’s a difficult book to get through because the writing style is overly simplistic to the point that it’s a distraction. Every paragraph is filled with simple sentences, which gives the text a comic strip effect (for awhile I found myself scanning every page to see if there was a sentence that started with something exotic, like a preposition). Periodically, there are entire paragraphs consisting of nothing but questions, which is also distracting. I lost count of the times I was pulled out of the story because I was thinking of a better way to phrase a thought, or wondering why anyone would think two paragraphs on the same page consisting soley of questions was a good idea.
Then there are the characters. I had few complaints about Ian, who was the world’s first “new man.” He is almost painfully perfect. This sixteenth century guy has no problem with a wife who does the books for the castle, plans crop rotations, experiments with strange substances, and pretty much tells everyone what to do. Moira knows more about everything than he does – except for sex. But then Ian has magic eyes, which constantly change from blue to green and back again.
Moira and Anne are nowhere near as likable. Their behavior is so odd, they seem to be from another planet. I never could quite figure out how the rest of the characters could tolerate their constant corrections and instructions on how to do everything, because ordinarily people who “know it all” are not the most popular people around. More distracting than their behavior is their language, which is stilted and unnatural. About halfway through the book I figured out why it sounded so familiar; it reminded me of the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live. There are many exchanges like the following:
“We will need to discuss more of love and see what we can determine.”I had to struggle not to hear the dialogue in nasal, monotone voices and think of “parental units.”
“But we know little of it.”
“Then we must find someone who knows more.”
“Does not your husband know more? He was married,” Anne said.
“True, he must know much of love, but do men and women think differently of it? This we must determine.”
I think the basic plot could have been interesting, had the premise been in other hands. But the writing is definitely sub par. I was amused by the know-it-all Conehead aspect of the book, but not in a good way; the tete a tetes were really not supposed to be funny. I suppose other readers might find this book good for a few laughs, but I really can’t imagine buying it just for that purpose.
Grade: D+
Book Type: Renaissance Romance
Sensuality: Warm
Review Date: 28/02/02
Publication Date: 2002
I've been at AAR since dinosaurs roamed the Internet. I've been a Reviewer, Reviews Editor, Managing Editor, Publisher, and Blogger. Oh, and Advertising Corodinator. Right now I'm taking a step back to concentrate on kids, new husband, and new job in law...but I'll still keep my toe in the romance waters.
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Recent Comments …
Yep
This sounds delightful! I’m grabbing it, thanks
excellent book: interesting, funny dialogs, deep understanding of each character, interesting secondary characters, and also sexy.
I don’t think anyone expects you to post UK prices – it’s just a shame that such a great sale…
I’m sorry about that. We don’t have any way to post British prices as an American based site.
I have several of her books on my TBR and after reading this am moving them up the pile.