the ask@AAR: If you could give your partner (or your dream date) one romance novel, what would it be?
In 2010, when I’d fallen deep deep deep into the wonderful world of romance novels (as an adult), my husband got curious. “What do you love about them?” he asked. “To begin with, everything,” I answered. As I read more, he commented on how happy I was when I finished a book I’d especially enjoyed. He claimed–and was right–that reading romance had improved our, ah, private time. He’d stare at me, in some annoyance, as I laughed aloud while we were quietly reading. Finally he said, “I’d like to read one.”
After giving it a ridiculous amount of thought, I gave him The Duke of Shadows. He devoured it. After that, he read Lord of Scoundrels, and, still his favorite, What I Did for a Duke. He began to recommend books to his patients and hectored–unsuccessfully–our sons to read one. (“It will help with with women. I PROMISE.“)
He read about ten of them and then, he was done. He returned to his beloved mysteries–there isn’t a Jack Reacher book the man hasn’t read–and that was that.
But his reading romance did help him with this woman, and, I suspect, with his female patients as well as his daughter. It altered, in lovely ways, how he saw sex and love. Romance novels for the win!
Today, if I were offering him a romance novel for the first time, I’d probably suggest The Madness of Miss Grey–he’d find the medical stuff interesting–, Bench Player–he does love sports–or, given his love of mysteries, The Madness of Sunshine.
But really there are so many.
Not all men are interested in reading romance although it’s clear from our commentators here that many do. But for those who don’t whom we wish would, what would you recommend and why?
Years ago, I read a book in which a man picks up the romance a woman he’s interested in was reading (he met her, she put the book down, he picked it up). He was … not scandalized, but surprised and intrigued by what was in the book. I think he picked up a few hints from it.
My dad gave me my first Georgette Heyer romance years ago. He read them when he was young on the ferry to work. After he *long wince here* tore the covers off so no one could see what he was reading. I’d recommend Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie because it made me laugh out loud!
This reminded me of an ex-boyfriend who had never read a “woman’s magazine” and after discussing them with me picked one up to read at work one day and was (hilariously) scandalized by some of the articles. Maybe scandalized is too strong a word, but boy was he surprised. I think he definitely enjoyed reading it though, lol. He had no idea how blunt and unabashed the articles and “help” offered in them was. I think he felt like he stumbled onto to some big feminine secret of what we all were demurely reading on public transit, in coffee shops etc. I like to think I gave him a little look into the female mind and that even us “proper” looking ladies aren’t all work and no play.
I actually read the one Judy Blume teen book I had never read when I was young because he said it made an impact on him when he was young. So as an adult I finally read “Then Again Maybe I Won’t” and saw the pre-teen boy viewpoint I wasn’t interested in at that age.
Love Ms. Blume. She changed the world with her words.
My spouse is a huge reader but reads non-fiction almost exclusively. In the spirit of “what is all the excitement about?” he – unbeknownst to me – picked up a random romance at a bookstore about 10 years ago (why he didn’t ask for a rec or at least read something on my shelves I’ll never understand). He chose based the cover art. It was an awful example of the genre – just really poor writing. I doubt I’ll ever get him to read another. There is too much way more interesting (to him) non-fiction on his tbr. But if I were going to recommend a romance to him it’d be something romance-adjacent like Sara Donati’s Into the Wilderness or Sharon Kay Penman’s Here Be Dragons.
My husband doesn’t necessarily seek out romance novels, but will happily ready anything I put in front of him. Also, he occasionally stumbles across a romance hybrid (urban fantasy romance,etc.) and then passes it on to me. I’m not sure he’s read any historical romances beyond some Heyer and a few others. I generally recommend books to him that I know are in his wheelhouse already, like urban fantasy romances. He loves Linnea Sinclair and Lois McMasters Bujold, for example, and has picked up quite a few sci-fi roms on his own. He has no problems with m/m stories either, and loved KJ Charles’ A Charm of Magpies series, and years ago read Butterfly Tattoo and Zero at the Bone with me. Recently I downloaded The Engineer after reading Caz’s review, and he read it and the bought and read the next one (The Gangster) before I even read the The Engineer. :-)
I’ve told him about Stella Riley and he has The Marigold Chain on his Kindle now. My husband is basically a reader–he reads all the time and most genres, although sci-fi and fantasy are longstanding favorites of his. Unlike me, he has a wonderful memory for detail, and rarely forgets a book. I feel very fortunate to have someone to share my books with and discuss them with, and someone who says, “Hey, I just read this great urban fantasy book with romance in it. You’ll like it!”
How wonderful to have someone who shares your reading interests!
The husband and I had a really-kind-of-awesome romance ourselves and it was built around ballroom dancing, so if I thought there was the remotest chance he’d read a romance I’d gently suggest one with that setting. His sports before we met including rock climbing, mountaineering, and bicycle races, so one with a main character involved in one of those sports would be my second try.
The truth is, he doesn’t read fiction at all. I’m positive he’s never read any of mine! He does like a good romantic-comedy movie, though, and will watch anything with dancing.
I promote romance-reading all the time, mostly on the basis of ‘everybody needs a happy ending.’ I suspect a lot of men have been conditioned to escape stress via sports or violence so they seek out entertainment with those elements. The DH certainly does. He’s watched every revenge movie ever made. TG for the man-cave.
My husband is absolutely uninterested in romance novels. This does not bother me: we have plenty of shared interests. He knows I read romance, but to him that’s like him knowing I like eggplant parmigiana—there’s no way he’s going to try it regardless of how much I like it. Just as well, really: if I got him to read a romance novel, he’d probably want me to try playing golf! Um, no thanks.
This is a really interesting Ask! My DH has never read a romance novel to my knowledge and has never shown any interest in what I read. He is not a big reader in any event and tends to like nonfiction or the novels by Bernard Cornwell or Dudley Pope (both of whose works I also enjoyed) and others of that sort. However, he enjoyed all of the Catherine Cookson TV adaptations plus Poldark, Outlander, Jane Austen and many other dramatisations of historical or contemporary romance. He even enjoyed Bridgerton more than I did. If I could get him to read just one romance, I would love him to read Outlander. I know it’s not strictly categorised as “romance” but it has a very strong romantic element in it and once hooked, it leads into a sweeping saga of (so far) 8 volumes plus the wonderful Lord John books. I don’t think he looks down on my romance reading at all – he’s just not interested.