the ask@AAR: Do you watch The Bachelor? Or other reality TV shows?

I am blessed with a lovely daughter who, despite all attempts on my part to discourage her, keeps encouraging me to watch The Bachelor (and its gender flipped twin, The Bachelorette.) I don’t watch any reality shows, not ones where people make chess pieces out of biscuits, almost die on far away islands, ponder the need for bigger breasts/lips/hair, or get jiggy on top of the covers. (I do keep up with The Bachelor by reading Elyse’s fabulous, precise recaps of the show at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. That way, when my daughter texts me to ask why AAR has never reviewed host Chris Harrison’s romance novel, I know what she’s on about.)

On this week’s episode, the bevy of beauties vying for the love of the current bachelor, Matt Jones–who is HOT–tried to win him over by writing love scenes starring them and Matt. Most of them, by all accounts, had to be bleeped out to the point of mystery. I have to say that, in theory, I could see this being sexy one on one–who wouldn’t like to be serenaded with a love story starring them as the sole focus of desire? If it were, of course, done well and didn’t mention any acts one had no interest in doing.

I understand why my daughter loves these shows. In a way, they’re the TV version of the London high season where beautiful women/men compete for the biggest catch. To watch the finale where two gorgeous people profess love, adoration, admiration, and a sheer joy of having found someone, is an exercise in faith. We live in an era where almost half of us are single. And while many are happily so, a majority would still like to find that certain someone. Seeing love win, even staged love, taps into that dream.

Do you watch this show? If so, what do you love about it? If you don’t watch this one, but watch other reality shows, what calls to you about the show(s)?

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Becky
Becky
Guest
01/23/2021 6:55 pm

I don’t watch any reality TV. Cooking shows make me way too hungry. Decorating shows make me jealous. I tried the singing shows, but got bored quickly. I’d rather read a book, watch a scripted show, or a documentary. This year I’ve watched way more tv than normal, and I am glad it’s there as an option.

hreader
hreader
Guest
01/23/2021 1:16 pm

Our family has watched The Amazing Race together. I enjoyed it because, although it has some reality-TV cheesiness, we could vicariously travel and still snark about some of the pairs.

nblibgirl
nblibgirl
Guest
01/23/2021 11:57 am

I occasionally dip into the “competition” shows with my Mom. She loves the Great British Bake Off for example, and I enjoy the obvious talent and stories about the bakers and the teamwork often portrayed. But I’m not much of a TV watcher left to my own devices. My husband used to watch Survivor but I was done with it as an idea after the first season. I was shocked to find I really liked One To Watch last year, despite it’s “Bachelor” setting because I do not watch these particular shows at all. They are fake and shallow from beginning to end; and while my family likes to tell me to lighten up and go with the flow once in a while, I can’t help but feel that (season after season after season) they are actually harmful. To wit: one former US president and the people who thought his “business acumen” – despite serious and glaring FACTS to the contrary – were just what this country needed.

Tina
Tina
Guest
01/23/2021 12:19 am

I’m super into Bake Off (have watched most of the seasons multiple times). It’s just pleasant and calming and the contestants are always supportive of one another. And my brother and sister and I all enjoy baking as well, so the three of us always have strong opinions on whose bakes we think sound like something we’d want to make (or just eat).

I’ve made my boyfriend watch it with us and while I wouldn’t say he’s hooked on it, he definitely gets more invested than I ever would have expected!

Outside of that, not so much, although for a while my sister was really really into The Masked Singer.

Evelyn North
Evelyn North
Guest
Reply to  Tina
01/23/2021 8:14 am

Love Bake Off – so relaxing!

Manjari
Manjari
Guest
01/22/2021 5:05 pm

I have never actually watched a season of The Bachelor but my college-aged daughter loves it and when she is home then she, my husband and my teenage son watch it. I have seen some in that I may be going in/out of the family room or sometimes grab my laptop and plop down on the couch just to be with the rest of them. Maybe it is because I don’t truly watch but the thing that has struck me is that it feels so slow! I’ve watched some episodes at the end of a season that are 2 hours long and in the end not much conclusion has occurred. Also, the bachelor’s wishy-washiness typically annoys me. And spending a night with 3 different ladies is just gross.

I watch very little reality TV and prefer scripted dramas or comedies. However, I did watch the first 15 seasons of American Idol (when it was on FOX but didn’t restart when it rebooted on ABC). I enjoyed it less as the years went on but something in me wanted to stick it out until the end. The early years were new and fun but in later years I think it became too much about the judges and the format got stale. I still love Kelly Clarkson as both a singer and a person – I was pregnant with my first child the year she won!

I have enjoyed some shows on Food Network or HGTV. I love Chopped Junior – those kids are so adorable! Sometimes I watch regular Chopped too. I watched several seasons of Cupcake Wars and have occasionally watched Iron Chef. On HGTV, I like Love It or List It and House Hunters. For the most part though, these are not shows I watch on a regular basis but more an episode here and there while exercising or eating lunch.

oceanjasper
oceanjasper
Guest
Reply to  Manjari
01/22/2021 8:55 pm

AI was a show that was for many years phenomenally successful despite all the things the online fans hated about it! Hence why I went to great trouble to watch it here in Australia (with a horrific time difference) just to enjoy the hilarity of the recaps and message boards. It feels like a century ago now. But I did get a lot of leisure time back when the show faded and the world moved on to Twitter/facebook and I decided to pass….

Susan/DC
Susan/DC
Guest
01/22/2021 3:19 pm

A friend of mine’s daughter was on The Bachelor and wound up as the one he chose. They got engaged but eventually broke up, as the vast majority of the couples on these shows do. My friend had watch parties each week, and I was torn between hoping her daughter wouldn’t get a rose so I could stop watching the show and thinking that of course she’d get a rose because she was such a fantastic young woman. In the end the bachelor agreed with me about how great she was but also, as I noted, it didn’t work out.

Carrie G
Carrie G
Guest
01/22/2021 12:54 pm

I’ve watched few baking/cooking shows. Personally I’d much rather watch “NAILED IT!” which really is a reality show with contestants who really don’t know how to cook being given projects way too difficult for the time allowed, and then having fun with the results. I’ve also watched a few seasons of The Voice and enjoyed it. There really are amazingly talented people out there, and it makes me wonder how some famous artists ever got started since they have less talent than many of these contestants. I feel like these types of shows are “contests” in the same spirit as pie contests at the local fair. They are more about comparing skills instead of pitting personalities against each other.

I have no interest in the The Bachelor(ette), Survivor, or any other reality show that is a far from reality as you can get,and that revels in someone else’s discomfort.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/22/2021 2:39 pm

I forgot I did watch the first season of Survivor back when it was all the rage. I firmly believe Kelly could have won that one vote she needed at the end if she she had argued better at the final council. She made it to the end because she was a good competitor and won immunity trophies, Richard was just a manipulator.

Carrie G
Carrie G
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/23/2021 12:04 pm

I guess it’s real in that they are stuck somewhere, but they are surrounded by camera crews the entire time and is that reality? The premise of shows like this is the voyeuristic aspect of watching people being made uncomfortable and often going after each other verbally. A friend of mine said it was a great look at human behavior, but I still think the artificial setting makes the reactions suspect. And we know how television is all about ratcheting up emotions and drama.

I mean, it’s just my opinion. I don’t enjoy watching people pitted against each other emotionally as opposed to judging a specific skill, like cooking. It feels like a weird set up, like people enjoying someone else’s emotional suffering. That works with fiction, but feels creepy in real life.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
01/22/2021 12:19 pm

I don’t watch reality television for the reasons a lot of people mentioned here: the scripted phoniness, the over the top cheese, etc. Not unless you count occasional viewings of Antiques Roadshow and Finding Your Roots as watching reality television.

Also, for reality stuff that’s actually “real,” I immensely enjoy behind-the-scenes interviews, featurettes, and documentaries of favorite films. Heck, I’ll even watch the occasional behind-the-scenes stuff for films I didn’t like or have no intention of watching. Everything from fun facts about how the props were a nuisance to which actors did their own stunts to larger-picture issues like how certain films were groundbreaking and why is sure to get my attention. One of my absolute favorite innovations in the film world are DVD audio commentaries because the good ones include all these things and more. Originally, they were added to DVDs to make them more appealing than then-competitor VHS, but they became an art all on their own. When a lot of DVDs quit having them, film students complained because they are such a treasure trove of fascinating information. So now, a lot of DVDs are doing them again. In fact, there is a website, DVD Talk, that rates audio commentary tracks as well as the main content itself. Definitely worth checking out if you’re a fellow film enthusiast.

To me, hearing a director tell funny anecdotes is far more entertaining than so-called “reality television.” In fact, YouTube has some countdown lists of DVD commentaries that got “too real,” such as directors and writers arguing with each other during their commentary. Lol! Now that’s some reality tv-worthy high drama!

oceanjasper
oceanjasper
Guest
Reply to  Nan De Plume
01/22/2021 8:49 pm

Yes, I always check out the behind the scenes docos as well, especially for historical dramas (usually British TV series) because I love finding out how they recreated wartime London in modern Dublin, etc. or details about the period clothes and set decorations.

chacha1
chacha1
Guest
01/22/2021 11:59 am

I watch any reality show that has to do with dancing or theater, including ‘Encore’ and ‘On Pointe’ on Disney+. The husband watches ‘Ninja Warrior’ etc so I occasionally catch episodes of those. :-) As to ‘The Bachelor,’ etc., I only read the recaps on SBTB. Dating shows do not speak to my dreams (and probably wouldn’t have even if I were not old enough to be the cast members’ parent).

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
01/22/2021 10:29 am

Oh – I forgot to include Gogglebox, which I watch occasionally, usually because Cazlet#2 will put it on. It’s basically a show consisting of people – usually family groups or friends – watching TV shows and their reactions to them. Written down, that looks incredibly dull, but it’s frequently hilarious and one of those shows you can’t stop watching once you’ve started!

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
01/22/2021 9:48 am

I’ve never watched either version of the Bachelor/Bachelorette and have a (probably unreasonable) annoyance with it. Everything about it seems so fake and cheesy to me. I know I’m the entirely wrong age bracket for it as well, along with the Kardashians whom I also loathe.

I am old enough to have watched the first season of MTV’s The Real World back when people did act “real” on it and before it became a necessity for everyone on it to act like a ‘character” or the biggest idiot possible.

I did watch the first few seasons of Project Runway and Top Chef because I enjoy seeing how talented people work. Like The Real World it didn’t take long for them to become overly theatrical and cheesy (IMHO).

My problem with much “reality” TV is how scripted, stilted, cheesy and fake so much of it is. I find myself cringing at the bad acting and delivery and goofy boasting.

I once spoke with someone who had been on one of those made for cable shows where a certain type of antique or collectible dealer goes out to hunt down rare finds and make deals and they told me about how so much of that was fake and scripted (they “sold” something to the lead on the show who “bartered” with them on the price etc. etc.) which didn’t surprise me at all.

I think another big problem for me is that in real life I tend to avoid loud, boasting people who crave attention. I find them draining and cringey and reality shows just seem ridden with them. It’s just a big nope for me.

I did think of one “reality” show I enjoyed if you can call it that. Survivorman- even though I am the least outdoorsy gal you will ever meet. The host seemed incredibly knowledgeable, did everything by himself and it was about the least glamorous show you could imagine. (I later read the show’s “star” and his wife actually went out and lived in the woods without even metal tools for a year or so!) If I survive any disaster that comes, I will thank Les Stroud and his practical tips!

oceanjasper
oceanjasper
Guest
01/22/2021 9:14 am

I love The Great British Sewing Bee. I don’t sew myself, but I find it fascinating to watch people make everything from kids’ party costumes out of tents to made-to-measure couture ballgowns in a race against the clock. I watched American Idol back in its heyday, but that was because I loved the hilariously snarky recaps of sites like Television Without Pity. I like a couple of British real estate shows because the housing stock in the UK is much more interesting and historic than here in Australia.(Those shows are why I bought a midcentury house and renovated it.) But I’ve never watched The Bachelor/Farmer Wants a Wife type of artificial drama; the snippets I’ve come across make me cringe, like sex in audiobooks. I’d much rather get my romance fix from honest fiction.

Manjari
Manjari
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/22/2021 4:42 pm

TwoP was a fabulous site and I miss it too!

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
01/22/2021 9:02 am

God, no. I don’t think it’s on over here (thankfully!). I’m not a big reality TV watcher, although I’ve watched Bake Off. Drag Race UK has just started up again – we all watch that, and last year hubby discovered Car S.O.S, a show where the presenters restore classic cars in response to audience requests – the owners have usually been unable to restore or complete the restorations due to illness or other circumstances, and their family members write in and ask the guys to take on the job, completely unbeknownst to the car’s owner, The two presenters have great chemistry and while all I know about cars is where to put the key, how to point it in the riht direction and how to change gear, I love looking at the finished projects. But that’s it – anything celebrity led (and I say ‘celebrity’ although they’re usually people I’ve never heard of) is a big nope.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Caz Owens
01/22/2021 12:07 pm

anything celebrity led (and I say ‘celebrity’ although they’re usually people I’ve never heard of) is a big nope.

Can I second that big nope? They totally ruined the reboot of Whose Line Is it Anyway? for me by clogging up half of nearly every dang episode with celebrities who have no experience with improv, so the regular cast has to play the worst, tamest games with them so they don’t feel excluded. Or, even more annoying, the studio makes these really talented improv actors come up with songs on the spot singing these second-rate celebrities’ praises. Ugh… Colin Mochrie, one of my favorite improv actors, hates the new format too. I agree with him when he said that the only celebrities who should be on the show are people with actual improv experience so they’re actually entertaining and not being humiliated or just being there to artificially inflate ratings. Like, it really worked well when they had Robin Williams and Whoopi Goldberg on the old show because they could actually play the games and were hysterical.

Also, I enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune but have totally given up on the celebrity version because a) So far, I’ve only recognized two of the celebrities, and b) Most of them stink at the game, which is painful to watch.

Evelyn North
Evelyn North
Guest
01/22/2021 8:26 am

My daughters enjoyed Bachelor watch parties in college – and they do sound pretty fun. I tried to join them to watch a few this year when college was at home and I have to say if I checked my brain at the door, it wasn’t horrible. I just couldn’t get over the fact that the bachelorette kissed everyone – like right after each other. I kept asking if they are allowed to brush their teeth or do a mouth wash in between guys. Call me old-fashioned but this was yucky! I asked one too many times and got kicked out of the room.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Evelyn North
01/22/2021 9:49 am

Thank you for saying this! I find the whole thing icky.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/22/2021 2:40 pm

I find the idea of kissing a bunch of strangers in a row odd and icky I confess. Has there ever been one lasting relationship from the Bachelor? I think there has from the Bachelorette.

DiscoDollyDeb
DiscoDollyDeb
Guest
01/22/2021 6:42 am

No to the Bachelor/Bachelorette, anything featuring Kardashians, or any “enforced-proximity” show (Survivor, Big Brother, etc.). But I do like the cooking shows (Top Chef, Great British Bake-Off, Chopped). My daughters also watch bridal shows (none of them are married yet, so perhaps it’s wish fulfillment) and sometimes I’ll watch episodes of Say Yes to the Dress or Four Weddings along with them—but I don’t actively seek out those shows.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  DiscoDollyDeb
01/22/2021 9:51 am

I forgot about Say Yes To The Dress which I used to watch even though it seemed like they were selling the same seven dresses some seasons.

Gotta love those people who will drop 10-20 thousand on a see through piece of lace dress with cutouts from Pnina Tornay.

Sonia
Sonia
Guest
01/22/2021 6:39 am

I like watching cooking shows like MasterChef or My Kitchen Rules. Also home improvement ones like My House Rules or The Block (the Australians really know how to do these things!) When the first edition of Big Brother premiered in my country, I did watch but from then on, any show about people wanting to be on TV stopped being interesting and I haven’t watched any for years – I’d rather read! At least from the cooking and decoration ones I get to see the results of their efforts :)

Elaine S
Elaine S
Guest
01/22/2021 5:27 am

Errr, no. Never heard of it and not sure it’s shown in the UK unless on Netflix?? I did look it up on google to see what it’s about and it’s not something I would watch. I really dislike reality shows other than Master Chef or other cookery competitions and then I usually record them to watch by myself at 5.30 in the morning before the other half appears. Strictly Come Dancing, which is HUGE in the UK is something my husband and I loathe because of the inane and insane cheering and clapping from the audience to the point you can’t hear yourself think. Yes, I must be an old-fashioned, opinionated, straight-laced and un-woke old lady ;-)

Marian Perera
Marian Perera
Guest
Reply to  Elaine S
01/22/2021 8:58 am

I must be even more old-fashioned than you, Elaine, because I don’t have a TV or Netflix. So I can’t/don’t watch any of these shows.

I did once see a reality show called Temptation Island years ago, but it just didn’t entertain me. Can’t say these other reality shows pique my interest either. Like Sonia, I’d prefer to read.

Nan De Plume
Nan De Plume
Guest
Reply to  Marian Perera
01/22/2021 12:09 pm

I don’t have a TV or Netflix. So I can’t/don’t watch any of these shows.

Believe me, you’re not missing much.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/22/2021 4:37 pm

Netflix has some great shows and it just encourages my need to binge watch things.

chrisreader
chrisreader
Guest
Reply to  Dabney Grinnan
01/23/2021 10:58 am

That’s on my to watch list.

Caz Owens
Caz Owens
Editor
Reply to  Elaine S
01/22/2021 10:30 am

I hate Strictly, too. The music is complete crap and it’s inappropriateness drives me nuts.