10 Things Barbara Cartland Taught Me About Romance
I always brag about reading Georgette Heyer and Laura London at age 13 – and it’s true. Early on I developed a taste for the good stuff. What I mention far less often is my undeniable huge (as in gigantic, oversized, and extra large) appetite at that age for Barbara Cartland.
During my teenage years I devoured Dame Barbara. And, considering her huge backlist, that amounted to one major league crap-load of pink-tinged dreck…er, Cinderella stories. And, considering that she wrote the same story featuring the same characters over and over and over and over, that added up to young Sandy being heavily inundated with the lady’s ideas about romance and gender. (Shiver.)
But, heck, I’m betting that a lot of us did our time in Cartland-land. And, undoubtedly, we all learned some important lessons, right?
- Heroine Requirement Number One: Virginity. Completely non-negotiable. You must be a perfect example of shining innocence to capture the heart of a duke, earl, marquis, or even the occasional prince.
- Heroine Requirement Number Two: A tiny, heart-shaped face. This always stopped me. I mean, how in the heck can you have a head with a dip in the center?
- Heroine Requirement Number Three: Large eyes. While carefully avoiding troll territory (who, as we all know, had eyes as big as dinner plates), your eyes must be impossibly large for your tiny, heart-shaped face.
- Heroine Requirement Number Four: Small hands. Small hands are necessary for your duke, marquis, earl, or even the occasional prince to muse: “Such a small hand, yet it is large enough to hold my whole world.”
- Heroes always have dark hair. Blonde hair (frequently accompanied by a weak chin and beady eyes and may, in fact, describe number eight) is a sign of weakness in a man. In a heroine, blonde hair, while not required, is acceptable.
- Marry up. Dukes, marquises, earls, or even the occasional prince are the only way to go. What? You say there aren’t that many dukes, marquises, earls, or the occasional prince where you live? A Kennedy or a Rockefeller will do just as nicely.
- When picking your guy, don’t worry about that selfish mistress or wicked stepmother. Rest assured that the beauty of your heart-shaped face, impossibly large eyes, and small hands, when combined with your shining innocence and goodness, will triumph.
- There is always an evil, older roué who has designs on your virtue. And that’s okay because it’s those exact designs that will cause your duke, marquis, earl, or even the occasional prince to Come to His Senses and realize that in your small hand you hold his entire world. When he rescues you Just in the Nick of Time, of course.
- Keep a chair handy. Chairs are essential since you can grasp the back of it to keep from falling when you are swooning from your hero’s kiss.
- Never forget, all rakes want to be reformed. As they proceed through their jaded, selfish life serial-seducing woman after woman, they are all waiting for the virtuous young woman who possesses numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4 to Save Them from Themselves. (Warning: This rule alone is guaranteed to screw you up for a good 15 years.)
So, how about you? Did you read Barbara Cartland back in the day? Did you survive? Are there any other authors who may have messed with your head in your formative years?
Note: Yes, that is Helena Bonham Carter who does, indeed, seem to possess a heart-shaped face, large eyes, and small hands, portraying a Cartland heroine. There were a few TV movies made back in the day, with one starring Hugh Grant (I Am Not Making This Up). I think I even remember one with Diana Rigg playing the hero’s wicked stepmother.
– Sandy AAR
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ok, after a few hours of obsessing, found the name on the same website, http://barbaracartlandbooksandcoverart.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-10-27T07%3A37%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
it’s “”Love in the Dark””- and when I found a snippet of the text elsewhere, I realized why I… had… stopped reading ….Barbara Cartland…..Not worth re-reading for the inspirational weight-loss theme, which is what had stuck in my head,.
Oh well!
I have been laughing out loud reading this piece and the comments- feels like a junior high school reunion here!! I also have been looking for the book that Kristen mentions-Don’t know how to do the copy-in so it has the indent and line, (so I copied it below) but I ended up here by googling BC heroine swims and loses weight and found her comment!
Any ideas what this book was? i believe she was tending a man who had been temporarily blinded and so when his bandages came off, his first sight of her was a nice slim one.
Interesting how BC’s frequent weight-loss makeovers (and Judith Krantz’s great one in Scruples) have become superceded by the just-need-to-wear-nicer-clothes ones in contemporary romances, whereas we have contemporary reality tv shows which focus on the weight loss makeovers. Hmmmmm. What does it all mean?
In any case, many many thanks to everyone for such a wonderful thread!!
“”Kristen says:
September 21, 2010 at 12:13 am (Quote)
As a high-schooler, I read lots of Cartland, as well as Hill. And Heyer. They were older paperbacks and cheaper at the USB – and that mattered on my budget! Thoroughly enjoyed all of them at the time, but I only held onto the Heyer.
Another one of the “changed out of all recognition” plots had the heroine staying with her invalid guardian(?) in Italy, eating his restricted diet and swimming (in just her shift!) every evening. Somehow, she didn’t notice she was losing weight! (Although her maid did a valiant job taking in her wardrobe on a daily basis…) I don’t think there was a husband, but she was shocked when the man of her dreams thought she was beautiful.””
I found it, two hours of insanity and I found it. It is called The Unknown Heart. http://barbaracartlandbooksandcoverart.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html
Wow, I can totally relate. What a fun account, and what fun posts! I too am a huge hopeful romantic ;-) and I too devoured all the Barbara Cartland books when I was in junior/high school (1983-1984+). My favourite pasttime was to get to the local public library, and take out the maximum number of books (5 at the time) and get home after carefully choosing them, now having to decide, which order would I read them in. As in, this one first, that one next, etc. It was like treasure ;-) I still feel that way about books, but I’ve grown up from the innocent Barbara Cartland books ;-) Thanks for reminding us of the “”good old days””
That was the only Barbara Cartland novel I ever read, “”A Hazard of Hearts.”” I think I loved it so much because of the movie. About five years ago, I bought a VHS copy of the movie on ebay. It was great. :D
And if you think reading a lot of BC will screw you up, imagine growing up thinking Helena Bonham Carter was the essence of innocence and virtue, only to later see her in Fight Club and kill Sirrius in Harry Potter. Years of therapy!
My teeny heart used to sigh over Marcus Gilbert, who was supposed to be the epitome of Cartland’s heroes.
I loved the book covers by Francis Marshall and would hunt the Cartland books down in second-hand bookstores. http://www.flickr.com/photos/leifpeng/sets/72157622285233084/
I was more interested in the protagonists’ name, and the little travelogues Cartland wrote in the beginning of the novel than the plot.
Guilty!!!! I devoured BC when I was jr. high, but luckily grew out of it, lol. If I could make one addition to your list:
11. It’s All About the Dress: BC spent a great deal of time describing the dresses that made the proverbial Scales Drop from The Hero’s Eyes. To this day, I love a good makeover in my romances, LOL!
Ah yes, Barbara Cartland. I, too, read my way through much of her oeuvre in my teens. The ones I really enjoyed were her earlier books, contemporaries when she wrote them – about debutantes, presentations at court, teas and balls in the 1930’s – quite racy for the times. Of course to me, reading these in the late 60’s – early 70’s, they were historical. I lost my taste for her later on, but still remember how much I enjoyed her early work.
Judith
I have a confession to make. As far as I know, I have *never* read a Barbara Cartland novel.
Will they take away my ‘historical romance writer’ badge for admitting that publically?
I read (snuck ;)) other horrible pink and purple, virgin with a heart shaped face authors on occasion but my mom didn’t read them, so my access was sporadic at best. Instead, I spent my youth reading Austen and Ray Bradbury and Margaret Lawrence and Arthur C. Clarke.
Clearly, my childhood was lacking a certain something. Probably explains why I’m not married to a duke/earl/marquis – I never learned the BC knack of snaring one. lol.
Elyse
I remember Cartland appearing on the Phil Donahue show in her boa and diamonds. Her repeated statement was that we as a society must protect the virginity of our young unmarried women. And that a good husband must have some sexual experience before entering the marriage state.
When one audience member questioned about Ms. Cartland on where men were supposed to get the “”experience.”” Cartland replied the answer to the $64 question – “”with women who were older and free to engage in such encounters.””
One could surmised from her statements that after 20 years of marriage the former young virgin was now free to engage with younger men in order to give them the “”sexual experience”” requirement and they could now enter into marriage with their own virgin.
Did I laugh after trying to figure that one out – you bet!
And yes Cartland was a step grandmother to Princess Diana.
Marcus Gilbert played the dashing hero, Justin St. Vulcan, who saves the lovely, virginal heroine played by Helena Bonham Carter. It had a great stellar cast which included Diana Riggs, Christopher Plummer and Stewart Granger.
It was shown a few days after Christmas in 1986 or 1987, IIRC. I found out about the TV movie by being on a flight from DC to Tampa. Some one had left the Cleveland Plain Dealer(?) newspaper in the seat pocket. My husband and I and another couple were on the flight together and we were all separated. So I read it and knew what I would be doing that Sunday evening! Taped it and wore out the tape watching it so much. Then lost it after tapes were passe. Thought about getting it in DVD format but haven’t.
Was never a big BC fan for some reason. She never seemed to be on my radar though I did read a couple of her romances but felt they were too sweet.
The List reads like a formula. Must possess these qualities in order for the story to qualify as a romance. BC churned out a lot of books so apparently the formula works.
As a high-schooler, I read lots of Cartland, as well as Hill. And Heyer. They were older paperbacks and cheaper at the USB – and that mattered on my budget! Thoroughly enjoyed all of them at the time, but I only held onto the Heyer.
Another one of the “”changed out of all recognition”” plots had the heroine staying with her invalid guardian(?) in Italy, eating his restricted diet and swimming (in just her shift!) every evening. Somehow, she didn’t notice she was losing weight! (Although her maid did a valiant job taking in her wardrobe on a daily basis…) I don’t think there was a husband, but she was shocked when the man of her dreams thought she was beautiful.
Another teen fan that KEPT all of her BC’s! Check out my blog for pictures and story plots.
I started with Cartland and Victoria Holt and then found the great Heyer! Loved Francis Marshall’s beautiful illustrations which is another reason Cartland’s paperbacks were so popular!
For those of you with a curious bent–head on over to IMDb–
There were 5 (yes 5!!!) of BC’s books made into TV movies:
A Hazard of Hearts–the clip above is from this
Duel of Hearts– Michael York is bad guy
The Lady and the Highwayman–the one with Hugh Grant as the hero
The Flame is Love–Timothy Dalton is bad guy
A Ghost in Monte Carlo–Christopher Plummer and Oliver Reed have supporting role
A number of A list actors appeared in these; indeed several appeared in more than one!
The reviews for these movies are really LOL–you have been warned!
@Barb – Wow, someone else has read and remembers “”Desire of the Heart””?!! I’m shocked. Thanks for detailing more of the h’s disguise, and hey, it worked! ;) I admit that I liked the part where our H has to justify the “”immorality”” of sex with someone who is not his wife (little does he know, of course…).
Besides, how can anyone resist an ending like this:
“”He lifted her high in his arms. His face with alight with triumph. He was the conqueror, the victor, the traveller (sic) who had come to the end of his journey! Then, with her hair trailing over her bare shoulders to the floor, he carried her across the room, through the marble hall, and up the staircase.””
I can’t even type that without laughing… :) (And yet I still own this book, so what does it say about me? Haha…)
Sheesh–that’s the ‘hero’ who doesn’t recognize our re-vamped heroine.
Where’s my proofreader?
@Donna Lea Simpson–
Re: quote you referenced from Julie L–
Yes! as Julie mentioned, this general trope was one of BC’s favorites. Our heroine didn’t necessarily have to be fat, she just had to change her appearance to where the ‘her’ didn’t recognize her!
In Desire of the Heart(mentioned above by Sandy C), our heroine is very badly dressed (because she is living with the ebil aunt who does not want to be outshone (?) by her younger niece.)She also wears these very large, dark glasses, because of an eye injury! Off she goes to Paris on her honeymoon, where she doesn’t need the glasses any longer and is dressed by Worth (oh yeah, and finds a very good hairdresser!) TaDa! totally unrecognizable by hubby–and so on and so on.
Regards problems with Heyer–Heyer took BC to court over the These Old Shades plagiarism and threatened BC with court action several other times during Heyer’s lifetime. I always thought it a damn shame that BC outlived Heyer.
Well, I’m feeling considerably less freakish knowing that so many of you shared my Cartland addiction. I did not realize that Diana Rigg was in that very same movie — I remember them ALL. There was also one in which Timothy Dalton played, I think, the Evil Older Roue with Designs on the Heroine’s Virtue. And, kathy, thanks so much for your comment. You made my weekend.
I read Barbara Cartland as a young teen too. I don’t remember a single plot, except that I liked the earlier ones better as they had more plot – then I found out many were semi-plagiarised (is there such a word?) from Georgette Heyer. Her later books had heroines with very fancy and outlandish names (I can’t remember a single one now). I remember laughing with my friends – what mother would give her daughter such a name? Barbara Cartland initiated the re-issue of several romances from her girlhood, including E.M. Hull’s The Sheikh, way before Project Gutenberg and the internet made it freely available – and I devoured it as a teen – that’s the only book connected to her that I can remember clearly! I agree with all that Sandy said about Barbara Cartland’s books. She had a remarkable life though. And yes, her daughter, Raine, was Princess Diana’s stepmother.
My mother gave me Barbara Cartland books to read as a young teen. Obviously b/c there were no sex scenes, and she wouldn’t let me read her Loveswept at that age. It did foster the beginnings of my love of romance. I don’t remember the specifics of her books, funny to read this post, but I do remember I really enjoyed them.
I’ve not read Barbara Cartland either but her books couldn’t be as entertaining as this column and the responses. ;)
Great post Sandy! I love #9 regarding the chair for the swooning heroine. lol! I have to say, I’ve not read Cartland, and at this point in my life…probably never will. Regarding the heart-shaped face, I always think Reece Witherspoon with that sharp little chin. Nowadays the heroine seems to often have a wide mouth. I’mthinking Julia Roberts.
I agree that the “”heart-shaped face”” was managed by having a widow’s peak. At least, that’s what I also just assumed. The widow’s peak would then be combined with a small jaw (but not, presumably, a receding chin).
All I can remember is that I’ve read BC after Heyer and in comparison they were “”racy””. Although I’ve read dozens of her books I can’t remember one single plot. All what stayed in mind was a Russian prince and other heroes from far away countries (or am I possibly not correct?). And the o so sweet heroines. That’s quite contrary to the Heyer plots and that’s not because I’ve read some of the Heyers multople times.
As for danger for young female readers: BC didn’t prevent me of feeling (and beeing I think) emancipated and having some strong feminist opinions. So I believe she didn’t any damage. BC was escapisme, was fairy tale, may be was even dreaming of a world one knows did never exist and will never exist – but wouldn’t it be nice to have a dream man at your feet for only one fleeting moment?
In Germany we had a very successful author, Hedwig Courts-Mahler, with millions of sold copies who wrote just the same cinderella romances, but as she wrote her books from about 1900 to 1950 they were devoid of sex. This author was nearly forgotten but in the 70ies her books were reissued as paperbacks and again a huge success. Some of them were even made in TV movies. These movies with some very popular and famous actors had their audiance, too.
By the way, do You notice too, that people who think romances – the written kind – trashy are exited about movies with the exact same themes? Even with the obligatory HEA?
Yes, Bavarian. We do. LOL. But we’re not sure if it’s hypocrisy, blindness, stupidity or a cocktail of all three.
Elizabeth
What a fun post!
I was a big fan of Cartland when I was a pre/young teen and like someone else I moved on to the Coventry romances by Clare Darcy – amongst others and then on to the adult stuff my sister was reading including Rosemary Rogers, Kathleen Woodiwiss and Harold Robbins!
I sort of equate Cartland with Betty Neels in terms of the comfort of the formula. That said, I do think Neels heroines tended to have more spunk. Perhaps that’s why I can still pick up a Neels book and enjoy it, but I can’t say the same for Barbara Cartland.
Never (gasp!) read her, but enjoyed this post and comments tremendously. What gets me is that somehow she and Princess Diana were related, so the Virginity thing wasn’t all that dated at least up until the 1980s.
Yes, the heroines had tiny hands – but please dont’ forget the tiny, delicate feet with high arches! An obvious sign of nobility for any Cartland heroine!
I have not read Barbara Cartland, but enjoy hearing stories about her from authors who have met her. She was a early trailblazer in romance … so I tip my hat to her pink boa!
My husband tells me I have a heart-shaped face! But not a small one. :-)
Cartland was my first historical romance and really got the ball rolling. I never read her any more. I would rather not face the truth.
Sandy; I love the way you write!!What a wonderful sense of humor you have!!
The ellipses crept into her books once she was dictating them while reclining on a chaise lounge. Her contract called for no one to change even a comma. A good example of why publishers should never agree to such deals.
In the 1970s, Cartland books were sexy before sexy was officially okay, which I think accounted for their popularity. She opened the bedroom door as no one else had, while carrying high the standard of morals and virginity. Hypocritical, but she had lived through the free love experiments of the 1920s and seen the market plunge into a love affair with virginity. Her earlier books are much more interesting than her later ones, but I, too, have wondered which better authors she stole from–aside from the total rip-off of Georgette Heyer, of course, down to the entire plot and key dialogue from These Old Shades.
Well, why not stick to a working formula once you’re lucky enough to discover one? :)
Apparently many of us who are devout romance readers share a very similar high school/college- age history!
I worked as a page in a public library while I was in high school in the early ’60s. Shelving romances–both hardback and PB–introduced me to Cartland, Hill, and all the others. I remember reading the Jalna series and other romance bestsellers as well as the mysteries of the time.
When I went to college as an English major, one professor asked the students to write down what kind of reading they did. I wrote that I was an eclectic reader, and he decided I was a brilliant student because I used that adjective. LOL. I should have used the words indescriminent and voracious instead which might have given him a clearer picture.
LOL! My godmother/great-aunt gave me my first Barbara Cartland for Christmas when I was about 13 or 14. I can recall my father muttering that “”Sylvia’s confused your present with mine”” and handing me a Mills & Boon contemporary. A dutiful daughter, naturally I handed him the BC with a commendably straight face. He took one shocked look and passed it straight back. I think he said something about Sylvia having gone slightly senile. It’s one of my favourite memories of my father. Of course I read the Cartland that night and was slightly stunned. My best friend came to stay for a few days and she read it too. Eye opening for both of us. Helen found a massive stack of Cartlands in a local book exchange and we spent the rest of the summer reading them aloud to each other in suitably breathy voices and enjoying ourselves enormously. Just look where that got me. The … speech pattern can be a handy way of indicating stress, which is what I usually use it for. And, yes, it’s only too easy to overdo it. Live and learn. Hopefully.
Elizabeth
I’m another one who finally just could…not …deal…with…the…heroine’s…speech…pattern. I kept wondering what the heck the problem was. Speech impediment? Excruciating shyness? Stupidity? Shortness of breath? It was only much later that I realized that it was supposed to represent a kind of super-femininity. Eep!
Touch wood (since I never know even now if something could sweep over and make me crazy*go*nuts*for*Babs) I read precious few Barbara Cartlands compared to the vast array available. My entry-way drug to this magic land was Heyer but I was still crazy about High Fantasy (think Sutcliff, Cooper) and then … true confessions time … I switched to “”adult”” (by adult what I could find hidden on the shelves). My really what was I thinking books at the time were musty Harlequins hidden away on dusty shelves at cottages. Cartland was so over the top — which is not to say I didn’t enjoy her, I just didn’t crave her.
I read tons of Barbara Cartland when I was 12 or 13. My grandmother got me reading them. They were probably as racy a book as she ever owned. She also got me hooked on Catherine Cookson with the “”Mary Ann”” books. I then graduated to Victoria Holt..and the rest is all part of my romantic reading history!
I read Cartland until I discovered Harlequin in 8th grade. After that, I never picked up one again. Even when I read them, I disliked all the heroines!
The movie with Hugh Grant actually introduced me to romance. I remember seeing it when I was maybe 10 and how it affected me, I hadn’t realized that there were that sort of stories around.
I like to imagine that the halting speech comes from too tight corsets, the heroine has to fight for every breath :)
I will not claim to have read all 723 (and if that is not the precise mind-boggling huge number, then it’s close enough) Barbara Cartland romances, I definitely read — and owned (!) — over 150. Very few stick in the mind: the Victorian ones where the heroine is dressed by Worth himself, the Heyer rip-offs (and I believe there was a lot of bad blood between Heyer and the younger Cartland because of the latter’s appropriate of plot & character, etc.), and the one I actually still own, in which the protagonists have sex before marriage! Oh, yes, she did. It was a very early BC, written in the 1930s, and thus more in the racy mould of The Sheik (another book/author she ripped off, btw).
Dame Barbara did love horseflesh, too. The Pretty Little Horsebreakers may actually have involved Original Research — or I just don’t know whose book she robbed to get the set-up: tiny heroine enslaved/pressured to be seen in snow white riding habit on big glossy black horse so that her protector-to-be (the ebil villain) can be awash with lust and pay too much to the pimps (aka heroine’s unscrupulous cousin or whatever). I think it was the animal cruelty that really got me with that book.
I’ve referred to series romances as “”potato chip”” books, but really Barbara Cartland wrote trashy romances that had just enough angst in them to be like methadone for an angst-addict (which I was as a teenager) while I was waiting for the real thing from an author who did not write 23 books each year.
I think a heart-shaped face just means a wide forehead and small chin; the widow’s peak is not essential to maintain the heart. I suspect that a heart-shaped face is a triangular face with better PR.
I agree with all of the above!
Plus I must add one more: the heroine MUST have a “”Cupid’s bow mouth.””
I confess before I read good old Barbara I never knew what such a thing was and had to look it up.
Oh and the heroine must be extremely innocent as to the point of stupidity. IE: in one book where the hero tells her he wants to do more than just kiss her and she replies in confusion “”there’s more?””
Oh and also how ridiculously perfect was Marcus Gilbert in “”A Hazard of Hearts?”” (in the clip above) Was there anyone who ever looked more like Barbara Cartland’s idea of perfect aristocratic manhood?